[AngelinaBella]

I sometimes arrange a surprise spa visit for my Ex and he would go Don't do anything without telling me, I'm only going cause you've already paid it. Duh

[George_1950]

What a blockhead.

[MLB33]

Ok... update - Its about 6 on Sunday now. Day 14 of NC. My ex sent me a txt last night around 9 that said "How ya doing ____." The blank is a little nickname she used to always call me. I didn't respond. But now I have that sense of hope again. What is that anyway... how you doing? I wanted to say, oh fine pal how are you. Ya know? Just like a buddy would send or something. Should I send something back or do you think I should keep NC. Im 99.9% Im not sending anything back its just hard. What do you think?

[George_1950]

OK, it's 6:05 PM; don't discuss your relationship on the phone, that is the first thing I would say; if she's calling to ask you to meet her somewhere, OK. So she texts about how are you; don't know, dude; if you are up to it and expect absolutely nothing in return, text her back, 'Great, and you'. But no texting or phoning about your relationship.

[confused25]

I would text her back. I think if you ignore it you just ruin your chances. However, it was good that you waited to text her. Anyway, what I would do in your situation is text her back the following: "I'm doing good, how about you? How's everything going?" (I would avoid the word great).

She may or may not respond. My gut feeling tells me that she won't text you back but I'm hoping I'm wrong. Also, I agree with George that you shouldn't talk about the relationship over the phone or text. If she asks to talk, offer to meet up somewhere, maybe a coffee shop. After you text her please don't sit around waiting for a response. Like I said she may or may not respond, and if she does it might be something friendly like "I'm glad to hear that. I'm doing great." It's hard to say but just take it one step at a time and don't get your hopes up. Remember, hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

[MLB33]

Ok, update - Its day 14 of NC. Last night my ex text me "how ya doin ___" The blank is my little nickname she used to always call me. This sucks because it sets me back even though I didn't answer. I wanted to say "oh great how are you pal." Just like she's my best friend or something. I mean, I do want her back but there is going to have to be more there for that to happen I know that. But, should I sent a text back now or just ignore it all together?

[MLB33]

Sorry didn't mean to post that twice haha

[MLB33]

Ok my comp messed up and I just got your responses. I thought NC was NC. Im confused. Everybody always was saying not to answer or text back or whatever and now you think it may be a good idea? What if I text Im good back and she says OK good I was just wondering or something stupid like that

[MLB33]

Or, what if she says why didn't you text me back last night?

[confused25]

Well I'm not sure what other people's definition of NC are, but for me NC is after the break-up. YOU don't contact the person because it makes things worse. Now when, and if, SHE initiates the contact after the break-up that's when you talk to her, however only if you are emotionally ready to handle what might happen.

Think about it, if you want a chance at a relationship are you really just going to ignore her after she makes the attempt to contact you? More then likely she will respond with something stupid, if she does then at that point you don't text her back and you wait until she tries again (my opinion). If she says why didn't you text me back last night tell her you were busy and you didn't get the text until really late at night (again my opinion).

Look, right now she just might be checking up on you to see how your doing without her, or maybe she's ready to talk about the relationship. It's hard to say. Only way to find out is to text her back, but only do so if you are emotionally capable of handling whatever will happen.

[MLB33]

My computer is being retarded I can't see your post until I answer something. So... ignore this haha

[MLB33]

I did text her back, I said, "im doing good, how are you?" She sent back "pretty good what have you been doing?" I then said "Just staying busy. And trying to stay warm." And that's where we are now? Have I done the right thing so far?

[MLB33]

Then I said "you?"

[ISneezeFunny]

And where's that at right now?

[MLB33]

Then... she sent back "yep, I learned to build a fire. Its pretty." I said "I started to buy some wood the other day but I just decided to crank the heat up to 80." THen I sent another that said "I'm about to head back into town. Keep that fire under control. It was good to hear from you."

That was about 10 min ago haven't heard anything else. SHould I have something about NC because I was trying to move on

[George_1950]

MLB33 said: "SHould I have somethign about NC b/c I was trying to move on"? No, you did fine, in my book anyway.

[ISneezeFunny]

Nope. You played it cool. You told her how you're doing. Then you ended the conversation. You kept it short. Next time she wants to talk, she'll contact again. Good job.

You can exhale now.

[MLB33]

I mean, I do want her back but Im trying to do this whole act like I'm fine thing. She said she was "pretty good" don't know Im trying my hardest not to read into that. But if it doesn't work then I for sure don't want to be her friend. Which she said nothing about Im just saying. So... I just wondered if I would have said something about not wanting any contact with her because I was trying to move on if that would have effected her in any way and maybe struck a chord that made her think wow he's reallly moving on.

[ISneezeFunny]

Nope. You did just fine.

Don't read too much into PRETTY GOOD. You're fine.

[George_1950]

If you want to move on, use NC. If you are wanting to take her temperature, then you are still in the game, so to speak. I think I wouldn't concentrate so much about what is in her mind. Take control of yours and figure out how to 'smoke her out'.