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noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yep, that would be good.
If they do, I hope you rethink your relationship with your girl friend. You don't want this mess to happen again

What do u mean rethink my relationship with her

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 01:26 PM

Ask yourself it it is wise to stay with her. What will stop this mess from happening again?
What if her family tries something else and she goes along with them?

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Ask yourself it it is wise to stay with her. What will stop this mess from happening again?
What if her family tries something else and she goes along with them?

She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by noko2149

She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday.... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

She told your father you hit her didn't she?

Alty · Jun 28, 2012, 03:28 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

She told your father you hit her didn't she?

That's my guess, and if she did, then you have to wonder if it's a lie, or if she's just too afraid of the OP to tell him she's done with their relationship.

We can only go by what the OP has written. I'm sure we'd get a far different story if the OP's girlfriend posted here.

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 03:32 PM

Homegirl50...
She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:34 PM

Homegirl50...
She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:42 PM

I can't imagine why she would say such a thing and why you still have so much faith in her.
No matter what happens, I think you really need to rethink your relationship with her. It may be time to let her go. At the beginning in your original post she was letting you go. I think you need to leave her alone.

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I can't imagine why she would say such a thing and why you still have so much faith in her.
No matter what happens, I think you really need to rethink your relationship with her. It may be time to let her go. At the beginning in your original post she was letting you go. I think you need to leave her alone.

What do you mean you don't know why she would say such a thing? And I never said she was letting me go.. She's not even done with me.. I guess time is just hard right now.. And why leave her alone if I haven't contacted her?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:49 PM

Then today my girlfriend calls me and i told her what was on my mind and she said that she can't do this anymore and i asked her if she loved me and she said yes and thats why i have to let you go, if you love someone, then you have to let them go sometimes.. then i told her to not let people influence her wrong decisions and getting into her head.. and thats what i think is happening because her family is trying to not let her want me anymore, and i think its wrong.. I know she still wants me.. But i don't know why she asked me what i would do if she found someone else??.. i ask her why would you say that and she said she just asking and that she doesn't have anyone else..
This is from your original post. She initially was going to let you go. Did she know about the court case then?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:51 PM

This girl and her family are trouble for you if you did not hit her and I don't know why you would want to stay with her after all of this. If you did not hit her, this is her doing. Why would you want all this drama?

Alty · Jun 28, 2012, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by noko2149

What do you mean you don't know why she would say such a thing? And I never said she was letting me go.. She's not even done with me.. I guess time is just hard right now.. And why leave her alone if I haven't contacted her?

She's taking you to court! It's scheduled. Apparently this isn't the first charge!

The fact that you won't leave her alone is a huge concern! Let this girl go, let her live her life without you trying to control everything!

I don't believe for one second, based on your posts, that you're as innocent as you claim to be.

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Then today my girlfriend calls me and i told her what was on my mind and she said that she can't do this anymore and i asked her if she loved me and she said yes and thats why i have to let you go, if you love someone, then you have to let them go sometimes.. then i told her to not let people influence her wrong decisions and getting into her head.. and thats what i think is happening because her family is trying to not let her want me anymore, and i think its wrong.. I know she still wants me.. But i don't know why she asked me what i would do if she found someone else??.. i ask her why would you say that and she said she just asking and that she doesn't have anyone else..
This is from your original post. She initially was going to let you go. Did she know about the court case then?

No...

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by noko2149

No...

She had to have known.
What was the first charge of assault about?

Alty · Jun 28, 2012, 06:39 PM

I have a suggestion, more for Homegirl than the OP. Homegirl, you are a blessing, and your patience and understanding are much more than I could ever hope for.

I do urge you to read the thread from the beginning, and I hope that you realize that you're only getting the OP's side of the story. I know you already realize that. I just don't want you to invest too much time in a story that's one sided.

My main issue is this. If the OP's girlfriend didn't admit that she was abused by the OP, there would be nothing to take to trial. So either she's lying (this isn't the first charge against the OP), or the OP is lying.

If I had to bet, I'd bet against the OP. I've also been the victim of abuse in a dating situation. The OP sounds very much like my ex. Possessive, won't let go, won't admit to any wrong doing on his part. He may very well not even realize that his version of love is actually abuse.

Just my opinion. I'm not saying that the OP actually abused his girlfriend, it's very possible that he's telling the truth. But it also possible that he's telling the truth as he sees it, and most abusers don't realize that they're abusive.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 28, 2012, 06:52 PM

I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

Alty · Jun 28, 2012, 07:05 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

I agree 110%! Innocent or guilty, this relationship isn't in the best interest of either party.

noko2149 · Jun 28, 2012, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

I'm not lien and I'm not abusive. I have nothing to lie about.. I'm telling homegirl50 about what happens everyday.. Thanks

noko2149 · Jun 29, 2012, 12:38 PM

My girlfriend called me

Alty · Jun 29, 2012, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by noko2149

I'm not lien and I'm not abusive. I have nothing to lie about.. I'm telling homegirl50 about what happens everyday.. Thanks

That's fine, but this is a public site, and anyone can post on this thread and offer their opinion. You don't have to read the advice posted, but we have every right to post it. Just so you know.