[A4Effort]

So here is what went down. No need to tell me that I shouldn't have done this or that. I know what I did is wrong. But I just had so many unanswered questions. The following are the texts that went on between her and I.

Me: Katelyn told me how you and her talked about me. I can't be friends with you right now because I am in love with you. I always will be. So I just need to let you go since you do not have the same feelings for me. I will keep things short and polite as I move on with my life.

Her: Okay I understand. I hope things are going all right.

Me: Things are going great and I'm happy to have received this opportunity because I am having a blast. But no matter where I am I will always think of you. I just wish you had the same feelings for me that I have for you.

Me: I just have a question though. How can you be over me just like that? I know the whole friends and keeping busy thing but still. Were you over me before you even broke up with me? This reminds me of how you broke up with your other ex.

Her: I just felt that I needed to move on and go with my heart, and confidence in this lead me to have no regrets and keep moving forward.

Me: Well thanks for using me as your stepping stone. Much appreciate.

Her: What are you talking about?

Me: What do you thing I'm talking about. You telling me this makes me feel that I was used as an object for your personal needs. You are not the girl I thought you once were.

Her: I can't believe you, do you seriously think I would use you or stay with you if I didn't love you? You weren't a stepping stone, and if I didn't love you I wouldn't have been with you

Me: Well if you loved me you wouldn't have left me. Enjoy your life and have fun being heartless.

Her: There are different kinds of love. I loved you but I needed to go my own way. Don't you dare call me heartless.

Me: Well I guess you had the wrong love for me.

Her: Ive been in love with you many times before, but then I think I came to feel a different kind of love and I couldn't keep going merely out of fear of losing you.

Me: So if you lost all feelings for me why do you want a friendship?

Her: Because I feel connected to you and it would be great if we didn't have to give that up. But I will accept whatever happens.

How the hell can someone be this heartless. What the f***!!

[paxe]

*sigh.. * Yea, so much for NC man. You're just hurt and hurting yourself more. On top of that, you just showed you were weak. Where is your pride? The break up is a life lesson, if you don't learn from it how will go on in life?

Go NC ASAP and apply it until there is no tomorrow. You NEED this time alone. She is at least being honest and straightforward with you, she isn't giving you false hope. That shows her integrity from her part. You need to leave her alone and take care of yourself already.

[amicon]

So you fell off the wagon-time to get back on it again.
You know the drill so no need to advice on NC-will this conversation help you move on?
I hope so-and you shouldn't consider friendship not for a long long time.

[A4Effort]

Well the reason as to why I did it is because I had nothing to lose. I knew she wasn't coming back so I thought at least I would find out her reasoning.

She is out of my life completely. I will not bat an eyelash at her anymore. F*** her. I don't care if she is happy. I don't care if she succeeds. I don't care about her anymore. I gave her everything. I committed myself 100%. I made her feel like she was on top of the world. Any girl would love to have what I offered her. But what does she do to me? Leaves me. F*** relationships. F*** her. F*** love.

[talaniman]

What a shameful display that was. She is what she is, and you had a choice to walk away clean with your head up.

You didn't. I don't have a clue what you expected, but I hope you got it.

I just can't believe you skipped the football games for this.

[paxe]

Yea, that's bad man. You can try and use your anger to move forward now, at least chanel that energy for something positive.

[A4Effort]

It drove me crazy that I didn't know why she left me. I needed to find out. So according to her her love for me changed. She has a "different" love for me. So I got what I asked for.

How the f*** can someone tell you every day that they love you. How can they give you thoughful notes that say: You are the one for me. You make me complete. I can see being with you for the rest of my life. You have made me happy. etc... How can they do all this and more and then leave? Just like that. This was quick and unexpected. Its as if a switch clicked.

I hope karma is a b****.

[A4Effort]

I am not a horrible guy. I was that guy that every one loves. That guy that every girl dreams of being married to. If I was an a**hole I would understand. If I didn't treat her well I would understand. If I didn't make her feel like a million bucks, I would understand. If I didn't buy her things, do sentimental things, be there for her during tough times, be her friend, partner, lover, etc... I would understand.

But I was all this and much much more and she chose to leave me.

[talaniman]

You don't get to call people names when you're the one pressing someone to explain why they changed. Your actions have led to this point so why be mad you couldn't control her feelings?

People change all the time, and relationships fail, for one reason or another. Don't blame it on her, she gotcha, and you helped her do it.

