[mckenzie134]

Cut all contact if she calls don't answer. Only time willheal and adventuallyyou wontget over it but you will learn to live with it.

Whatever youdo Don't meet up don't do anything. She will contact you againits only been 7 days. Talking to her for a week that was a boig mistake...

Learn one thing mate she gets all of you or none of you!!

She is eitheryour girlfriend and gets to be part of your life or gets nothing you dontneed to explain this to her but if she contacts wantingto meet up you don't just send her amsg you get all are nothing and leave it at that and never contac her again...

Its hard but it straight she is your girlfriend or not! Don't let them trhow you the friends card... Play it straigfht its eitheronoroff.

[tiodaat]

Cut all contact if she calls dont answer. Only time willheal and adventuallyyou wontget over it but you will learn to live with it.

Whatever youdo Dont meet up dont do anything. She will contact you againits only been 7 days. Talking to her for a week that was a boig mistake...

Learn one thing mate she gets all of you or none of you!!!

She is eitheryour gf and gets to be part of your life or gets nothing you dontneed to explain this to her but if she contacts wantingto meet up you dont just send her amsg you get all r nothing and leave it at that and never contac her again....

Its hard but it straight she is your gf or not!! Dont let them trhow you the friends card.... Play it straigfht its eitheronoroff.

Thanks for your reply, mac.

[Ash123]

That's OK. You're only human.

Just start over.

90 days - starting now. For real..

And get some girls as surrogates GF's: Just Friends... so you don't feel starved.

Then one day between now and then WHAM - new tiodaat!

Watch out ladies!

[BMI]

I hear it, what I love about this site is that you find soooooo many people going through the same thing. I have mentioned it to death in other posts but I too am kind of where your at save the contact. My ex-girl and me split 3 months ago and I last spoke to her 2 months ago and ithurst like hell.

I think your right about the re-caontact, I guess we WANT to speak to them to not feel lonely, but ultimately we would like to know we are missed, that we meant something to them and there not just over us and on to another person. That's what makes me want to call her, well that... aaaandd... other stuff... but still ,mostly that.

Many people said DON'T CALL, CUT ALL CONTACT, I have and it still hurts, but you just got to do it and trust that time will heal this. I feel better, slow but steady progress, but I do know exactly how you feel when you say when you think about her it can change your mood, one minute I couldn't care less and the very next I'm sad and depressed. I hope this helps a bit cause I sympathize with these situations, almost as if we do feel like we will never get that someone again... I like to think we all will:)

[SAB123]

First thing is to NEVER take her calls. I contacted her 2 months into breakup. That was my first mistake, went rite back to square one. My second mistake was a week later asking her I still wanted us to be married, hurt like hell when she said NO. I e-mailed her twice in 4.5 months that's was it. When you are in contact with a person or see that person all the time you do not heal. So stay NC and stay busy, in time that love will fade. I don't even know if I love my ex anymore.

[BMI]

LOL... SAB your last comment was funny. Just that I am sooo glad you are at that stage where it appears you are getting much better over time, but the funny part is that its odd we would feel happy about falling out of love, but in this case it is so true. Like "I'm soooooo happy, i'm finally not in love" LOL

[DownLookingUp]

I know how it feels I have been there... just think about this...
How long have you been with her? Has she been out partying and having fun with other guys while your down on yourself and feeling bad?. is she worth it? Worth another chance? Another heartach?

The logical thing is to cut and find yourself someone somewhere... anyone.. any girl for short time fun if you can't find something for long (make sure she is looking for short time fun as well or that would be just crule and mean to her)... hang out have fun... take her off your mind.

But I do know the heart has a weird twist of logic to its own... just carful my friend...

Best of luck to you.

[SAB123]

Now that you mention it that is funny... lol. I know you are 3 months in and I am 6 months in. When you get to your 6th months it's not as bad. I still have very, very bad days but the are far in between now. I still hurt sometime not because I miss her I think it's the way she treated me and used me. But I can look back and remember my 3rd month in, I was soooo hurt and was still crying at that point. I'm just glad I healed to a point now where if she does come back I can tell her to get lost.

