[chuff]

I think looks may matter at the beginning but it only goes so far. Anna Nicole Smith was incredibly good looking, and she had money. But there is no way I'd ever spent two hours with her because she had nothing to offer. My guess would be she knew it too which is why she slept around so much. No guy was ever really going to be interested in her.

Britney Spears, even bald, is a pretty girl but she's got nothing else. She's emotionally, intelligectially, and spiritually dead. I could never image spending anytime with someone that far gone.

For the ladies, and this is just off the top of my head but I assume Tom Cruise is good looking. He's also completely nuts and once he fired his publist who kept his lunitc behavior covered up for years the public really saw he had no substance.

On the flip side, I think I can safely say Howard Stern isn't a good looking man. Yet he has beautiful women willing to do anything for him.

All that being said, I think looks to play a part in life and in attraction, no question. I just don't think they mean anything over the long haul. I think looks might help in the initial stages but at some point you have to have something to back it up. You've got to have some kind of foundation of being.

[ifitoldyou]

I think it's ridiculous to assume that a person would solely base a relationship on appearance - whether someone else's or their own. A person can be attracted to someone's personality, whether the person is attractive or "ugly." it happens, it's not unheard of. I've fallen for people who I thought were amazing, though physically less appealing than I would've liked.


Shallow people are everywhere, but not everyone is like that.

[rol]

Oh gosh that was a long post! Didn't read it all but got the jist of it... and most of it I disagreed with.

<<A very good looking girl will fain disgust at a medium looking guys aroach, but not at a good looking guys aproach. But a medium looking girl will not fain disgust at a medium guys aproach. A bad looking girl will be open to a medium guys aproach.>>

All that is absolutely RIDICULOUS!! OK maybe for the younger generation <25 this could be all true, although no as I know a gorgeous 21 year old girl with an ugly 35 year old guy. All his friends wonder how he does it... as they consider themselves all better looking but it is his personality, totally confident and hilarious! Seriously that is what girls want especially in the 20s. In the 30s girls want something more stable.

Ive dated great looking guys like models, normal looking guys, ugly guys and it all depends on the personality that atttracted me.

Personally I like a normal ,manly looking guy with humour and quite confident who can have an interesting and intelligent converation.
I have a gorgeous looking male friend, girls are all attracted to him just because of his looks, I swear you walk in the street with this guy are girls are coming on to him lol. But he suffers also as those kind of girls he attracts usually go from one guy to another.

And as for Tom Cruise, beurrrkkkkkkkkkkk, sorry if you are reading Tom;-)

[wap]

Ha ha! Yeah Tom Cruise - yuck! He is short and big headed LOL! And chuff you are not the way you describe yourself at all, you don't give yourself enough credit : )

I haven't dated that many guys, but I have dated a guy I did not find physically attractive at all. When I first met him I would never have went out with him. He talked me round though... he seemed to have a way with women. I now wish I had went with my first instincts, he was a two timing rat, who was only after sex and money from people.

I have not been able to read all the post either, but get the jist of it.

[rol]

See Chuff how the laws of attraction works!! WAP Contacted you lol:)
wap go and read the lawas of attraction thread and you will understand :)

[phoenix1664]

Looks matter but they are not as important as some people make them out to be I won't lie girls with looks will make me turn my head but if she has a really bad personality no matter how good she lookes I won't bother you need more than lookes they are just the beginning you need to be more than a face or a body you need personality to go with them.

[robynhgl]

I have to agree with Phoenix. Looks will get you noticed, or make you notice, but they won't keep you interesting or interested for long if there's no substance behind them.

Something important that was left out of OLG's original post was the fact that everyone has their own ideas and ideals for what they consider 'attractive'. Tom Cruise definitely does NOT do anything for me, neither does Brad Pitt or most of the other 'Flavor of the Week' Hunks. While they're attractive, they wouldn't get a second look from me if I passed them on a street or saw them at a restaurant or bar.

Also left out is the fact that there are some people who, while not attractive in the purely physical sense of the word, exude a certain something that makes them extremely attractive to others. My best friend is one of these people. She is not a drop dead gorgeous woman, but she attracts both men and women like bees to honey. Much of it has to do with the way she carries herself and her personality. I find it quite fascinating to watch. She neither thinks of herself as attractive nor unattractive.

I've met men who were so attractive that it almost hurt my eyes to look at them, but they had the personality and intellect of a garden snail, I've also met men who were not as physically attractive but after spending time getting to know their personality and their intellect--they actually became more attractive to me.

If all someone is after is something of beauty, yet empty and devoid of any other redeeming qualities, they will never be satisfied. Sort of like sitting down to a sumptous banquet where the food is looks mouth wateringly delicious--only to find that it's all plastic prop food... the eyes may be satisfied, but the hunger still exists.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I still say that beauty comes from within and some might say that this is rubbish but it really is not. Highly attractive people on a physical level can be quite ugly inside but some can also be beautiful inside and also some physically unattractive people can also be ugly inside or attractive inside. I don't believe you can necessarily put a connection between someone's attractiveness physically or emotionally/mentally/spiritually. There are sometimes connections, sometimes not. You must use your instinct to determine this..

