Check out some similar questions!

A4Effort · Oct 12, 2009, 07:05 AM

I am glad that you understand how I feel and I also appreciate a college females perspective on this too. I just need time pass so it can heal my wounds. Every day some piece of me heals a little. With every girl I meet I become more comfortable with being single.

It is just weird because my entire life I had this fairy tale in my mind where I would meet the girl of my dreams and eventually we would marry. I met her but it did not turn out into a happily ever after story.

kctiger · Oct 12, 2009, 07:07 AM

You also should understand we all have that fairy tale mentality. Just because this one didn't work out doesn't mean it is all gloom and doom. Good thing about dreams is they don't become impossible until we stop believing.

I have met more than my fair share of dream girls... one of which I was certain would be my wife one day. That clearly didn't work out. That doesn't mean there isn't someone better out there for me.

paxe · Oct 12, 2009, 09:28 AM

It's true what KC said, it's important not to focus on the ladies (or the boys) and live our life. Life should not be about finding the right person, it seems people are too focused on being in a couple. Don't forget you will have a lot of break up before you find the right one.

A4Effort · Oct 12, 2009, 10:11 AM

Yeah, you two are right. I never focused so much attention on it before until I met her. Before it was all about succeeding in my education. But once I met her it was a whole new experience and I decided to invest a lot of time into this new way of life. Now that it is gone I need to revert back to the old days and make myself #1 priority again.

It is just so strange though how she made me believe that her and I would last forever. She always used to tell me how I was the one for her. I was the one that made her complete. I was the one who she saw marrying one day. I was the one who she was most compatible with. I was this and that... etc... It is sad that she came back the first time around and lied to me about being committed to me and telling me that she will not have the same feelings again. I asked her and made it clear the first time around that if she needed time to explore that she should have taken it then. I asked a billion of times: "If you come back to me will you not question yourself/our relationship?" "If another guy walks by that you are attracted to will you not regret having stayed with me?" Yes, yes, yes!! I won't regret. Blah blah blah... So what does she do? After spending an entire summer together, working on our previous problems, and having a great time together, she decides to have those feelings again. It pisses me off! Why did she lie to me in the first place and why was I so dumb to believe her?

paxe · Oct 12, 2009, 10:19 AM

Me and my ex was supposed to get married right before she broke up with me, it was her idea :). You are young, very young explore while you are ahead. What does it help you to know the answers to these questions? There is a huge difference between a girls talk and what they do. Read their action, not their words.

A4Effort · Oct 12, 2009, 07:00 PM

To tell you the truth, I really think that I am getting better. Each day, I think less and less of her but that doesn't mean that I am not thinking of her a lot. I am continuously meeting new people and making new friends. I have no problems socializing and meeting new people. I also enjoy getting looks from girls every time I walk around campus because I dress well. I never noticed before. Things are looking up slowly but surely. I still have the pain in my heart about having lost my ex but I feel OK with it. Its not the end of the world anymore. But I do miss being in a relationship.

paxe · Oct 12, 2009, 07:56 PM

Well there you go. Same thing for me, I also enjoy getting looks from girls, especially when I dress well but I generally look good though. Even though you miss the relationship part, you have to learn to be completely and fully happy and not wanting a relationship, before you look for one or that one comes to you.

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 06:25 AM

Well I have no idea why this happened but I ended up dreaming about her all night which I usually don't. I dislike Tuesdays and Thursdays now because it means that I have to see her in my classes. I always build up over the weekend because I don't see her for about 4 days and then comes the day I have class with her. I have two classes with her and I am fine in one but in the other there is that guy who keeps flirting with her. One thing that surprised me a lot is once I talked to her (roughly 2 weeks ago) about him and she told me how she knew he while we were dating. She told me how she always found him interesting. I was really pissed off inside because I thought to myself how she was picking out guys while we were together and was just waiting to break up so she could pursue those guys. But like last time. I will sit in front of the class, engage in class discussions, and look nonchalant if front of her even though I will probably be tearing myself apart inside.