[BMI]

Would'nt that be nice, makes me feel good just visualizing that:)

[SAB123]

Would'nt that be nice, makes me feel good just visualizing that:)

Trust me it will come In the 3rd month in despite what people were telling me here and at home I would have still taking her back. But once I let go that when it got eiser. The 5 month in the dust started settling, then bingo all these red flags of things she did and espically said started popping up. I feel stupid for ever taking her back the other 6 times... lol

[Ash123]

How long did you date?

Can determine timetable... and to some degree your age...

Standing by:

[SAB123]

how long did you date?

can determine timetable...and to some degree your age...

standing by:

He said on another question he posted a little over 4 month's and never got his age.

[tiodaat]

how long did you date?

can determine timetable...and to some degree your age...

standing by:

We dated for ~5 months.

We are both 24 years old.

[SAB123]

I think it's 2 months for every year to get over some one but, I also believe if your still in contact with them or how bad the relationship ended are big facters too.

[Ash123]

OK, you are a prime candidate for total NC pay off...

In no longer than 5 months - I'd say 3... at your age and type of situ -
If you do 100% NC you will be good.

Let me know.

A calendar to mark the days with adjectives is a good one... let's you see your progress - if you want - then toss it one day :-)

[SAB123]

ok, you are a prime candidate for total NC pay off....

in no longer than 5 months - i'd say 3....at your age and type of situ -
if you do 100% NC you will be good.

let me know.

a calendar to mark the days with adjectives is a good one...let's you see your progress - if you want - then toss it one day :-)

Does your age play a huge in getting over someone,and what would the time frame be for almost 5 years and my age is 35

[Ash123]

Well, you are of an age when you are more likely to be seeking a lifemate -
So, you may have more vested in the relationship.

Also, 5 years would require (in loose unofficial math) about 10-12 months...

The good news is if you go to NC you will feel a little better every couple months -and hold it... (it restarts each time you break it) until you are DONE: (You can see your ex/hear of your ex - with someone else and yawn... )

It doesn't happen all at once... until one day - boom - it happens...

[BMI]

I'm sooooooo looking forward to the BOOM>... LOL

[tiodaat]

Hello everyone,

I think I have finally come to terms with what likely led to my ex girlfriend breaking up with me some two months ago. Although I guess there is no way for me to know for sure if this was the impetus behind the breakup, I feel as if after a lot of reflection on the subject I finally have something positive that I can keep in mind in my future relationships.

My mistake was conflating the happiness and love I felt with my girlfriend with my overall outlook on life, and MY general happiness.

This is somewhat difficult for me to put into words, but essentially I believe that I lost sight of ME--my goals, my value, my independence--and associated all my positive feelings with my girlfriend.

Don't get me wrong--I worked out everyday, attended my grad school classes, hung out with my friends--but I think I had honestly convinced myself that it was my girlfriend, and not everything else in my life that I worked hard for and have going for me that was responsible for making me happy.

I put us in front of me, and this is my mistake.

I am not sure exactly how this was manifested in our relationship. I think I, and maybe not even overtly, put too much pressure on her for ensuring that I was happy. I think I spent too much time with her, although she would often want to see me more often than she did. I know I made her "number one" in my thoughts--the problem being, she remained number one at almost all times.

As I am healing up, I will try not to ever lose sight of me again. I've worked hard for a lot of things in my life, and I am an awesome catch for someone fortunate enough to be with me.

Don't make the same mistake that I did.

[LUK3Y]

Hey tiodaat that's what I am starting to realise with my situation.
I look back now and think the same to myself, perhaps if I gave more to myself at that time in my life it wouldn't be this way at the moment.
But hey we all learn from experiemce and that's what life is all about.
Learning and experience :) I understand 100% on this one.