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    bizygurl's Avatar
    bizygurl Posts: 522, Reputation: 110
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    #21

    Feb 9, 2006, 06:37 AM
    No one is saying it is. And no one is saying that your daughter should keep the baby or have an abortion either way. We are addressing your attitude as a parent about this whole situation. Why don't you go back and re read the last two posts you wrote, come back and tell us if we were right in reacting to your posts the way we did.
    You came here looking for legal advice and that's fine, but in the midst of that you also said "what can i do to get my fourteen year old out of my house if she refuses to listen to me and I feel as though I will cause her bodily harm" Can you explain that? Can you blame us for the reaction that we had.
    Now if what you said you didn't mean and were just upset and ranting then I understand, but after all the posts you still won't address that and that looks to us that you meant it.
    You need to be careful on what you say because if you were to say that in a room full of strangers It would be our job to call the police on you, because your admitting to wanting to hurt your child. I hope you know the seriousness of that, or maybe you do and don't care.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #22

    Feb 9, 2006, 08:16 AM
    Abortion is a legal choice but I am pro life and it is a bad choice.

    What we are trying to give you is "good" advice, just because something is legal does not mean it is right.

    What you will do is destroy any relationship you and this child ever had, Most likely after the adoption and this girl is legal age, she will do everything in her power to find ths baby and perhaps ruin a very good adoption.

    If you and your wife are not loving enough to keep the baby, and it appears you are not, best would be to find a close relation that would be, then your daughter will still be part of the babies life and perhaps can be the mother when she is older.

    In my wildest dream I can not image anyone sounding as unloving and heartless as you do in these posts.
    nwsflash's Avatar
    nwsflash Posts: 530, Reputation: 73
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    #23

    Feb 9, 2006, 09:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by paynter167
    i didnt realize that this was a right to life web site.i just wanted some legal advice
    Nobody said it is!! I'm just :mad: that you could even think of hitting your own flesh and blood whilst there carrying a baby... Then again I forgot you HOLD no VALUE to your daughters our Grandchilds life.:mad:

    Just remember what ever action you take, you and your family will have to live with it for the rest of your life... :confused:

    From what you have been posting, your daughter is very young and will be effected by this for her life, but you are just making things ten times worse for her... How do you think she will feel if you make her KILL her own baby?? How do you think she will feel if you make her give the child up??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #24

    Feb 9, 2006, 05:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by paynter167
    i didnt realize that this was a right to life web site.i just wanted some legal advice
    What you do today with your pregnant daughter will have some far reaching consequences down the road.As a father and grandfather who loves his kids and grand kids to death I cannot imagine giving them anything but love,and the best of my attention. Even when my daughter was 13-14 and she was smelling herself I made sure she knew she could come to me for anything and if she talked I listened.I didn't agree most of the time but I learned if I kept my cool and kept the lines of communication open she usually went along with my program.The key with kids is not harsh discipline an threats and physical abuse ,but a very early bond that is made stronger with time and trust.You sound like a very hard man and I can only suggest that you will regret running your love ones out of your life.Oh, if you need legal advice get a lawyer!:cool:
    Mim's Avatar
    Mim Posts: 32, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Mar 7, 2006, 07:49 AM
    Have you tried going to a crisis pregnancy center or something along that line to see if they could help you in explaining your concerns to your daughter. Sometimes it helps just to hear a viewpoint explained in a different manner and by someone not related to the situation. Reading into your post (and I could be very wrong) it seems that you have had a continuing problem with your daughter listening to you and your wife's viewpoints, because I'm sure you weren't advising her to have sexual relations at age 14. I feel for you and your wife and hope things work out satisfactorily for all parties involved. I do agree with your daughter abortion is out of the question.
    Myth's Avatar
    Myth Posts: 897, Reputation: 147
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    #26

    Mar 18, 2006, 11:09 PM
    Most teens don't just go out and have sex. Oh I know some do. But I seriously doubt that this one did. She was looking for someone to care for her to hold her when she needed to cry to laugh at the funny things in life. It sounds that this child made a conscious decision to find that someone because it obviously wasn't at home. My guess is that she decided to be with her boyfriend to fill a void that her parents neglected and her parents should feel shamed... I would take this child in in a heartbeat if I could. Pregnant or not. She needs love not someone to damn her. She needs support in her choices not someone to constantly tell her she's wrong... that's what she needed in the first place and what both of her parents lacked. If I could I would take this child in and love her as one of my own and her own parents be damned. I can only hope that the one who judges you in the end will judge you as harshly as you have just judged your daughter. If you wish to blame someone blame yourselves for being so neglectful to her and her needs. You failed as parents.
    fairy-dust's Avatar
    fairy-dust Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #27

    May 25, 2006, 08:30 AM
    Originally Posted by paynter167
    So if anyone wants a baby this one will surely be up for adoption


    I can't believe what you just said arrrrrggghhhhhhh I need to go for a brew and a walk before I said something I would get banned for
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #28

    May 25, 2006, 08:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fairy-dust
    Originally Posted by paynter167
    so if anyone wants a baby this one will surely be up for adoption


    i can't belive what you just said arrrrrggghhhhhhh i need to go for a brew and a walk b4 i said somthing i would get banned for
    fairy-dust,

    I don't quite follow your logic on this one.

    The father of this daughter obviouslly didn't want this baby around, so odds it would go up for adoption if born, would be high.

    Of course, the daughter wanted to keep it, so who knows what happened.
    Jbear's Avatar
    Jbear Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #29

    May 26, 2006, 04:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by paynter167
    well i got my answer people i talked to a laywer and in nj the parent has the RIGHT to put the baby up for adoption if the child is a minor but not the right to force her to have an abortion.so if anyone wants a baby this one will surely be up for adoption

    It's odd but I was reading yesterday that in NJ a pregnant minor or a minor who has already had a child is emancipated... meaning she can live on her own and make her own decisions about herself and her baby. She can also get a restraining order against an abusive family member.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #30

    May 26, 2006, 04:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
    You can not force your daughter to give up her own baby, you can not force her to abort a baby. She wants to keep her baby and you need to be a real parent so get off your high horse and become a real parent without forcing anything on your daughter.
    Exactly... no matter the daughters age.. at the end of the day she is carrying her OWN baby not the mothers baby..
    HOW SELFISH..
    SELFISH LOVE...
    don8's Avatar
    don8 Posts: 75, Reputation: 16
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    #31

    Mar 15, 2007, 11:13 AM
    WOW! I really hope that she either leaves your home before it is to late or does decide to give the baby up for adoption because God knows you do not need to be an influence on ANY other child! Any one who could even think about doing the things that you say you are thinking about definitely don't need to be around children.
    ATYOURSERVICE's Avatar
    ATYOURSERVICE Posts: 246, Reputation: 13
    Full Member
     
    #32

    Mar 19, 2007, 11:54 AM
    A minor is your responsibility until the age of 18, sorry. You will open a can of worms with Children Services. They have to have cause to remove your child. Not because you want them to.
    zelda's Avatar
    zelda Posts: 83, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #33

    Mar 31, 2007, 04:39 PM
    How could you hurt your daughter... im not going to insult you like everyone else did because its up to you how you discipline. But I want a girl more than anything. For all these people that harm there children don't deserve to have their girls when I could have one that I would never attempt to harm

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