[February Heart Break]

This is a funny entry. I can tell you did a lot of research about this issue. I think looks do matter but personality comes after. I think I'm a beautiful gal and I dated hot guys before... I'm not conceited type though so I hate cocky guys. I rather date a man with a lot of heart... even if they're a medium looking man. I'd never go lower than that though. There's really no luck for the ugly people though unless their heart is so big that that's all you can see, or if they have MONEY... haha. But lets just say I'm sure the ugly ones get love too... "from eachother" and from some horny bastards out there... ahaha...

[chuff]

Ha ha! yeah Tom Cruise - yuck! he is short and big headed LOL!

Yeah he’s a tool. I’ve never liked him since I sat through 2 and half hours of “Eyes wide shut” and realized that he is NOT a good actor. NEVER watch that movie! How that thing got okayed is beyond me as it was beyond boring. He’s one of those people I never understood why he was considered an A list movie star. I don’t disagree that he can draw at the box office but he, in my opinion, can not act at all.

and chuff you are not the way you describe yourself at all, you don't give yourself enough credit : )

Reeeeeeeeeeally? Whatever do you mean? Chuff’s warm charm, sense of elegance and self, contributions to international good will, and advanced sense of humor are appealing to the great citizens of Scotland? I do believe my good day has taken a turn for the great!

I haven't dated that many guys, but I have dated a guy I did not find physically attractive at all. When I first met him I would never have went out with him. He talked me round though... he seemed to have a way with women. I now wish I had went with my first instincts, he was a two timing rat, who was only after sex and money from people.

I have not been able to read all the post either, but get the jist of it.

What are your instincts about me saying? You know just curious. I’m not after sex or money. Just smiles.

[chuff]

>>>>"rol agrees: i agree, chuff you are hillariously funny, and intelligent and can have great converations , that is what girls want!!,

Thank you.


>>i can't remember how u looked on that other thread"

I look like Brad Pitt's better looking younger brother.

Actually I wonder if he has a younger brother. Talk about shoes I wouldn't want to be in. Can you imagine what would happen every time he told his lady interests that his brother was Brad Pitt? The interest factor in him is completely gone, but I'm sure they'd stick around to meet Brad.

[onlineguy]

Hi there.

I need a second opionion. I went out with friends for lunch to a place I quite often go to. I like the waitress there and we always speak, with plenty of eye contact and fun banter.

So as I was leaving I asked her if she would like to go for a drink, she hesitated a little but said yes, so I asked for her number. She gave me this.

I then l8r that day sent her a text saying this is my number so that when I call she will know who it is (Being thoughtfull).

The next day I called her, no reply, phone went to answer machine. (This could have been for a number of reasons). So I sent a text saying that I called to see if she was free on Tuesday. But I received no reply.

So Where Now: If she did not find me attractive, why say yes to a drink and yes to giving me her number ? Only to ignore me when I try to contact her. I find this very rude and this shows a lack of value for me.

Now my dilema: I will be back in the same bar for lunch at the weekend, How should I respond to her. She knows I like her, but has demonstrated she does not like me.

I still like her, but If I pursue her then it will achieve nothing and its me condoning her ignorance.

Or do I simply ackoledge her but act like I am not bothered. In which case I lose out.

What I want to achieve is for her to want me, but without me being a lap dog or accepting such behaviour !

Any suggestions.

[Krs]

Well you called her and nothing, you messaged her and nothing!
Why bother again..

Now when you back to this bar, don't show her that you were disappointed and wondering why this and why that?

I wouldn't say anything to her!
If she interested she will, trust me.

[where did i go wrong]

Your too easy, she's playing you man...

Krs is right, act like it didn't bother you at all, if she is playing hard to get she'll be all over you, if she just wasn't interested then move on my man

[talaniman]

Drop it, and consider how many guys hit on her at work. She let you down easy, so take the hint. No need to act like an animal.

[Tuscany]

Walk in the bar, smile at her. But DO NOT bring up the unanswered phone and text messages. The ball is now in her court. If she decides not to play, move on.

[Allheart]

Relax :)

You didn’t show her that you liked her – You showed “interest”. Nothing wrong with that. Now you said there was friendly banter, and eye contact, so she may very well have been interested too. Could be she may have a boyfriend already and realized later that she should not have given her number and felt bad about it. That’s a possibility.

Go in to the bar, smile and carry yourself as you normally would. You have nothing to feel bad about.

As far as getting her to “want you”, well, you never can really make anyone feel or do anything. Just be yourself and if she approaches you with a conversation, listen to what she is saying, go slow, relax and be the same guy she originally gave her number to. Not much has changed since that time, so just keep on being you.

If she turns the other way - then just let it be. Could be a number of reasons - none of which you should concern yourself with as more than likely has nothing to do with you.

Either way - go out and enjoy yourself :)

[onlineguy]

Hi guys, I like this girl who I work with, she is always friendly when I speak, but never seems to go out of her way to speak to me. No indicators of interest. But because she is always very friendly I find myself second guessing if she is interested or not.

Is she just being friendly or is she interested ? Blinded by emotions here.

Do you think its best to continue to make the effort to speak to her and watch to see if she shows signs of interest or accept that there is no interest and leave her alone ?

[diya]

U know sometimes, women take their own time to open up and some guard their emotions just in case they get hurt later... if you like someone, never give up before u actually get to know the intentions or feelings... and once you are clear... take it further with patience... but remember.. if one is friendly.. doesn't necessarily mean she/he has equal amount of interest in you as you have in them... so don't go overboard with it...

[talaniman]

Be as friendly as she is with no expectations of any more than that. You are already blinded by emotions so knowing that, don't let them get you carried away.