[beth911]

I mean where would he even get an idea like he said in that e-mail unless I don't look good enough for him... but I'm sorry to say, I'm starting to think that he is ugly. Mainly because of what he is doing with his hair. And I don't know why I do want him because truth is: he isn't good enough for me.

[Wondergirl]

Ignore him no matter what he says. Or just say ONLY "ok" over and over each time he says something.

[beth911]

Ok. Lol. I'll try it.

[Wondergirl]

Then smile brightly and, as you walk away, say, "Catch you some other time."

[beth911]

OK

[beth911]

He wasn't at school and he called me today but before I could think to ignore him, I answered it... he just sounded like he hates me so much and I just told him I was busy and then he had an attitude so I hung up really fast. I almost e-mailed him but I stopped myself.
I don't know I'm just so worried.

[Wondergirl]

Ignore him.

[beth911]

Well, what do I do when I need to tell someone that my uncle got shot to death last night, and I have no one to go to?Not that he would care.

[Wondergirl]

Did your uncle get shot to death last night?

You've written everyone out of your life. If they don't care, it's because you have slammed the door in their faces.

[Wondergirl]

I just read your other post. I'm sorry about your uncle, but since you didn't even know him and don't know your aunt and cousins, how can you feel much of anything? They are like strangers. How did he get killed?

[beth911]

Do you want me to send you the aritcle?
It leaves out a few things.
First they thought it might have been gang related. Because he used to be into all that and everything. But it was just the one guy. My uncle owed him money and never paid him back.
I seen in the paper yesterday that a car was set on fire on their street and I wondered if it was thrie house but I didn't think much of it. I just thought ' now they're setting cars on fire instead of busting out windows"
The day before that he was beat. And yesterday he was killed.

[beth911]

O and when the guy shot him, afterwards he just kind of looked at him, cocked his head, turned around and walked away.
I think they arrested him today.
I'm just afraid now. Ive always been really paranoid that any second someone's going to shoot me. Like now even. Always. Now I see how common it really is. Escpecially where I live. It happens all the time around here. Just last year their was a shooting next door to them. My dad told them when they moved their that it was a bad area... they figured if they just mind their own business it would be okay.

[Wondergirl]

Why would anyone shoot you? It sounds like your uncle was in trouble for a long time and made a few enemies. How many women and girls have been shot during the past five years?

[beth911]

I don't know. I just always have that fear. Its constant. Any little sound will make me freeze.
I have a lot of enimies... I can't walk any where without them trying to start a fight... or getting in one. And I never start it.

[Wondergirl]

Why do you have a lot of enemies?

[beth911]

I don't know. A lot of reasons. Some people just don't like me for reasons I'm unsure of. Then Iv'e threatened a lot of people and say things to peoples face. Usually I'm pretty quiet though. I'm like the queit bully with no friends. I get into an argument with someone and 2- 3 years later don't let them ever see the end of it still.

[Wondergirl]

That's not healthy.

[beth911]

Yeah, but I need to get some sleep. I'm so tired. I think feeling paranoid is the only feeling I have left though because I've lost so much sleep lately... I don't know I'm tired until I fall asleep. I never feel myself being tired or hungry. I can't cry anymore or laugh sometimes. When I do laugh though, I can never stop.

[Wondergirl]

Then go to bed. Sleep well.

[beth911]

PLEASE HELP ME ASAP
What can I do now?
Iv'e been thinking about getting my hair cut. He wanted me to let it grow out BUT... I can't stand it being so long and I talked to him on the phone today... This is all so confusing... He seemed to really want to quit talking. First he said he wants to go do what he wants to do and he doesn't care about me anymore and then he said something about going some place with one of his friends this weekend... More than likely he was talking about a strip club. He kept telling me that it isn't right for me to be with him because he's not fair like that and that MAYBE if I let him do what he wants but let him boss me around he MIGHT talk to me but even then he might leave...
Eventually he said, he'll talk to me when I get my hair cut, lose about 30 pounds, change everything about how I look and act, have more of the same interests as him, let him tell me what I can and can't do, and talk to him more, and get my license... then he'll care about me... he might not do things I don't want him doing.
But I don't think its right for me to do those things for him. But that's how he is. He thinks everyone should be like that to him. And I don't want to get my hair cut now because he might think that I did it for him. When really I've be4en wanting to a while now.
I'm confused. I need to know exactly what to do now . And what is more than likely going on.
Also, he said that he got rid of his e-mail address all together so I can only talk to him in person at school, unless he calls me.
He doesn't want to talk to me but then he gets mad when I ignore him.
It so twisted and confusing,
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Where do I go from here?
He even told me that he doesn't care if I find someone else and I have been thinking about it but I still want to try to work things out with him and I don't think its right for him to not like me for me like that.