[atmisk]

Okay, so here it is my girlfriend and I have not been doing so well recently. I just graduated, still looking for employment and starting school in August. Lately she's being mean to me said things like doubting our relationship will last, she loves me but thinks I am boring, she loves me but she's not sure, she wants some more excitement. I don't even know how to start from there. I'm kind of stuck in this mindgame right now. We lost connection somehow. She likes talking to other guys more than me now which I'm not really jealous of or anything. Just kind of fustrating to be put like this. Any insight to this would be greatly appreciated.

[imation]

The fact that she wants more excitement explains why she is talking to other guys more, she is looking for that excitement. If she is worth it then be exciting, romantic and you may save the relationship. But if she keeps looking for excitement by talking to other guys it shows that she is not really willing to work on things with you and would rather a quick fix of cheating on you. Figure out whether she is really worth your time.

[atmisk]

I do try to keep her interested in me, I do try really hard. Two nights ago we had a discussion about how flirty she can get and that she knows of course I'm not the flirty type of guy and she's trying to change. So far I see no improvement whatsoever. Maybe Myspace is corrupting her or something as she's on it most of the time. Most of the people she talks to is from Gayspace.

[imation]

OK well maybe you should concentrate on doing things with her, go and have fun with her. As long as she knows how you feel about this and you are both consciously making an effort to fix the issues there is no reason it can't work

[atmisk]

Thank you for your advice. We might hangout this weekend if she is not too busy or anything.

[yeye82]

Have fun with her and at the same time, make sure you are having fun and happy too.

[talaniman]

I've read your other posts, and think she is young and still growing, and finding things out about herself. I also think this is more about her growing need to explore, and find herself, rather than boredom. You are obviously at different places in your lives, with different priorities, and goals. At this time she is unwilling to change. Honestly re-evaluate yourself, and this relationship, and realise what it is your holding on to, and if its realistic. Quit bluntly, its more you than her working for this, and that has never worked for long.

[atmisk]

You're right Tal, to be honest a few nights ago we were talking about how flirty she can get sometimes with other guys. I mean I'm not like OMG how can you do that, I'm just being fair to her and said as long as it's on a low level it's fine. She said she wants to change but then again she did it again by saying "pretty cute" to this new guy in school. Kind of annoyed with that. She also told me today she said "I give free blow**bs" in school jokingly. I was very disappointed she said that because she just degraded herself even if it was a joke. That just took my whole night apart. I don't really see how we can work things out to be honest. I re-evaluated myself and it's really unrealistic.

The things I do, I get judged by sometimes. The talking on the phone with her while she's talking to other people on gayspace or whatever which we argued many countless times over. If she wants someone exciting and not boring then fine, go have fun. I really thank you tal for your advice as it really hit the spot on how I am really feeling. Unfortunately we can't hang out because she is sick so I didn't even bother asking. She isn't the same anymore, she changed a lot. I haven't changed a bit. Me being funny and caring doesn't really mean that I should be with someone that finds me boring and unsure of "us". I'm tired of 10 minute responses making me feel like I am talking to myself for my own health while she's doing whatever she is. I mean I would love to see some change but as she said before in our argument a few months back "I don't change for anyone". I will try again and wait one week, if she can really honestly make the change then I'll be with her, but if not then I can't live like this. I shouldn't be treated this way. I'm sorry if it's a long read everybody.

[talaniman]

Sticking by your guns is how to get what you want, and just a caution, people change if they want to, not because some one wants them to, that includes you, as you can change, if you want to. Most of us grow and learn, because of the experiences we go through. They may not all be pleasant, but we take knowledge, and experiences, with us as we move to the next event in our lives. The point is chalk it up to experience, and keep moving forward with your life.