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Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 08:42 AM

I think it's kind of rude for her to not even call me, it doesn't seem like her.

I had gone no contact for a little while when we first broke up, and when she called me one night and left half a dozen messages and then called me the next day and said "if you're not going to talk to me at least have the decency to let me know". Should I say something along those lines to her? I haven't called her since yesterday afternoon.

iAMfromHuntersBar · Jun 13, 2007, 08:46 AM

In your previous posts you said that she broke up with you because she feels she wants to grow as a person. If you already know this, why keep pressuring her?

At your age you should recognise a bad situation, this relationship is over, done, dusted, finished, dead. Why keep dragging your heart through this? You don't have long enough on this planet to sit there wallowing and licking your wounds.

If she rings you again, don't accept her calls. Delete her messages, delete her number.

Just walk away. Simple as that. WALK AWAY!

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 09:01 AM

You're right I've got to move on, but it's hard when you love someone so much. It doesn't make it any easier when she lives a mile from me.

Even if she does call me you're saying to not answer or call her back? I can't imagine that she would just end things this way.

huno · Jun 13, 2007, 10:39 AM

Well, imagine it--I think that you should just move on, cold turkey. Yes, it's rude of her, or perhaps she doesn't want you to think you have a fighting chance of getting back together; whatever the case may be, she's made her feelings clear: she's done and wants to move on.

Let her go. Don't try and tell her she's wrong or that she's rude or whatever: she will either become defensive or completely ignore you, which will just make you feel worse than before. It can't end well. So let her go out into the world and screw up on her own; then and only then will she figure things out... hopefully.

Jiser · Jun 13, 2007, 10:47 AM

My god man! Take the pill to a better life... No the ex back books don't work and are a waste of your money. However they may help you on a better way of life. Everything in those 'books' are on here and are free across the net.

The message everything, these books and everyone gives to you is "get a life without her!" o and where your happy 2 :)

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 10:50 AM

I know what'll happen, I'll move on and she'll come back - this is my life. Call it a gut feeling but I don't think this is how it ends for us. Does the dumpee's ego ever prevent them from wanting to reconcile.

Geoffersonairplane · Jun 13, 2007, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by Righthearted

I know what'll happen, I'll move on and she'll come back - this is my life. Call it a gut feeling but I don't think this is how it ends for us. Does the dumpee's ego ever prevent them from wanting to reconcile.

You are in the false hope stage.

This won't or at least should'nt last very long, a few months maybe.

Jiser · Jun 13, 2007, 10:53 AM

Yeh, false hope. Few months and ull be over it. Just keep on with your life, plan some trips away and get some good experiances in your life.

Don't be so ignorant either! Fck her and what she wants.. its you who's important, in twenty years will you be pining for her? Blimey I had people come and go from my life for many years so have you. Get used to it, its t he only constant, change!

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 10:56 AM

Don't they always come back just to torment you?

diya · Jun 13, 2007, 11:04 AM

The problem is, to keep that spark alive, there does need to be an element of challenge. If you give 100% of you to her then this makes you less interesting to her. She has you.

This I agree so very much with geoffersonairplane. Imagine yourself craving for something like let's say an ice cream,and then when you have, you have half of it and want to throw the rest away... u feel your appetite is done with.Same way here... the girl realized she has you... and left you right there. Don't worry, it happens... learn and make no mistake like this next time. Keep your cards close to your heart. Baring your emotions can be fatal... sometimes though..

Geoffersonairplane · Jun 13, 2007, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by diya

The problem is, to keep that spark alive, there does need to be an element of challenge. If you give 100% of you to her then this makes you less interesting to her. She has you.

This I agree so very much with geoffersonairplane. Imagine urself craving for something like let's say an ice cream,and then when you have, u have half of it and want to throw the rest away....u feel your appetite is done with.Same way here...the girl realized she has you...and left you right there. Don't worry, it happens...learn and make no mistake like this next time. Keep your cards close to your heart. Baring your emotions can be fatal...sometimes though..

