[spartan24018]

Thanks spartan. Just what i needed. Now, i'll go kill myself.
Hope your happy.
thanks. you helped me bake up my my mind.

Sorry if I was too harsh, but you haven't moved on from this relationship that doesn't exist. Everyone's been telling you great advices 15 pages ago, why don't you follow through with them? You have nothing to lose, so Beth, just take a chance. Live your life without him and see how it goes. Ignore him. I apologize for my bashing comments, forgive me.
Maybe you need professional help, more then we can give here.

[spartan24018]

National suicide hotline 1-800-621-4000
(1-800-SUICIDE)- 1-800-784-2433

(1-800-793-TALK)- 1-800-273-8255

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually no what you do need is loving people that are trying to help you.
You know well that at times what we want in a relastionship can not always happen, if the other person does not want the relastionship we can not force them to do anything,

And of course you really don't want to kill yourself, but you want to scare some poor teen boy that his truth ( although a little hard) is going to cause anything. Think of it this way, he can see from what is written that at times we have to understand that life moves on, and that we are not always going to be with the one we wanted at that point and time.

But guess what, things change, and things can get better, you first learn to be happy with yourself, if that takes professional help you go get it.
Is it easy, of course not, pain and being alone can hurt, knowing that someone did not want to try and be part of a relastionship hurts,

I buried 2 wife's, one of them in the same month I had a boy locked up on drug charges, but life goes on, it hurts when you are there, but you take one step at a time to move on. So this relastionship did not work, OK, start doing things meeting people and find yourself and then if you want another relastionship go for it, but living in the past will nt help you at all.

But I will say this, sometimes a harsh word, to give you a kick in the rear is what people need, a wake up call that OK life is lousy now, so what, others have the same pains at time, you are not that different from many of us. And actually in some ways, yours may not be near as bad as others, so find a way to look at the good things you still have, and go on.
Talk to the religious leader of your choice, I don't care if you are muslim or jewish or christian, their religious leaders are there and always glad to help you find a new path.

There are a lot of great people who for 33 pages have wanted and tried to help. And you don't see to be thankful for what you have, this is your wake up call,

So pick up the phone, drive over to your religious leader or a secular couselor and start finding your life agaain.

1 800 suicide will give you a loving person who will be there to help you,

So lets face life as it really is, and lets get real with each other, get mad, get angry, get help.

[beth911]

Sorry. Religious? I'm catholic, but uh, I don't go to church or even believe in god or any of that. I have the mind of an atheiest.

[Fr_Chuck]

Great, you don't have to beleve in god to get help from your local priest, they are happy to help anyone who needs help. So you are catholic, then you would know where your local church is, they are glad to help.

Or you are a atheist, great, won't try to convert you, your faith or lack of it, is your business, there are secular couslors that would be glad to talk to you and help you also.

Sorry atheist don't have a religious leader, so can't send you to one.

But it appears you have a hatred for religion, may I ask why?
Since I recommended several choices, including any religion of your choice? And you seem to want to attack religion, what caused you to lose your faith, were you looking for a god to do something he did not for you?

[beth911]

I live right down the street from a church but I never go there


You know what really bothers me...
Him always talking to this girl in a class I have with him when he sits right next to me and doesn't say a word to me. And he always makes it sound like he's so happy to see her. And then the teacher was talking about something with getting more money when your married and he turned to her and said "are you thinking what I'm thinking?''
He says she's just a friend.. but I'm sure it won't be long and they'll be together.
But he may have a problem with her weight. He thinks I'm fat and I weigh like 126
She has to be at least 200.

[Wondergirl]

Him always talking to this girl in a class i have with him when he sits right next to me and doesnt say a word to me. And he always makes it sound like hes so happy to see her.

(I jumped back in, flossie.)

Beth, you know darn well he knows you are all ears when he does that and is trying to make you jealous. I still think ignoring him will drive him nuts and make him wonder what you're up to. I wish you could do it and continue doing it, and not cave in. I don't think you would "lose" him.

[beth911]

I can try... but I'll do it for a few weeks and then come here and tell you what happens... but I'm going to need alotta help if he doesn't come back.
Also, I HAVE to say this...
I heard this some where and its EXACTLY how I feel:
It's hard to wait around for something that may never happen, but it's even harder to give up espcially when it's everything you've ever wanted.

[Wondergirl]

it's even harder to give up espcially when it's everything you've ever wanted.

It's not giving up.

How about this? When you talk with him, DO NOT talk about the two of you. Talk about Goldilocks and the Three Bears or Strawberry Shortcake or Winnie the Pooh. Talk about your pets at home. Talk about one of your teachers. DO NOT talk about the two of you. When he flirts with some girl, smile knowingly and just shake your head at the stupidity of males. Act grown up, not like a needy child.

[beth911]

I almost wrote him asking why we can't just talk. Just about normal things that have nothing to do with us but I figured he wouldn't take the note. And I figured that would ruin the whole ignoring him thing. And I asked if we could just be friends and he said that he had enough friends and he doesn't need me.
The only way I can really talk to him now is at school, in class, where everyone can hear everything that I say. He said he got rid of his e-mail address andi know he won't accrpt notes.
And the part about giving up... I mean I would f=never give up on him. Sometimes I wonder if I should but I know I wouldn't be able to.

[beth911]

I'm afraid he won't come back. I mean he's not showing any sign what so ever that he wants to talk to me. Except every now and then he turns around and looks at me during class and then just looks away really quick.

[kmt1986]

That's because you are still acting like you want him. If you ask pathetic questions like "can we be friends" it still shows him he has you wrapped around his finger. Let it go completely or your wasting your time.

[beth911]

Do you think he will really come back though?
I just don't see it happening but everyone else says it will

[beth911]

J called and said that the teacher stopped him after class and asked what I was suspended for. He sounded kind of mad. I told him why. Then I just said "is that all you called for?" and then "allright i'll see you on monday" then he just kind of hung up. But I could just tell by the sound in his voice... he had the sound he has when he talks to someone he hates.
But I don't see why he would call just because a teacher was wondering why I was suspended

[talaniman]

You need to get your act together, young lady, this is getting to pathetic. Forget the guy, and worry about you for a change.Don't you love yourself??

[beth911]

When he sends me things like this:
Its all a bunch of meaningless ploys to get me to stay. Honestly, I don't find you the least bit attractive, I can't bring myself to try and talk with you, and I also can't find a reason to stay with you. There are so many other things I'd rather do. So I think I'll go do them.

Do you think he ever cared about me at all?
Do you really thinnk I have a chance?

[Wondergirl]

Who got asked about you when you didn't show up at school? Who called you to report that conversation with the teacher?

Did J have to call you at all? No. Why did he?

[beth911]

He called me and asked me all that.
But I mean , why would he care about that enough to call me if he hates me like he says he does?
But that e-mail is what bothers me and he said he got rid of his e-mail account. But then he e-mailed me today.

[Wondergirl]

Instead of being draggy and emo and moody and needy when you see him at school or when he talks to you, try being happy and fun and interesting.

Has he signed up definitely for the military? Or will he finish h.s. after all?

** Great Idea ** -- both of you finish h.s. and get your diploma.

[talaniman]

Why don't you leave him alone, and stop talking to him for a while. In other words give it a break, and find something else to do. I mean is all you do all day is worry, cry, and complain about him?? What else do you do with your day.