[dani04]

I broke up my ex about a week ago...
I want him back so I thought I would ask
And his words were
No dani... baby not right now
He still tells me he loves me
He said I am the most beauitful girl there is ever
And I was the best girl friend anyone could have...
I want him back so badly I am in love with him. I know when you love someone you have to let them go and fly away but I can't let someone go that I can't go a day without thinking about.
I don't know how to handle this...

He said we might get back together but it might be years... I am afarid if it is years he will move onto someone else and won't come back. I know he is not the kind of guy who would just leave a girl for another girl and he doesn't move onto girls like a lot of other guys do.

[JL FANATIC]

I am a 27 yr old man and my FIANCE' told me the same thing. Listen show him that you still love him and don't be his screw buddy. You have to show him that he can trust you again. My solution is a proposal when you get back together. Just remember be honest. LETS WORK THIS OUT AND STOP SAYING YOU NEED SPACE. That's like someone saying you have seven days to live or something, it hurts and hurts and hurts. Good luck

[jolienoire]

I broke up my ex about a week ago....
I want him back so I thought I would ask
and his words were
no dani...baby not right now
He still tells me he loves me
He said I am the most beauitful girl there is ever
and I was the best girl friend anyone could have...
I want him back so badly I am in love with him. I know when you lvoe someone you have to let them go and fly away but I can't let someone go that I can't go a day without thinking about.
I don't know how to handle this...

He said we might get back together but it might be years... I am afarid if it is years he will move onto someone else and wont come back. I know he is not the kind of guy who would jsut leave a girl for another girl and he doesnt move onto girls like alot of other guys do.

First I can say from experience I can understand how you feel, secondly I want to say if you love him that much it means that you care about his happiness, wheter it is with or without you.. That is unconditional love. Don't fear the future, as you don't know what can happen take one day at a time, and let him sort out the things he need too, and you do the same. You take this time to work on yourself, emotionally it will be tough but nothing is impossible.. just to let you know I ended up with my HS sweetheart 10 years later and a few years after my divorce, and because I allowed him to go freely without pushing him to be with me he remembered that we broke up on good terms, and it allowed us to be together... I am not saying wait 10 years because I didn't I moved on evenutally got married and divorced and have two beautiful children, and I ended up with my first love, I mean we have our differenced but that's with any relationship... Just take it one day at a time and begin to focus on you self growth... and day by day you will see it will get better... there is really no time frame as to when it will end... but it starts when you realize it is over and begin to live life.. You have one chance to live in this life.. live it to the fullest... Be comfortable with being alone sometimes, and take that time to do the things you could not do in a relationship... You will be fine... just don't pressure him and ruin the chances...

Good luck to you...

[dani04]

I am a 27 yr old man and my FIANCE' told me the same thing. Listen show him that you still love him and dont be his screw buddy. you have to show him that he can trust you again. my solution is a proposal when you get back together. Just remember be honest. LETS WORK THIS OUT AND STOP SAYING YOU NEED SPACE. thats like someone saying you have seven days to live or something, it hurts and hurts and hurts. good luck

So how do I act around him

[dani04]

first I can say from experience I can understand how you feel, secondly I want to say if you love him that much it means that you care about his happiness, wheter it is with or without you.. That is unconditional love. Don't fear the future, as you don't know what can happen take one day at a time, and let him sort out the things he need too, and you do the same. You take this time to work on yourself, emotionally it will be tough but nothing is impossible.. just to let you know I ended up with my HS sweetheart 10 years later and a few years after my divorce, and because I allowed him to go freely without pushing him to be with me he remembered that we broke up on good terms, and it allowed us to be together... I am not saying wait 10 years because I didn't I moved on evenutally got married and divorced and have two beautiful children, and I ended up with my first love, I mean we have our differenced but thats with any relationship... Just take it one day at a time and begin to focus on you self growth... and day by day you will see it will get better... there is really no time frame as to when it will end... but it starts when you realize it is over and begin to live life.. You have one chance to live in this life.. live it to the fullest.... Be comfortable with being alone sometimes, and take that time to do the things you could not do in a relationship... You will be fine... just don't pressure him and ruin the chances...

Good luck to you...

You mean move on? I don't really get it

[jolienoire]

you mean move on?? I dont really get it

Move on emotionally, when people say move on it doesn't mean to jump into something right away it means just don't sit around waiting... It means let yourself get comfortable with his decision it means grow for your own sake... it means take your time and allow this time that you have to yourself to work on yourself. No one knows the future no one can tell you that he won't come back,I was basically stating not to count the days, as it will drive you insane... I was saying that if you loved him that much you would respect his decision whether it be with or without you.. Loving someone means caring about their happiness, ulitimately it may hurt you that he is happy with out you but it would be selfish to want him to come back if he is not in fact ready. He needs to think things over, and you need to give him that time to think... in the mean time the waiting can take a toll on you so you need to stay productive, by staying productive you can simply do things that you enjoy things that make you happy... moving on means moving forward, it is for your own sake... You may not understand what I am saying because you love him so much, and loving sometimes can be a handicap you become blinded to the answers when they are in front of you. I am not saying he will or won't come back I am simply stating that you need to accept his decision in the meantime, and not think about the what if, or what was and think of what will be... I hope I clarified that...

