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paxe · Oct 15, 2009, 07:21 PM

Nothing, as we said before take it slow. It's hard because you have to see her, just continue doing what you are doing.

Yea, I remember my high's and low's, they are hard to get by, but they get less and less painful. You said yourself, you are getting better.

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 07:42 PM

Yeah, this is so strange because all my anger turned into happiness. I am just finished work and I cannot be happier for some reason. I don't care what happened between us. I don't care that she might be with another man. I am happy and I am confident that I will make it. I know I will succeed.

I have know idea how this happened but I hope it stays for a bit. I FEEL GOOD!!

paxe · Oct 15, 2009, 07:53 PM

LOL, keep it up. I was a bit like you, but you have your channel your happiness and control so that you can feel happy all the time.

bswc · Oct 15, 2009, 10:35 PM

You got to enjoy when you're on the top of the roller coaster ride, it will be zooming to the pit anytime.

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 09:46 AM

Man, I cannot believe the up and down emotions. Here I am at my university job and I just saw her because she works there too. Now for some reason I feel sad and I have no idea why. I can here her giggle as she tutors a fellow student. She is beautiful and I miss her.

Well I guess the only thing is to roll with the emotions. This sucks.

talaniman · Oct 16, 2009, 10:39 AM

She seems to be happy whenever you see her.

Maybe you should seem happy whenever you see her. You can giggle too, can't you?

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 11:29 AM

So here is the conversation that went between the two of us. I came in to work as she was leaving and she approached me.

Her: Hi!
Me: Hey!
Her: How are you?
Me: Good.
Her: You smell good.
Me: Thanks
Her: Ok? (Commenting on the fact that I was not engaging in normal conversation)
Me: What?
Her: Nothing
From there she walked out without saying anything.

So, I feel like because after she left I felt like I should have engaged in a normal civil conversation. I did not do that and kept answers short. Did I screw up? Should I have been more engaged?

What does she want from me? Should I apologize?

amicon · Oct 16, 2009, 11:43 AM

No need to apologise-short and polite is all you need-its awkward for you-it would be a lot easier did you not have to see her as often as you do.

Imabadman · Oct 16, 2009, 11:44 AM

Why care? You're broken up. Try to remain unaffected and aloof.

Quit worring about how you should act, what to say or do. Just keep going on with your life.

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 11:53 AM

What does she want from me? Does she want to be friends? I don't know where we stand anymore. I don't know if I can loose her completely and have her leave my life completely.

Imabadman · Oct 16, 2009, 12:14 PM

You seem to like this endless pain eh?

amicon · Oct 16, 2009, 12:15 PM

That's your heart speaking,not your head.
You can't be friends,its much too soon after your breakup.
Plus you re going down confusion road by trying to guess her
Thoughts-not a good idea.
You know all this-you re really doing well so don't let her get to you.

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 12:42 PM

You are right. So I guess I handeled the situation well. This just sucks seeing her all the time. I think I would be over her much quicker if I didn't see her 3 times a week. Hopefully next semester things will be easier. But ona good note, I met another girl and her and I might hang out soon.

amicon · Oct 16, 2009, 12:45 PM

Yes-you could do with seeing less of her.
And enjoy making a new friend!

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by Imabadman

You seem to like this endless pain eh?

Well I am kind of forced into it by having the same classes as her and working at the same place.

I think I would be over her much quicker if I did not see her all the time. But I think I showed her today that I can't be there for her anymore. I felt really bad too. Life moves on. I have been enjoying meeting new people and having fun being alone.

talaniman · Oct 16, 2009, 03:23 PM

Talaniman Rule- When you can't disappear, short, brief, polite, but unavailable.

As you can see by your experience, and these forums, its not easy being an ex, when you have to see her a lot after a break up, especially if you have to see them, at work, school and socially. But you did well this time, and have to repeat this again, and again, and not worry about her reactions, or what she feels about it.

Thats what we did in grade school, and high school, wasn't it? That is until our interest got focused elsewhere.

friend4u178 · Oct 16, 2009, 03:44 PM

It's difficult when we have to see our Ex's through work, school , socially etc.

But the best thing you can do is just be cordial , pleasant and make it short and sweet as if your just going about your business. It's awkward for her too remember so you can make it easier for the both of you if you follow these rules. She'll see you in a much better light then and you get to keep your dignity.

A4Effort · Oct 16, 2009, 08:22 PM

I just feel like she wants she wants to be friends. I do not want to be friends with her because I will hurt every time I find something out about her. The less I know about her the better off I am.

paxe · Oct 16, 2009, 08:26 PM

Yes, keep it that way. It never works without consequences the friend thing.

Imabadman · Oct 16, 2009, 11:53 PM

You know she's more than likely feeling the same anxiety as you. Like I suggested... stay calm, try to remain unaffected. Be cordial but don't blabber... A quick "Hey, how's it going?" evade the small talk about family and what's going on in your life and then, "Yeah… take care, buh bye." You're done. That's it. You were friendly, unaffected by her, and you were cordial. Leave her thinking about what YOUR THINKING.

Now walk around to a secluded place and high five yourself.