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Bonnie46 · Apr 17, 2009, 05:12 PM

Hi. I'm sorry about this difficult situation. I understand that you are heartbroken and sick about this. Maybe you did the right thing by cutting her off Facebook and msn. It's probably in your best interest to ignore her text-messages, her phone calls. I think it's time to find a new dental clinic to go to.

rida102 · Apr 17, 2009, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

I agree with you 100% in hard times true love really shows. i feel like she abandoned ship, in a way this was a test for me, if we were married this probably woulda been a divorce. The other test was our trip to mexico back in september. She was acting very cold and distant, not hugging or cuddling with me anymore and not kissing me with passion, just a peck or a superficial kiss. These were flags which i did not take seriously enough. They say a trip is a way of seeing if you gonna make it or break it. I know i will be better without her, yet something keeps giving ideas that maybe one day will regret what she did and want to reconciliate because this was her first serious relationship and i am the first guy she introduced to her family and friends.

I am just going to keep no contact and move on, i deleted her number on my cell, deleted from facebook, blocked on msn. I know sending that final email is tempting and will help me get closure, but i won't do it. They say silence is power, and i have the power right now. The power to move on and ignore. I did not end it, so i will never live with regret or guilt. It's her loss, I know by experience when you lose the good one, it's hard to get them back.

I went through the same thing recently... wow

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 17, 2009, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by Bonnie46

Hi. I'm sorry about this difficult situation. I understand that you are heartbroken and sick about this. Maybe you did the right thing by cutting her off of facebook and msn. It's probably in your best interest to ignore her text-messages, her phone calls. I think it's time to find a new dental clinic to go to.

Thanks Bonnie, I am doing better now, I have completely blocked her out of my life and I have no temptation to contact her even when I had a few drinks :-)
It's been 2 weeks now since we last spoke. I told her that I would never contact her again, and if she wants to reconciliate to give me a sign. I will not take her back easily if ever she does want to come back. I know jumping right in her arms will just show I'm easy and she might repeat what she did.

Ya I won't be going back to that clinic, I paid what I owed them and they gave me the next apointment in 6 months, bt I won't go back, I'll find another place.

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 21, 2009, 10:28 PM

You guys were right about the rebound thing, I feel weird when I'm with new girl. Feels like I can't concentrate. She has sensed this and said I need more time.

I told her maybe I need a few days or a few weeks, but I admitted I wasn't ready for her. I mentioned my ex too often to her and I kept bringing back bad moments. I promised myself I would not do this but it came out accidentally a few times and she saw I am still hurting. I guess I going to take some more time for myself without dating.

friend4u178 · Apr 21, 2009, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

You guys were right about the rebound thing,

LOL... we finally got one right ;)

Just take it slow Luigi!

kctiger · Apr 22, 2009, 05:34 AM

Give me your greenies, and all will be forgotten! Good ole' KC knows what he is talking about (from time to time, and a very limited time at that!).

Carry on, my man!. :cool:

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 22, 2009, 09:41 AM

Yes you guys were right, now I need to know how long it's going to take? Cause I don't want to waste my life thinking about my ex. I want to be able to be happy again. Any tips?

kctiger · Apr 22, 2009, 09:43 AM

My tip: Don't EXPECT anything... life happens to you, and when it does, you will know what to do. Just enjoy and don't worry about stupid, petty little things you can't control

liz28 · Apr 22, 2009, 10:22 AM

'un jour a la fois'>One day at a time.

You can't rush your healing process and you should only get involve with someone when your truly over your ex. You don't want to carry any emotional baggage to next relationship because that would be unfair to your partner.

So again, don't try to rush your healing process. The time frame of getting over your ex varies from person to person. Maybe you should write a closure letter than burn it. Sometimes it helps when people does this.

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 22, 2009, 09:28 PM

I feel like I can't continue any progress, like I am still stuck with my ex haunting me, and I am worried she will write me a letter or contact me while I am seeing another woman. I know because this has happened before in my past and it might happen again.

liz28 · Apr 23, 2009, 12:53 AM

If she writes you a letter don't read it. Put it in the garbage.

If she calls don't answer her calls. If she sends you a text immediately delete it without opening it. If she leaves a voicemail delete it.

You have control so don't let her get in touch with you when she wants to play your emotions. If anything you can always change your number.

You allow her to ruin things in the past so you should be hip to her game and wise enough to not let it happen again.

none12345 · Apr 23, 2009, 04:31 AM

Originally Posted by liz28

If she writes you a letter don't read it. Put it in the garbage.

If she calls don't answer her calls. If she sends you a text immediatly delete it without opening it. If she leaves a voicemail delete it.

You have control so don't let her get in touch with you when she wants to play your emotions. If anything you can always change your number.

You allow her to ruin things in the past so you should be hip to her game and wise enough to not let it happen again.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me

Dare81 · Apr 23, 2009, 05:09 AM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

i feel like i can't continue any progress, like i am still stuck with my ex haunting me, and i am worried she will write me a letter or contact me while i am seeing another woman. I know because this has happened before in my past and it might happen again.

Why don't you try doing something useful rather than sitting around thinking how your ex will destroy your next relationship.Go read a book, go for a walk

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 23, 2009, 09:39 AM

I am keeping busy, but these thoughts happen at night before bed or on the week ends when we were together. It's hard to just turn these ideas off when you have been 15 months with someone and it's been 2 months your not together anymore. I need more time...

kctiger · Apr 23, 2009, 09:46 AM

You have plenty of time. Keep living your life and doing what you're doing. Take your time and enjoy. No need to rush.

talaniman · Apr 23, 2009, 09:59 AM

Reread your own thread, your solutions, and some good suggestions, are there, you just need to be reminded. I think your mind is more receptive now.

friend4u178 · Apr 23, 2009, 04:25 PM

If you'd started the things that have been told to you by so many on this thread at the beginning you would be so much further into your healing process by now.

But because you kept believing things could work out and you held on to false hope that's what makes you STUCK.

Let go NOW and get on with the healing process and in a few months you'll feel so much better about it all. Then you'll come back here and cringe at some of the stuff you are doing now.

Believe me.

LoveStoned · Apr 23, 2009, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

If she writes you a letter don't read it. Put it in the garbage.

If she calls don't answer her calls. If she sends you a text immediatly delete it without opening it. If she leaves a voicemail delete it.

You have control so don't let her get in touch with you when she wants to play your emotions. If anything you can always change your number.

You allow her to ruin things in the past so you should be hip to her game and wise enough to not let it happen again.

100% right Liz. That is key to NC. It's a game they know all to well. They know exactly how to conquere it. Number one thing to do is to lose any hope.

PirandelloLuigi · Apr 23, 2009, 10:31 PM

I think when it will be 3 months I can officially say I moved on. Right now I still have some feelings left... NC helped me a lot. I did all my best to block all contact with her. I am seeing the light out of the dark tunnel I was in for the past 8 weeks. Don't let anyone control you. You are master of your destiny.

kctiger · Apr 24, 2009, 06:09 AM

I think trying to put a deadline on when you think you will be over this is pretty unfair and unrealistic. It happens when it happens. You will have moved on when you no longer talk about it and it becomes instinctive to just live your life without wondering about her.