[one_life]

Things have taken a drastic change for my ex. The guy she was seeing at work turned into psychopath. Appearently she wanted to break it off with him and he wouldn't hear of it. I had no idea about all of this, because I was ignoring her at work. I came to know only when the guy approched me at work and made some comments about the ex. Then I get a call later on from the ex asking me not give out any personal info about her to this guy. I tell her that I wouldn't give out anything out to this guy, and how could she even think I'd do that. I also told her to leave me out of their problems.

That is when she starts to appoligize (crying) and tells me how this guy is making death threats towards her and harassing her through phone calls and text messages and also threating to show up at her home. That is when I tell her she should call the police and report him, but she says she'll first make a comlpliant at work. I tell her to do what she thinks is right.

Because of the holidays the HR dept was closed so she could not complain to them, but she did tell her supervisors.

Appreantly the guy is so pariniod that he thinks she is breaking up with him because of me.

He threatened to kill me at work because I told him to leave her alone. He wanted to fight me. The dumb thing is that he did in front of the supervisers at work. Well there is an on going investigation at work right now. He is been suspended in the mean while, I guess he'll be terminated soon. It is no big deal to me, because I've been threatened before many times, but it is causing a lot of grief for the ex, I see it in her eyes, even though she tells me she is OK.

I think she used me as an excuse to break up with him. He just got crazier.

PS. All the threats are real towards her, she is not faking it. I'm feeling sorry for her.
This an update.

[jeffatl]

Damn bro, sorry to hear that. I think you are going about it the right way though, big ups to you! Where are you located? I got your back!! In in Atlanta buddy, hahahahahaha. Good luck with all of this, seriously, way to handle this like a real adult!:cool:

[momincali]

one_life, just read your latest post here. That was a pretty unexpected turn of events, actually pretty scary. If this guy is truly a nut, I would HIGHLY recommend that you begin looking for a new job as quickly as you can. I know you said you've been threatened many times before, but it only takes one guy to lose control and decide he wants to really hurt you. These people are unreasonable and once they crack they are capable of creating chaos and causing damage beyond repair. When your ex goes to HR to report this guy, it is going to make him pretty mad and being fired isn't going to stop him from coming after her or you for that matter.

I think you were right about her maybe using you as an excuse to dump him, but that just goes to show you she hasn't changed. She's willing to let this guy wreak havoc on you to get rid of him. Not cool. I would keep as much distance as possible from her if I were you. She got herself into this mess because she was playing games with the both of you, let her get herself out of it. If she comes crying to you again, tell her you aren't the police or HR and there's nothing you can or will do about it. Please look out for yourself.

[Chery]

Babe, as hard as it seems, I agree with momincali. The fact that this young lady used you to get rid of him, and before that, used him to get your reaction shows that she's still only thinking about herself and wants that 'knight in shining armor'. She needs to take matters into her own hands and stop playing the 'poor little me' bit.
You did the right thing advising her to go through the proper officials and to the police. If she comes to you again, suggest she move to another place to live, but that's as far as your 'obligations' should go, except for maybe suggesting she see a therapist. Don't be her 'crutch' or you'll wind up going back to where we started and I don't think you want that. You have a big heart, but that also leaves you open for more pain, so first and foremost you must think of your stability. Don't go through any guilt trip - you've gone through enough. Good luck and have a peaceful and healthy New Year!

[Wildcat21]

Yeah dude you handled this the right way. Hopeflly she LEARNS something from this and that she is WAY better off with a Good Guy like you.

You should help her out as a guy like this is dangerous in the work place. I would separately go to the HR department and advise on what happened - ONLY IF your company does not have a policy or highly frown on inner-company dating. You need documentation that he threatened you - and with her documentation your company will see he is a loose cananon. Goingto the police would be a good step on this guy as you need to document that.

LIKE I ALWAYS SAY - don't dip your pen in the company ink. 80% of the time it turns out bad.

This other guy needs to learn from it as well.

What a freak with a guy saying no to a gal. This a big sickness.

[one_life]

WOW, I can't believe my eyes. Wildcat suggesting that I help out my ex. Are you feeling OK? Lol.

Anyway, being serious and all, thanks for all the advises, to all of you.

I'll keep you guys updated

[Wildcat21]

In this case - yes. Now you see the perils of work romance.

Hopefully she has learned something BIG here.

[Wildcat21]

Oh and Dude - if you still feel this gal is worthy (make sure on this) - it would be your time to SHINE!!

If not, then maybe you have lkearned something as well.

[Wildcat21]

So what happened Dude??

[one_life]

The guy beens fired from work. He's been terminated.

Well, what can I say. The ex and I are talking now. I took her to the movies the other night. We spend more time together at work. I guess she truly sees that even after all she did to me, I still stood up for her. At this point I'm enjoying her company. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe there is a chance for us. Only time will tell.

Any suggestions?