[Wildcat21]

Jeff... what don't YOU get?? You don't want that woman back. SHE CHEATED ON YOU. She is playing you now. Move on.

[jeffatl]

I know, I don't think there is really anything else to say about my situation, I was just trying to help this guy NOT make the same stupid moves I have. Its hard to just let go of someone that you have spent soooooo much time with, but that's what you have to do. All of this will drive you MAD if you don't. I am getting better, and you will too. You just have to take things one day at a time and find your strength in yourself, not her. Ive got it in the WORST way right now, but I did meet a nice girl the other night and we are going to hang out this weekend. :cool:

[Chery]

Jeff: make this weekend quality time and don't mention one word about your addiction to this other chick - not one word! If you do, your date will be over before it even started. The last thing you want to do is show your weakness the fist time you meet someone.



Now, to the original post, sorry about getting off the track, but maybe this will give you an example of what NOT to do and you'll learn a little from it.

[momincali]

One_Life, Wow, What can I say that hasn't already been said? I can feel it in your posts how much this girl meant to you once. I'm not truly clear on why you two broke up in the first place but your current situation seems a little awkward. When a girl goes back and forth like that with the signals it seems to me those signals should only serve to be red flags. It sounds like she's not even sure what she wants. If she does want you back and is going through all of this eye contact and smiley face stuff only to turn around and flip the switch then I would steer clear of that one for a while. Your feelings for her are interfering with your intelligence and you can't allow that to happen. In a perfect world you would ask her how she felt and she would be honest and straight forward but as you know life is not typically perfect. The problem with us following our feelings versus our brains is that they often get us into trouble. If she was brave enough to break up with you and bold enough to make so much eye contact and the other stuff then she should be brave enough to come clean and let you know she wants you back without you having to tell her how you feel. Don't do that. I have a feeling it would backfire on you. Don't sweat this other guy, I don't think she is seeing him or at least not with any serious intent. Just keep yourself busy with other stuff. Consider taking up kickboxing. I have been kickboxing for 3 years now and I love it. It taught me something that to me, applies in most levels of life, when to use defensive and offensive techniques. It taught me discipline, balance, and to breathe so I can focus on anything and everything. Keep your balance. Don't ignore her but don't call her or go out of your way to talk to her either. If you see her, wave casually and keep walking. If she comes up to you to talk, spare a minute, maybe two and excuse yourself to make an important phone call. If she asks you to lunch, pause for a second and then ask for a raincheck. She's not going to know what hit her. P.S. If all else fails, don't forget you asked me to marry you too! LOL :D

[jeffatl]

Wrong thread, sorry!

[jeffatl]

Jeff: make this weekend quality time and don't mention one word about your addiction to this other chick - not one word! If you do, your date will be over before it even started. The last thing you want to do is show your weakness the fist time you meet someone.



Now, to the original post,, sorry about getting off the track, but maybe this will give you an example of what NOT to do and you'll learn a little from it.

UPDATE: That "date" was BS, this girl was OBSESSED with my freaking car... I was shocked. "you drive a lexus!?......OH MY GOD!" I just looked at this girl like are you kidding me! I just laughed and said "yea, its just a car". She wouldn't stop talking about all these material things with me like prada this, gucci that. CHRIST girl, is that all you have to talk about! She called me like 5 times the other day wanting me to come pick her up... riiiiiiiight. Sigh, some people. Im lonely, not desperate. :cool:

[one_life]

One_Life, Wow, What can I say that hasn't already been said? I can feel it in your posts how much this girl meant to you once. I'm not truly clear on why you two broke up in the first place but your current situation seems a little awkward. When a girl goes back and forth like that with the signals it seems to me those signals should only serve to be red flags. It sounds like she's not even sure what she wants. If she does want you back and is going through all of this eye contact and smiley face stuff only to turn around and flip the switch then I would steer clear of that one for a while. Your feelings for her are interfering with your intelligence and you can't allow that to happen. In a perfect world you would ask her how she felt and she would be honest and straight forward but as you know life is not typically perfect. The problem with us following our feelings versus our brains is that they often get us into trouble. If she was brave enough to break up with you and bold enough to make so much eye contact and the other stuff then she should be brave enough to come clean and let you know she wants you back without you having to tell her how you feel. Don't do that. I have a feeling it would backfire on you. Don't sweat this other guy, I don't think she is seeing him or at least not with any serious intent. Just keep yourself busy with other stuff. Consider taking up kickboxing. I have been kickboxing for 3 years now and I love it. It taught me something that to me, applies in most levels of life, when to use defensive and offensive techniques. It taught me discipline, balance, and to breathe so I can focus on anything and everything. Keep your balance. Don't ignore her but don't call her or go out of your way to talk to her either. If you see her, wave casually and keep walking. If she comes up to you to talk, spare a minute, maybe two and excuse yourself to make an important phone call. If she asks you to lunch, pause for a second and then ask for a raincheck. She's not gonna know what hit her. P.S. If all else fails, don't forget you asked me to marry you too! LOL :D

Thanks for the advise, I was wondering when you would get to my post. Lol
Yeah, I'm taking it one step at a time. It been 5 months now, since the break up. I tell you, its been very hard, and till this day I feel it sometimes. I was doing better with the no contact. You know out of sight out of mind. Since she moved to our dept, it been kind of difficult but I still go to work and do my job.
Maybe I read too much into it. I don't believe she really wanted me back, just her way of testing the waters. Besides if she really wanted me back, she wouldn't start seeing this other guy.

You are right, she does not really know what she wants, she always been wishy washy.

[Chery]

OK, we've all gone off the track. This is one_life's thread, can we get back to helping him out with his issues instead of Jeff. Jeff has his own thread and we should kind of stick to who's who in this zoo. - Just my opinion...

Let her stay as wishy washy as she wants as long as she does not get you involved again.There will be others. And at this point, you don't need to stick to one gal, just be casual and learn what others have to offer you, not the other way around. This might not be your 'style', but you need to try some new things in your life, as Momincali said, try kickboxing, there are some pretty independent women who know what they see and like there - you might just be the right one some are seeking. Good Luck, and keep us posted.

[jeffatl]

Sorry, I agree. I got mixed up with this thread and mine. I didn't mean to thread jack.

[Chery]

Sorry, I agree. I got mixed up with this thread and mine. I didnt mean to thread jack.

OK, dear, you'll only get three lashes with a wet noodle this time! C.U. on other posts and Happy Halloween!