[Romefalls19]

Yea, I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that NC is for me to heal, and that my ex isn't going to call and cry for me to take her back. It's a harsh reality that is hitting me. I still wish she would call, but I know it's not going to happen. So I'm just going to continue with NC and just hope the pain goes away quickly. As weird as it sounds, I wish she would get another guy this way I could write her off, but then again I don't want her to get another guy. I know it's strange but hey, what else can I do

[ihatewestseneca]

It gets a lot better, give yourself a couple weeks... Sure you'll still think about her, but not as much as you think you will, or as much as you do now. Make plans that benefit you and nobody else, when you think about where you'll be in the future, it should really make you happy. Doesn't matter if you're with someone or not... being single isn't that bad as far as I'm concerned now. @ Romefalls... my ex has a new guy, it doesn't make it easier at all, especially because she's an idiot and thinks she's in love with him after like 3 weeks... but yeah, kind of woke me up on how immature she is because she can't tell love and infatuation apart. NC works wonders, heed my advice and don't ever try and go snooping... I did it, more pain and confusion, and I felt bad about doing it. Just hang in there, things do get better, I know.

[Romefalls19]

Yea, I don't try snooping anymore. I did when the break up first happened but it only gave me more heartache to see she was already requesting all these guys on myspace. So now I don't snoop and could careless. She looks at my myspace a lot and tries to get friends to talk to me asking how I am. This was her decision, if she wants to call she can make the call because I'm not. This time I'm thinking of myself and my well being

[ISneezeFunny]

Unfortunately, my ex did one up. She sort of snoops... asks my friends how I'm doing and such. However, she e-mailed me to say that she's sorry and her last line is...

I hope we can be friends. I'll leave you alone until you're ready to talk to me.

... ball in my court eh? Two can play at that game.

[freakinconfused]

Yep, you got to stay away from the grapevine because it will cause more heartache - however, the grapevine in a weird way is what gave me the strength to stop trying to figure out what went wrong and just give it up for loss. I my case my ex acted like she wanted to get back together for about a month. I tried and wanted to work at it, but she suddenly stopped talking to me after Christmas. I would have thought it was kind of weird and wondered why, but through my own means I found out that she was interested in someone else and sleeping with him already (and the words were straight from her mouth). And that was 2 days after Christmas. After that I simply quit talking to her, and she made no effort to contact me either. That went on for about 10 days, then she called me. We talked for about 10 minutes about random, pointless things, and then I decided I had enough and got off the phone. She never brought up that she was seeing someone else, and so she still doesn't know I know about it.


Bad thing about the grapevine though, is that it makes you want to contact your ex, and then you end up breaking NC and have to start over. After my ex called, I didn't talk to her again for about a week, and then I sent her a text (one of my friends egged me on to do it because she thinks I was too cold to my ex when she was trying to get me back, and insisted that my ex might be thinking I didn't want her back, when I did) so I texted. She responded and we sent a couple of messages back and forth. I sent the last one and she never responded. The next day I decided to give her a call and she didn't answer or ever return my call. OOPS. That was a day ago, and now I'm back to square one, but it at least reaffirmed my conclusion that she is simply not interested in me any longer and has moved on wth someone else. The lesson - spying on your ex and trying to find things out about them is only going to make things worse and make it harder to move on, but in some cases it's information you need to know so that you can get so pissed off that you have the strength to move on. Crappy thing about all this stuff though is just how fast it can happen. I mean, in the space of about a month my ex just totally pulled a 180 and stopped wanting to get back with me, and instead went with someone else. Makes me realize that she was just keeping me on the back burner until she found someone else...

What I also hate is that it's like, OK for her to contact me because she dumped me, but it's not OK for me to contact her because then I come across as weak and needy, and just push her away even more. Lame.

[Maggie83]

What I can't understand is why my ex added me on Facebook when she did the dumping and said no when I asked her back, she's asked me to be friends and I said no for the third time today... if she doesn't want me, or anything to do with me then why snoop at all?

[Romefalls19]

Yea... how about this one guys... My ex's friend who wants to be mutual during all this.. IMs me because her and her boyfriend had broken up and I am friends with both of them. And she just happens to tell me that my ex(brianna) doesn't have feelings for anyone else, and she just hangs out with friends. What the deuce! This makes it so much harder to do NC

[George_1950]

I think what is happening is these girls are all talking with each other, sharing their war stories, and what idiots their bf's are, and how they are being victimized. They are playing a deceitful game and the guys are yo-yo's. Females who want to be with you do not flirt with 'poor me' lines and roles. In other words, they are toying with you, and NC means NC. Just my opinion, fellows.

[Maggie83]

I agree 100%

I can't stop my ex from getting in touch. This is the third time I've told her I won't be friends but she just won't stop

I asked her back in December she sadi no so I said don't bother me I won't bother you, next thing a chain text at new year, Tuesday adds me on Facebook, today see her on the train (can do nothing about that) and she texts me, I hope eventually we can be friends... so I said no please don't contact me. I can't make it any plainer than that. What's her problem?