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 08:08 AM

So this was very odd. I was working in my psych lab and my ex walked in. She works close by in another lab. She engaged in a conversation and asked me how my weekend was. She asked what I did and then she proceeded to talk about her weekend. I felt very strange because she never approached me before like this. As she left she put her hand on my shoulder and told me to have a good day. I was very confused as to why she did that. I couldn't tell her that I didn't want to talk to her because there were others in the room. Has she moved on and is trying to make a friendship? Is she just trying to hurt me more? Why did she do that? I don't feel well now having talked to her and I have a class with her in an hour where that guy will most likely flirt with her.

white-rose · Oct 13, 2009, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by A4Effort

So this was very odd. I was working in my psych lab and my ex walked in. She works close by in another lab. She engaged in a conversation and asked me how my weekend was. She asked what I did and then she proceeded to talk about her weekend. I felt very strange because she never approached me before like this. As she left she put her hand on my shoulder and told me to have a good day. I was very confused as to why she did that. I couldn't tell her that I didn't want to talk to her because there were others in the room. Has she moved on and is trying to make a friendship? Is she just trying to hurt me more? Why did she do that? I don't feel well now having talked to her and I have a class with her in an hour where that guy will most likely flirt with her.

Maybe she was just trying to be friendly, or she could be screwing you around. I'm not sure what her purpose was of doing that because nobody here knows her disposition like you do. The vibe that I get from her is she wants her cake and to eat it too. It seems almost like after a period of her freedom with other guys, she thinks she can just come back to you, and everything should be okay, like you shouldn't care. I just believe that she seems insensitive, if she knew you well which I'm sure she does, she would know that you are extremely upset and hurt inside. If she will flirt with other guys around you and honestly not care, what does that say about her? Sorry A4Effort Im constantly replying to your posts but I have a lot of opinons! Haha :p

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 10:12 AM

No I appreciate your opinions very much. I don't know why she is doing that. But here I am in class and I can here her and her "friend" talk a out how they want to gt together and study. She already has his number and probably hung out with him. Having her come in earlier and now hearing this makes me feel so great! Hearing them talk makes me hurt and pissed off at the same time. Why does she screw with me? I hate seeing her now because I immdiatly loose anything that I have built up.

amicon · Oct 13, 2009, 10:20 AM

That's not very sensitive of your ex I agree with previous poster.
And you have to attend that class I guess?
Grin and bear it is all you can do though-tough as that is.
Maybe this will help you knock her of the pedestal?

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 10:28 AM

Yes, I dread every time I have to be in this class. I am minding my own business and I am acting like nothing is happening. I can't wait until I feel better. This does show me that she is not the goddess that I thought she was. I hate this day!

amicon · Oct 13, 2009, 10:40 AM

Its progress when we can start looking at the exes and realise that they weren't Miss or Mister Perfect.
And you re doing a good job keeping your dignity intact by not losing your cool.

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 11:06 AM

I am flipping out inside. I don't know what to do with myself. I have this fake smile on my face but I am clawing my insides. Every time this happens my anxiety that I once had comes back. Staying strong is so difficult right now.

kctiger · Oct 13, 2009, 11:08 AM

You know what, screw her! Seriously. Tough love is coming A4... DO NOT give her the satisfaction of your anger! You stay strong for yourself and the hell with her. It sucks but you'll get through this.

amicon · Oct 13, 2009, 11:10 AM

Hang in there -you can do it.

A4Effort · Oct 13, 2009, 03:03 PM

I stood strong. I did not let me see me in the state that I was in. I left the class and went to my next one which I have with her too. The only difference here is that I am one of 3 guys in that class so no flirting happening there. As I came in she asked me how I was doing. I told her calm mannered that I was fine and left to sit down in my spot. The whole time during class she kept on looking at me discretly but I did not give her the chance to make eye contact with me. I paid attention to the class and walked away after it was done. I can't believe what she did to me and I can definitely see her ugly side. This is helping me get over her much easier.

I just wish I could go up to her and tell her how I feel. I am not the one to ever get angry at anyone. I am very calm mannered but I just want to tell her off. But I won't because I know it would only feed her.

amicon · Oct 13, 2009, 03:54 PM

Just stand tall and strong-you don't need this.

bswc · Oct 13, 2009, 06:50 PM

A4, this falls under over-analysing her acts. Doesn't matter whether she's just being polite, friendly, or acting like a drama queen, you don't wan that to bother you at all! First we act like we don't care, it's a good first step, the next step is to just DON'T CARE. Stay strong !