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Lost Guy · Mar 14, 2007, 08:21 AM

No you steered me in the total right direction last night. She told me that she had a good time. When I got to her house I left my truck running in the driveway and walked her in.

With my truck running she knew I was leaving and that is when she said that I didn't have to leave just yet. If I had lunch with her I wanted to explain about the sex thing last night and how much my emotions were involved. I don't want her to think I am doing

Someone because I promised her at the beginning of the break up that I wouldn't do that. Could it possibly be good for me to make her wonder? She also made a comment that I

Didn't try to hold her hand and I told her that I was not sure if that is what you wanted me to do. She said she adways had to make the first move in the past but she was not doing it last night. Come to think of it she made the move for me to stay.

Ash123 · Mar 14, 2007, 08:25 AM

A lot of great advice has been given here. Now your biggest challenge is clearing your head:

1) You had fun at concert. Nothing HEAVY.

2) Her last memory of you (the one she will lbe living with) will be 100% positive.
**Note, because you had sex, I would respond in a short positive way,
and let her still see you can live without her, but respect her.

3) NOW WALK AWAY.

4) SHE WILL FIND YOU if she wants to go another round.

5) All the burden of responsibility is gone. It's all on her. Enjoy that.

If you give her time and she comes back it will be GREAT. If she does not, you know it was not to be and *you will have saved yourself from divorce proceedings (10x worse than any break-up) years down the road.

Enjoy, and raise a lighter for me.

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 08:37 AM

Yep.

I can't imagine how your night would have gone if you kept brining up the relationship and how YOU feel - and why you can't be together - blah, blah, blah

She would have gone home and you would never have seen her again.

Lost Guy · Mar 14, 2007, 09:08 AM

Should I leave a note or a short phone call being as sex was involved ?

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 09:24 AM

No - lay low - be cool. Wait for her to call you. Be busy. Quit rushing things. I'd wait a day or two if she doesn't call. Do not contact her today. Make her guess a little bit - keep her on her toes - make her miss - she will love you for it! Seriously - you're always in her face and she will run.

(for the love of good I hope you haven't already)

Lost Guy · Mar 14, 2007, 09:37 AM

No I have not contacted her or left her a note. You're saying if she don't contact me in the next day or two that I should contact her? If so than what should I say to her?

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 09:45 AM

Yeah - just be cool about this.

Say HI!! I had great time the other night!! It was a lot of FUN (you're the fun guy)... mention something fun that happened that night. Tell her how GREAT it was to hold her. TEASE HER!! TEASE!! "You're actualy fun to go out with!!"

See - let HER talk - women talk 70% OF THE CONVERSATION AnYWAY - GUYS DON'T GET THAT.

You really think she wants Mr. Sensitive. Mr. Sensitive almost couldn't have sex. Evict Mr. Sensitive.

AGAIN - no women wants Mr. Sensitive - needy guy.

Lost Guy · Mar 14, 2007, 10:39 AM

Wildcat, She just called me and asked if I was still at the house so I could do something for her. I was able to tell her what I wanted to about last night and she totally understood everything. The wheels are rolling in the right direction. So at this point just leave her alone right? Your advise has been priceless.

talaniman · Mar 14, 2007, 11:08 AM

You do have other things in your life to tend to don't you? You aren't just sitting by the phone are you? If you are get busy with a life. The less you say the better.

Ash123 · Mar 14, 2007, 12:08 PM

Lonely Guy,

Your work is DONE. You survived.

Now leave it ALLLL on her.

Any violations, errands, calls, texts, drop-bys inside of 3 months will downgrade your man-stock. Enjoy your freedom.

DO NADA!! (You gain control by relinquishing control)

missk · Mar 14, 2007, 12:08 PM

All I have to say is you absolutely should not have gone inside last night-what happened to all the great advice we gave you. In my opinion, YES it is healthy for you to make her wonder. Remember she is the one that told you she needed space so give it to her. Stand up for yourself, regain some control or you will be right back where you started.

missk · Mar 14, 2007, 12:16 PM

Where are your post its? I think you should not have any contact with her what-so-ever for at least a week. I have been in this very same situation-make her wonder and want you again-the way it was before. Then you can work on the details.

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 12:35 PM

Ugfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Be busy. You don't always have to answer the phone. You can be busy - you don't always have to do things for..

This isn't a game either. It's about having balanace in your. Balance is key

WHY on earth keep bringing up the tough stuff all the time. QUIT IT!!

This is part of having a spine. You shouldn't always have to run to the phone when she calls. It also shows you have a life and your life doesn't revolve around her ever.

GO SLOW!! There's no rush here - she'll appreciate that.

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 12:39 PM

Ash - good stuff.

I think it was great he went inside. They had not been together for a while.

See - and the women here are going to kill me - women love drama!! Love drama. You be all boring and predictable and be there for her and she will lose interest quickly.

valinors_sorrow · Mar 14, 2007, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

See - and the women here afre going to kill me - women love drama!!!

I got news, not just women love drama. Men come with their own version of drama too. Some men. Some women. In fact, you only need look at how some of the posts are "styled" here to see some male drama in action. LOL Lots of repeated letters, over use of certain punctuation, regular use of all caps for emphasis. Hmm? Time to realise this is one man's personal prejudice. :p

(And you were doing so good there for a while, WC)

LBP · Mar 14, 2007, 12:52 PM

I can only state that though I haven't necessarily agreed with everything that WildCat has had to say it is my experience that every prediction, analysis and hypothesis he has made has been dead-on balls accurate...

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2007, 12:53 PM

Val - I agree... I get caught up it in a lot!!

Lost Guy · Mar 15, 2007, 10:42 AM

Progress? One of the things she always tried to get me to do is to sing karaoke. She has asked me on numerous occasions to sing. Well the "fun guy" started singing on Sunday

And I surprised many friends. I told her at the concert that I started singing and she was a little upset for a minute. Told her maybe she can hear me one night and she said she

Didn't want to (playing hardball). Anyway, last night I went to sing with a friend that does karaoke. After that I went to my hangout to sing. When I got inside she was there. I went

And picked out my song and waited. After I sang she called me over to her and hugged me and told me that she was proud of me and it sounded really good. So she did hear me

Sing after all. I told her that I had to leave because it was getting late and I had to work. She said "I Love You" and I left. She also called 15 minutes after I left and I DIDN'T answer. She

Left a message just making sure I got home OK. Ever since the concert things really have changed. I've followed your advice and it's really making a huge difference. Do you all think this is a smoke screen or am I really making progress??

Lost Guy · Mar 15, 2007, 10:54 AM

Oh, she also told me when I sang it brought tears to her eyes.

Wildcat21 · Mar 15, 2007, 11:14 AM

No it's sincere... BUT - don't rush this... GO SLOW!

It sounds like you're in.

Understand now about being the fun guy?? No pressure. No dumbass relationship questions.

Don't go rushing to call her... that cal lalso may have been kind of a booty - call be it's GREAT you didn't answer.

Right now you don't and shouldn't talk with her every day.

Did I remind you to go slow??