Excellent analogy diya,

Only thing is, my appetite is never done with ice cream, its just too darn nice. Good job I don't shop for it anymore.

Also, I think that this means that the ice cream knows it has me.

Geoffersonairplane · Jun 13, 2007, 11:12 AM

Sorry, I don't know what's happening with my humour today.

Geoffersonairplane · Jun 13, 2007, 11:15 AM

No disrespect to the poster by the way with my off topic humour. I realise you are hurting and this is quite a tough time for you and I urge you to re-read the advice you have had so far. Take some time to yourself to think about what it is you need to do to get through all this and you will, I promise.

Jiser · Jun 13, 2007, 11:20 AM

Geoff I kind of gone off ice cream a bit, I do quite like a snow crème though or a ribenna ice when its sunny!

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by diya

The problem is, to keep that spark alive, there does need to be an element of challenge. If you give 100% of you to her then this makes you less interesting to her. She has you.

This I agree so very much with geoffersonairplane. Imagine urself craving for something like let's say an ice cream,and then when you have, u have half of it and want to throw the rest away....u feel your appetite is done with.Same way here...the girl realized she has you...and left you right there. Don't worry, it happens...learn and make no mistake like this next time. Keep your cards close to your heart. Baring your emotions can be fatal...sometimes though..

Learn to not give 100% of yourself to someone? Sounds harsh.

Another thing, she's my wedding date in a month- should I go no contact until then or should I just tell her now that I don't want her to be my date (or) that I'm taking someone else (make her jealous). The thing is she used to be friends with the bride (they kind of stopped being friends once we started seeing each other (weird situation) and she was invited to the wedding just not as my date but then we both decided that we would go together. Now that she hasn't called me back since I sent her flowers the other day or yesterday what should I do?

diya · Jun 13, 2007, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Righthearted

Learn to not give 100% of yourself to someone? Sounds harsh.

Another thing, she's my wedding date in a month- should I go no contact until then or should I just tell her now that I don't want her to be my date (or) that I'm taking someone else (make her jealous). The thing is she used to be friends with the bride (they kinda stopped being friends once we started seeing each other (weird situation) and she was invited to the wedding just not as my date but then we both decided that we would go together. Now that she hasn't called me back since I sent her flowers the other day or yesterday what should I do?

First take a deep breath and Relax. It is quite clear, she is off you right now, so in that situation if I were you, I would act mature, let the days go by NC till the wedding date, won't say anything to her.. all this to make jealous is too childish an act.. and still go to the wedding irrespective she attends it or not. You should have your share of fun with or without someone. It's your life and moments to preserve. IF someone is determined to not be part of your life, to hell with them, there'll be other people to love you.. don't foget to remain happy during the wedding so may find someone charming there... hmmm!

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 03:21 PM

Thanks for the advice, I'm not going to call her/text and I'm in the wedding party so we won't even have to be together that much during the wedding so I'm going to have a great time.

I guess it's her loss - all the little things that I would do for her that meant a lot I hope she misses out on because I don't know if someone else would do what I did for her.
I just can't believe that she wouldn't even call me regarding the flowers that I sent her.

diya · Jun 13, 2007, 03:34 PM

U know most of the times we do certain things for people out of expectations, that is the root cause of being unhappy. Now if you truly loved her, sent her flowers to make her feel happy, u did the best, why should you think she should respond in the same fashion. You love her that makes u do things, she does not, so she doesn't respond. You do your best and as they say leave unto the rest... some way it gets repaid. You did a nice thing by sending flowers, that is a beautiful gesture, it certainly is a loss on the psycological being of the receiving party who doesn't recognize love... so sad isn't it!. so buddy, let this not bog you down, do nice things and something good happens at the right time... I firmly believe in this... be optimistic... hoots to what others r doing...

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 04:02 PM

You definitely make a lot of sense. Thank you again for your advice, I will get through this, I think NC will really help this time around, she's being selfish right now - so should I.

Righthearted · Jun 13, 2007, 04:06 PM

If she really loves me and we were meant to be together she will find her way back to me.