[dani04]

Move on emotionally, when ppl say move on it doesn't mean to jump into something right away it means just don't sit around waiting... It means let yourself get comfortable with his decision it means grow for your own sake... it means take your time and allow this time that you have to yourself to work on yourself. No one knows the future no one can tell you that he won't come back,I was basically stating not to count the days, as it will drive you insane... I was saying that if you loved him that much you would respect his decision whether it be with or without you.. Loving someone means caring about their happiness, ulitimately it may hurt you that he is happy with out you but it would be selfish to want him to come back if he is not infact ready. He needs to think things over, and you need to give him that time to think ... in the mean time the waiting can take a toll on you so you need to stay productive, by staying productive you can simply do things that you enjoy things that make you happy.... moving on means moving forward, it is for your own sake.... You may not understand what I am saying because you love him so much, and loving sometimes can be a handicap you become blinded to the answers when they are in front of you. I am not saying he will or wont come back I am simply stating that you need to accept his decision in the meantime, and not think about the what if, or what was and think of what will be.... I hope I clarified that...

Well Ill dothat but what else would I have to do so he might come back

[ISneezeFunny]

For him to come back...

Do... nothing. Really. What jolienoire said is gold. Live your life... for you, for now. There's NOTHING you can do to change his mind, so basically, you just have to do something that won't RUIN your chances. If you sit there and wait and mope around, chances are, you'll one day crash and call him and ask him again. Continuously asking him to get back with you will push him away. Like he said, it might take years... so take this time to be more independent. Try to survive without him (and most people will say... "but I don't want to"). Whether you want to, becoming more independent will be beneficial for the both of you.

He might see that you've become more "grown up" and more "independent"... which is a very attractive factor. You will also be happier with your own life. Stay productive.

Best wishes.

[jolienoire]

well Ill dothat but what else would I have to do so he might come back

There is nothing you can do.. Actually what you can do is give him the space he is asking for.. that's pretty much it in a nutshell . You can't convince someone to be with you.. You will only drive them away.. Unfortanetly, nothing anyone can say on this site that will change the mind of your ex... You are searching for answers that none of us can make not even you.. right now it is up to your ex to figure out if he wants to continue this relationship.. it will be hard but most of us on this site have been through it and can help you.. But you have to be willing to start accepting the fact that YOU Can't MAKE HIM COME BACK...

[talaniman]

Hey Dani, all due respect, but you have already asked this question over, and over, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2465659, the answers will never change, and until you accept he is gone, with no hope of coming back, as he has moved on, so stop talking to this fellow, and get a life you enjoy. Time to let go!

[dani04]

Hey Dani, all due respect, but you have already asked this question over, and over, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2465659, the answers will never change, and until you accept he is gone, with no hope of coming back, as he has moved on, so stop talking to this fellow, and get a life you enjoy. Time to let go!

I am sorry but this is really my first "big" relation ship and I don't know how to teach myself this stuff

[ISneezeFunny]

You don't have to teach yourself this stuff.

You just have to teach yourself to listen to 30 some people on this forum.

Not to be harsh, but everyone's saying the same thing... and there's a reason for it.

[s_cianci]

The very first line of your post...

I broke up my ex about a week ago...

You made a decision and that decision has consequences. Now you've got to live with those consequences. You broke up with him so he moved on. Sounds like a totally healthy response with me. You need to do likewise ; cut your losses and move on.

[Suelle383]

Dani - If it make you feel better, when I was younger I was with a guy for 3 years and one day out of the blue I just broke up with him. Literally within 2 hours, I was thinking "oh, god, what have I done? was it a mistake?". And then I called him and was begging him to come back. He basically said the same thing to me that your ex said to you. And you know what, he was right. That relationship ended 6 years ago, and wow is my life different and I like to think better for it. He was a great guy and I learned a lot from that relationship, but it just wasn't right. And it took being out of the relationship for a couple of months to realize that. Sometimes, I wonder where my life would be if we hadn't stayed broken up and I think wow, "i would have missed out on all this other good stuff and other great and interesting people i've met and dated since." Believe all ofus, you'll get over it and hopefully in years to come look back on this relationship fondly and think about all you learned from this.

[talaniman]

I want him back so badly I am in love with him.

You want one thing to happen, he doesn't. It takes time to accept he is gone, but you must, and learn to leave him alone, to stop all the false hope, and move on. He is trying to let you down easy, so take heed. Takes time, I know, to adjust. Click on the links in my signature, and see if any of the threads applies to you, and let me know.