[Romefalls19]

Yea, I told my ex I can't do friends. I can't see myself listening to her talking about a new guy or having all my feelings get brought back up. It's just not in the cards, I mean I wish her well, but can't be friends

[chris08]

I still find myself snooping too. It'll stop one day no doubt. I had to ask my ex why she left me and then a month later is secretly seeing one of my so-called mates, n then getting together. Her response was "i dont know. we just got talking." I had to ask how could you do that to me? And she didn't know what to say. I asked if she still loved me or had feelings for me but as you'll probably guess, I was left dissapointed and upset.

Hey that's life.
What can you do?

[freakinconfused]

Yeah, it basically just sucks, but I guess we all just got to pick up the pieces and move on - as hard and impossible as that feels like. Only thing you can find any peace in is that, one day, it's bound to happen to them as well. I'm not really a huge believer in karma or anything, but I do believe what comes around goes around, and things happen for a reason.

With my ex - she only had one boyfriend before me, who she dumped when she got tired of him. Then she dumped me when she got tired of me I guess. Well sooner or later someone will get tired of her @$$ and do the same thing, and then she'll be the one to feel the way we all feel right now. Hopefully by then I'll have found someone new who appreciates me better.

It really bugs me though that it seems like after dumping me, her life is great. She didn't have to move, still has her same job and all of her friends, and a new guy just fell into her lap like that. I, on the other hand, got dumped, had to move out, had to change my job location, and had to start over with a new group of friends. I can't for the life of me find a single girl that I like anywhere either. Found at least 3 girls I'm interested in, but then I find out they have boyfriends - ugh. So yeah, I'm pretty much about as low as I can go right now, while she seems to be on Cloud 9. It's all good though, my luck is bound to turn around sooner or later - as will hers.

[MLB33]

Got a question for you. To make a long story short we were in an argument... I don't know, 6 or so months ago. And when we were making up I told that our relationship wasn't like we were trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. She just smile said yeah and gave me a hug.

So here's what Im thinking. Maybe next week I don't even know if I'm going to or not but anyway, I was going to get some sort of wooden square peg and hammer it into a round hole that would be cut out of another piece of wood. I mean, just like a samll 2x4 with a hole cut in it and a square peg put through the hole. I hope you're getting what Im saying. I was just going to leave it on her porch. Going back and forth whether I should just leave that or a little note that said something like "It fits, just took a little work" or "Look, it will fit, and now that it does fit its even harder to get out then the ones that are in the right spots." I don't know I might not do anything at all. What do you think? It will be 14 days of NC on Sunday and also 14 days since she broke up with me. Haven't talked to her since that day.

Please give me an opinion and not just... thats stupid it will set you back. I mean, if that's what you think then that's what you think I just want to know

[ISneezeFunny]

Mlb... that's stupid and it will set you back. There.

You're doing everything you can to get through to this girl... so technically, you're not really doing nc. Really.

Nc means... nc. Really. Leaving stuff on her porch... what is that going to do?

1. she has no clue what the hell it is... and trashes it.

2. she figures it out (maybe) and then what? It's not like she's going to say OH, HE'S SO RIGHT! ALL IT TAKES IS WORK!! I DO WANT HIM BACK!

... not going to happen buddy. You want her to realize she made a mistake. We all do. But... it'll only happen when SHE thinks of it.

[MLB33]

Haha hell buddy. I didn't say I was going to I just said I thought about it. And you know, the hardest thing about this is that like you said "im doing all I can do." I know it and you know it, all I can do is nothing. I've not called her one time had any form of contact since she gave me the space line. I think I'm doing pretty freakin good here. I just don't feel like Im trying. I KNOW ITS FOR MYSELF. I KNOW

[MLB33]

Ya know, some relationships do work out. And I know you know that. But it seems that almost none ever come back to say something worked out on here. And the absolute only option you give anybody is NC. Granted, it may be the best one, but nonetheless. Is it the only one out there? I mean, why is trying to get through to her so terribly wrong. I know what you mean by "setting me back" but... geez, is there no other way

[ISneezeFunny]

Actually, I'm sure some people's stories work out... it's just that once they work out... they don't need the forum anymore. So they're gone.

[George_1950]

MLB33: it's because you are hurting and need to get better. You've gone too far and gotten out of balance. That's just my opinion, though. If you are wanting to get walked all over and ground to bits, then NC ain't for you; you may need to start calling her up and texting and begging and just leave your personal worth and dignity in the closet. It sort of gets to whether you've hit bottom. Just my opinion.

[George_1950]

actually, i'm sure some people's stories work out...it's just that once they work out...they don't need the forum anymore. so they're gone.

Sorry, I don't buy this; if it happened they would be back, believe me.

[MLB33]

Finally, thanks george. Don't worry thought, Im not going to run back and beg or anything of that nature. I don't even know if Im going to contact her. I understand the set them free thing... I just don't feel like Im doing anything to help the situation. Maybe its over, yeah who knows. But sitting here, not literally, but doing nothing I should say, may not be the answer either that's all I was saying