[candacepr13]

I agree that marriage has nothing to do with age.

I'm twenty years old and have been with my current boyfriend for four years. Neither of us has ever cheated, we've had fights as all couples do but we managed to work through them. He is more than my best friend. He's been with me through a lot of really hard times. I have social anxiety disorder and despite all my problems he has stuck by my side and we are more in love now than we ever were.

Just because we're twenty does not mean anything. If we were thirty and had only known each other a year would you think we were more prepared to get married? People change throughout their entire lives, I watched my mother change significantly after my dad died and she was nearly fifty. We are both incredibly mature for our age. We spend enough time together that we know everything bad and good about each other.

And if you want to throw statistics in there, most couples that live together before they're married get divorced.

We're both faithful so the idea of sleeping around and "playing the feild" isn't for me. We're not engaged yet but we've pretty much decided we're going to get married. We both want kids. We are both very family oriented and want to stay where we grew up. We love each others families (in fact he will often times babysit my nephews when I can't). We're both in college right now but both of our dreams are artistic (I want to go into film and he wants to be a musician we'll both probably end up as teachers) so if we wait for financial stability we'll probably be waiting our whole lives.

I understand that at 20 years old many people aren't ready, but to group everyone together by age is unfair.

[Jake2008]

I got married at 22, he was 23, we have been married 33 years this past July, and I'd like to tell you what I'd do differently.

We both started with good jobs, solid friends, family, and believed that we could conquer anything. And we did. Lived through devastation, job loss, illness, and had the highest highs and the lowest lows. We made it work, we communicated, and still do, very well. We still love each other.

But, reading these posts has me thinking that, what would the difference had been, had we waited five years. For one thing, I would have learned more about him, and what kind of man he was maturing into. I am high energy, get out and do things kind of person, and he is a lay low, papers and the history channel kind of guy. I did not know our metabolisms were so different in the very early years. But, I developed my own interests, and didn't sit still. Still don't.

What I gave up were opportunities I could have had, had I delayed marriage, and the commitment it requires to work. That puts a very special time in your life when you are young, to experience life, on hold. Marriage takes everything you've got, financially and emotionally. You are not steering your own life now, you are steering a shared life.

I had been a model, had a college degree, and an opportunity to join a national airline, and see the world. I had been offered a contract for work doing things I loved to do- art photography at a college. I had interests in music, and a desire to experience different cultures.

But, I was so in love, and marriage put an end to those kinds of dreams. I replaced them all with a mortgage, job, car payments. Then came babies, diapers, years of stress and sacrifice. Job layoffs, moves across the country, and indifference with inlaws. My single friends who stayed single longer than I did, did live their dreams. Many continued their educations, and became very successful in their own right.

I run into some of them now and then, and I think, "They are living my dream".

Would I have not married my husband? No, I would have married him. But, and here's the big but, I would have taken five years to remain single, and explore my interests and talents, before I joined another person for life.

So, you have to think. If you could have five years, just for you, right at this time in your life to pursue anything you've always wanted to do, would you regret not doing them, 33 years from now?

[pleasehelp88]

I agree with Becca1025 and La Siesta Encantada.
I am 21 and my fiancé (whom I will marry next year) is 24. We have finished college.. He has a bacholars and I finished Dental Assisting school. We have been together for over 4 years.( not the off-again, on-again relationship that most young immature people have but we have been together for 4 years straight! :)) I don't think it's the age at all that matters. What matters is your maturity level and how responsible you are. Marriage it definitely not a fairy tale, we know that there will be good and bad times. You will have to work with each other and compromise and all... I also don't think its has bad as some people say. I have known several people that have worked through college after getting married. Sure it's a struggle but everything in life is. Life does not stop after marriage... its a new journey.