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kctiger · Nov 12, 2008, 10:47 AM

I just screwed myself over by contacting my ex today. Believe me, it isn't worth it. It just opens up a wound that doesn't need to get any bigger!

wikedjuggalo · Nov 12, 2008, 12:48 PM

I though you jumped out his pocket a month ago? I guess he had a string attached to you.

He's testing the waters and you shouldn't respond to be honest. He's not wanting a relationship instead he wants that comfort zone back without the baggage.

I wouldn't talk to my ex for any reason tbh. Not worth my time and there is nothing to be said. Not a factor in my life.

h0llister · Nov 12, 2008, 01:43 PM

How do I tell him not to call or anything without completely hurting him, I wouldn't mind talking a few times a week, even if that. I am OK with the break up, I'm happier with him as a friend, and he feels the same, because we are both really focused on our career. Is it wrong to talk?

talaniman · Nov 12, 2008, 03:52 PM

is it wrong to talk?

Ask that question after you heal sufficiently to see some reality. I have heard every excuse in the world to try and get back together, and this is just another one. "We can be friends."

Like he says I love you hunny and stuff as we did when we were together. I dont no what to think of this, like do you think he's doing this because he misses a relationship or what. he does agree its best for us to stay single. but acted like a boyfriend.. what do you guys think?

One of you(or both) needs to let go and let each other go to stop confusion, and false hope.

You have the rest of your life to be friends, if that's what you want, but for now don't play games with each others feelings.

Protest all you want, but that's what your both doing. Not healthy, nor realistic.

friend4u178 · Nov 12, 2008, 06:24 PM

I think he's just testing you and seeing if he still has some power over your feelings.

By breaking NC your just stirring up feelings of False hope.

h0llister · Nov 12, 2008, 06:39 PM

Thank you everyone. I have told him I don't want to get back together and he agreed it was best as well.. so is it still wrong to talk?

wikedjuggalo · Nov 12, 2008, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by h0llister

thank you everyone. i have told him i dont wanna get back together and he agreed it was best aswell.. so is it still wrong to talk?

Depends can you keep past emotions in the past? I don't think your at that level yet. And she sure isn't by saying that L word.

h0llister · Nov 12, 2008, 06:44 PM

He says he believes we will get married later in life, but now we are both focuses on our career.. its like a friend with benefits (but not those find of benefits lol cause we are so far, but like talking and stuff.)

talaniman · Nov 12, 2008, 09:10 PM

So be friends get a career, get married, is that the plan?

h0llister · Nov 12, 2008, 11:56 PM

Mm I don't think so... I am not planning on that. But who knows the future.

h0llister · Nov 20, 2008, 10:52 PM

Hey as many of you know, my ex (long distance) and I broke up almost 2months ago.. about a week ago we started talking again and he was going to fly 2000 miles to come and fix things with me, I was so excited for it. But I thought we were moving to fast so I told him no (also I would get no time off work and I'm busy with church things). He agreed we were rushing things. But now we barely talk and I don't no its weird, I care but I also don't. I don't no how to feel. We still want to work on things but I know we wouldn't be able to see each other until the summer now. So should I cut him out of my life completely now, or still try to work on things, I like talking to him but I still feel like a girlfriend in someways. ( I don't want him to date other people , etc) but we aren't together. I'm so confused, I don't even know if this is a question somehow, but I don't no I needed to vent :( sorry .

ZoeMarie · Nov 20, 2008, 10:56 PM

From what I recall the breakup seemed like it was for good reason. He was busy with school, right? And you guys don't get to see each other much? Were you guys trying to do the no contact at all? It seems that's what always messes people up is breaking the no contact. How many years does he have left of school?

LifeChangesMan · Nov 20, 2008, 10:57 PM

Well... talking to him makes you feel at ease correct? So stick to contacting him casually nothing more try to stay out of bringing up the relationship talk of old or new, and wait to see each other until you have time for each other to give it a real shot if you truly want to try and give it another go. Hope this helps!

h0llister · Nov 20, 2008, 11:06 PM

He has 3more years and I have 2, but he told me he's going on vacation with his family to my country in the summer and his family invited for me to meet them as well. So like we talk good and stuff.. but what makes it hard, if we both lived close, our relationship would be amazing, we both know it.. so I guess we are waiting until we can be close to be in a relationship together

ZoeMarie · Nov 20, 2008, 11:10 PM

I see. Keep in mind a lot can change in 2-3 years. You might wait until you're both done with school to find that you are two totally different people and things won't work out the way you both hoped. Or you might get back together and it would be totally worth the wait. It's hard telling with situations like this. Just think though, if you wait those few years for him, you're missing out on meeting new people in the meantime.

h0llister · Nov 20, 2008, 11:15 PM

That's true.. I don't want to wait for him, but I do care. Its hard to know :S I'm so confused, ill just go day by day I suppose

h0llister · Nov 20, 2008, 11:18 PM

I just added a signature I want to see it.. lol

ZoeMarie · Nov 20, 2008, 11:23 PM

I remember seeing that top quote on here. It's so true.

Take things day by day though, like you said.

h0llister · Nov 20, 2008, 11:40 PM

its just every weekend I get worried he might hook up with some girl, like he has A lot of close friends that are girls, and I'm not worried about them, but random people. And I don't no how to deal with it :S

jmw0713 · Nov 21, 2008, 06:53 AM

This is time to NOT worry about him or what he is doing. You are no longer together. He should NOT be worrying about what your doing either. This is time to leave each other alone and experience life with out being with one another. Your in school, go to parties, meet up with friends and do stuff together. You only go through college/university once. HAVE FUN!

Just because he wants to fly 2000 miles to fix things... will it actually fix anything?

What happens when he goes back?

You will be right back where you left off... far away from him and missing him more.

Concentrate on school for now. Get through that first and THEN see where you two stand. Don't shutout other people you may meet either, you never know who you may meet.