[A4Effort]

You don't get to call people names when your the one pressing someone to explain why they changed. Your actions have led to this point so why be mad you couldn't control her feelings?

People change all the time, and relationships fail, for one reason or another. Don't blame it on her, she gotcha, and you helped her do it.

What do you mean by I helped her do it? I helped her feel that way? Is that what you mean by that?

I was there for her in every way. I went out of my way to make her happy in every way. I don't need to list all the things that I did for her but I did not drive her away. I cannot explain why she changed her feelings.

[paxe]

The main problem is that you are "took" care of her and you seem to have forgotten a bit about yourself. Like Tal said, people change and we need to move on.

[A4Effort]

Yeah, well why should I ever be in another relationship when they will just change their feelings and leave me?

[talaniman]

What do you mean by I helped her do

Instead of dropping her like a hot potato, you kept pushing and pushing. You were being the in love puppy dog when you should have left the witch. That's what I meant, but instead of seeing this one sided thing as over, you now chose to not understand how she played you and dumped you. That's what I mean.

You did a lot of good caring things, for someone who didn't deserve it, so you helped her, or let her get away with What she did.

All you had to do was take a few suggestions, and see beyond your own misplaced, and misguided, feelings.

Re read this whole post, the advice hasn't changed at all, and you had enough opportunity to nip this in the bud, and come away clean.

In cases like this, your actions play a big part in all that's happened so don't you dare put it all on her, witch that she is, she didn't MAKE you do anything. That was ENTIRELY your choice.

We all have learned some hard to face facts about ourselves after things like this happen. You aren't the first to fall for the charms and games of someone, and won't be the last.

When you have calmed down you will get over it, we all do. For now it sucks.

[A4Effort]

I agree all these feelings that I am feeling now are because of my actions. I am the one who asked her. You are very correct there.

All I was saying is that I do not think my actions throughout our relationship is what caused her to change her feelings. I think it was something more internal for her. I was trying to explain how I was trying to do always the best and treat her the way she wanted to be treated. That is why I am angry. I am angry because I feel I tried to be the best boyfriend a girlfriend could have. My feelings were genuine for her and I do not believe she had genuine feelings for me throughout our relationship. That bothers me because she made me believe that her feelings were genuine. When she said that I was the one for her or that I made her complete, I believed her. I was immersed into out life and put myself out there completely. She took those feelings and shattered them into a million of pieces. She used me as a stepping stone to reach a little bit higher in her life.

She said she didn't know if I was the one and needed to go out and find out. Bull because now that she left me she has not want to come back to me at all. She lied to me. She kept on telling me how she wishes we met later in life and not so early on.

Screw her and everything I gave her. I was so gullible and she used my love. I hope she finds everything in life that she is looking for.

[talaniman]

Actually I sympathize with you as I can remember how mad at myself I was, when I got played by a really cute playa, whom I believed in everything she said, no matter what it was.

Hell of a lesson, isn't it?

[A4Effort]

You can say that again. I think early on in the relationship her feelings were genuine. But once things started getting worse then I think they disappeared. Also, after our first break up nothing returned to normal even though life was bliss for the both of us. Those feelings never disappeared even though I made sure to ask her before taking her back. I asked if she will be committed to me and will not regret having stayed with me. YES! She said. Nothing but lies.

She had so many beautiful qualities that I was immediately drawn in. Screw her. I feel bad for the next guy. I can't believe how hurt and angry I am. But I know I will pick myself up and become strong again. I will move on and be successful.

[friend4u178]

I'm the same as Tal and had the same thing happen to me , and when I think back now and think of all the energy I spent trying to get her back and worrying about all the ifs and buts I cringe. I was such a Doofus :rolleyes:

Now I'm just so glad I have nothing to do with her and learnt some valuable lessons along the way , believe me , you'll do the same once you just let it go.

[A4Effort]

I do just need to let go. She has caused enough pain. I will not tolerate this crap anymore. I can't believe her true colors are tinted dark black.

[A4Effort]

Time to go work out and get some frustration out.

I feel more anger than pain now but I feel like tomorrow I will be very very hurt. I hate these damn rollercoasters.

[friend4u178]

Time to go work out and get some frustration out.

I feel more anger than pain now but I feel like tomorrow I will be very very hurt. I hate these damn rollercoasters.

As long as you decide to keep riding the Roller Coaster your going to continue to have these ups and downs.

Might be a good time to get off at the next stop , we can only tell you why it's a bad ride but it's up to you to get off :cool: