[itsamor]

Basically longgggggg story

[emopunk7]

Oh I see... But why didn't you want to stay with him?

[itsamor]

Well he started hanging out with an old friend who was older and a bad influence on him.. making him be someone who I knew he wasn't. This guy took my boyfriend out in the city and I didn't hear from him for TWO WEEKS! NOT COOL! It was unusual and this guy put silly things into his head telling him he was whipped & stuff. Soo once he finally came back I was so upset that I didn't know where he was, if he was OK, if he found someone else... that I just said screw this it's over.

[emopunk7]

I gotcha... well u can PM me anytime.

I hope to have a wonderful day tomorrow! Same for everyone else. Night itsamor.

[emopunk7]

What would you do if...
Your girlfriend goes with you and your cousin and her boyfriend to a bar to chill with your friends. Then when you leave with your girlfriend and cousin and her boyfriend, your girlfriend decides to leave your cousin and boyfriend behind. She keeps walking fast and you are telling her to please slow down so that they can catch up because they are so far behind. Then your cousin yells hey wait for us but your girlfriend still says no they can walk faster. Then she turns and says you are the worst boyfriend ever and she runs away for no reason. Then you follow so that she don't think you don't care and then she comes running back and throws punches at you and calls you an "a hole" in front of everyone. Then she runs away again to a train station and you go to her and say sorry for her getting upset and she yells "get the f... away from me" and continues saying hurtful things in front of your cousin. What would you do after?

[emopunk7]

Can someone answer?

[talaniman]

Get another girlfriend.

Doesn't sound like she enjoyed herself that much!

[friend4u178]

Forget about this GF or any GF for that matter until you've learnt to be happy being alone. Either that or invest in some boxing gloves.

You seem to me to have an obsession about having to have a girlfriend , believe me it's a lot healthier to be happy alone than in a dysfunctional relationship.

[emopunk7]

Thank you for your response. I have to stop asking these questions. My friends invited me out and for the first time I did go. I had fun. Its not a relationship but it was a good time. Can't remember the last time I went to a bar alone with friends. They invited me and I said yes. I got a pretty girls number and I just tried enjoying the moment and I'm home now and still pretty excited but its still not my ex. Maybe soon I can get over this. I have sooo much appreciation for everyone trying to help me. I know some can be okay and not understand the pain which feels like a death bed but thank you for those who can relate. This is pretty bad. Soon I hope to understand all this. I don't want to use the word love losely... but I have a certain love for the people helping me here. You guys keep me trying day by day. And as obnoxious as I sound, I am keeping no contact. Someday I will be proud of my hard efforts! Thank you! Thank you T-Man especially for not giving up on me!! Thank you friend4U... I think your advice is always great... And she did say she was miserable a lot... so you are both right... But that just makes me think I wasn't good enough... I really tried my best. Soon my happiness will come... I don't plan on being single... My dream is to have a good job and have a great happy family with a woman I love... I am 24 and right now semi-drunk but I hope I will be okay in this world. Lots of love till tomorrow!

[talaniman]

You seem to yype better when your drunk, LOL. Hey don't rush life Emo, it comes to you any way.

"Its a cinch if you take it by the inch.

Its hard when you take it by the yard"

[Cat1864]

Emo, I really hope that someday you find the woman who can work with you to build a wonderful life.

For today, just enjoy living. Enjoy rebuilding friendships that you have let slip away.

[amicon]

Yes-enjoy life-and hopefully no hangover.:-).

[bswc]

Glad to see that u've made progress again emopunk! I just realise amhd doesn't keep u on track if u don't post some answers after the poster made a reply. I'm feeling good too!

[emopunk7]

I had to hold myself from crying today about two times... I just wonder why is it that people cheat and still forgive each other yet I couldn't be forgiven for doing what she did. Does it mean she didn't love me as much as I loved her? I even asked for forgiveness and said sorry after. So I'm confused.

[amicon]

Emo you re doing it to yourself again-asking yourself endless questions that most likely will not ever find answers.
Don't be so hard on yourself-you re coming up to the two months mark soon-try to look forward and not allow yourself to revisit the past.

[emopunk7]

Yeah, I guess I want answers to questions that can never be answered.

[Cat1864]

Emo, this may sound strange, but you need to go FULL No Contact. You seem to be using questioning yourself and past events as a way to hold on to her much like other people do MySpace and Facebook. On the surface, it doesn't look like contact because you aren't calling or texting her. However, your mind seems to be using making lists and questioning as a subconscious way to hold on to her memory and indirectly her.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop the questions.

When you find yourself thinking about her or who did what and when, give yourself a mental kick in the seat and change the subject to more enjoyable thoughts.

[rockie100]

I like to think of it like a TV channel being changed... If you start to think about her, or the past, change the channel.
You can't think of two things at once.
A thought, a memory, has little to do with reality... its not 'now'. You can poke your finger right through one.

[emopunk7]

Wow Cat... No Contact is hard enough and now you think I should be able to control my thoughts. That will be VERY difficult. Especially since I'm a very loving person so it's hard to let go what I once gave my all to. I'm a romantic all the way. I believe in fighting till the end for what you want. This time it is sooo hard for me because I am going against my heart. I am not doing the "romantic" thing and I am also feeling like it's my fault for doing what she did back to her instead of dumping her or just ignoring it altogether. I'm dealing with that part the most. I know nobody is God to tell me that I made the right choice, or if it was bound to happen anyway in the near future, or if I would have ignored it, she would have continued anyway and to more extremes. I tell myself I could have spoken to her for the fourth time but then what? Tell her again the twentieth time as well? Two times was enough I think. But since we broke up, I feel like I should have gone to the twentieth time. I have trouble with my rationalization. Not knowing if I did the right thing or if breaking up was bound to happen, kills me. I am a great thinker. I should use my mind for better things. I am great at nearly all sports especially basketball, football, baseball and swimming. I love to design rooms. I love writing poetry. If anybody is interested just send me a PM... I can do it off the top of my head within minutes or professionally with great thought. I also play drums for my band. I guess I have a lot of things I can do instead of thinking about girls all the time. I guess I am trying to make my mind not torture me anymore because it keeps telling me this is all my fault. I am trying to make excuses but deep down I keep blaming myself for ruining it.

[amicon]

When we breakup it's not one person's fault-it does take two to tango-work on forgiving yourself -you re being very hard on YOU-and I think you deserve better. We' re all trying to help you here,please help yourself as well-and we can to some extent stop our thoughts from going
Down memory lane by switching our focus to something else.
Your poems are good-maybe you could write one about hope?