[Romefalls19]

There a few other options out there for myspace trackers. If you Google myspace trackers you can read up on some of the features each one has to be assess which one if the best suit for you.

[MLB33]

Thanks for the response confused, Im just glad somebody actually took into consideration what is really happening. I think what Im going to do is just wait a month or prob somewhere between one and two months and see what happens. If I contact her it will be around 2 months. I'm sure I'll have my head leveled out by then. Hopefully. It absolutely blows my mind that she hasn't called just because the kind of person she is.

[MLB33]

And Rome, Im glad somebody is in the same boat as me. Like I said before the only diff is that you know she is wondering about you. I know nothing. Which may be better in the long run who knows. I just wish I could get that sense of power back.

[Romefalls19]

Yea, but sometimes wondering gives you a false sense of hope. That's the road I am doing my best not to go down, not because I don't want to.. because I do.. but because I know if I go down it, I will more than likely end up back where I started. It's tough man, but we need to stick it out. We are both on the same day of NC and I know exactly what you are feeling bro... It's hard, my first thought when I wake up is "I hope I don't blow this NC and text her today" and my last thought before I go to bed is "I wonder if she is thinking about me" We can do this, either way the NC is going to work in our favor

[MLB33]

Yeah, and as bad as this may sound. If I want her back I starting to think that NC is the best chance I have. Bc I don't want her to feel guilty and if she comes back I want her whole heart. If she doesn't, then like everybody says, I will be on my way and feeling better. And, I might not want her back after all this who knows

[Romefalls19]

That's my whole thing... I told a mutual friend of ours, that her childish antics are just pushing me farther and farther away and I would be much more respectful if she made her point clear on what she wants or text me saying "we nee to talk" something with some maturity behind it. But who knows... Either way I will turn out better for the next step in life and so will you... NC will accomplish 1 of 2 things.. She will come back after she realizes she misses you or you move on and realize you found better

[freakinconfused]

It is, in my view, that ambivalence stage that the dumpee goes through, that often turns the tables and leaves the dumper needy and feeling like they have made the mistake of their lives in letting the dumpee go. BUT it is often too late!!!!

Yeah, I can see that. When I tried NC the 1st time we didn't talk for 3 days. She started texting, calling, making me desserts and dinner. She acted like she wanted to get back together, and of course I wanted to. However, I was wary because she dumped me and I was hurt, and I didn't fully trust her. I thought she might want me back until she could find someone better, and not because she made a mistake. Hell, she never admitted to making one or asked for forgiveness at all. One night she made me dinner and I slept at her place. I looked through her texts and found she had been obviously seeing some other dude, even after I had asked her if there was someone else, or if she just wanted to play the field. She lied, I called her on it, and I stormed out. She kept trying for a few weeks after that, but then she started seeing a completely different guy. She hooked up with him, and basically stopped talking to me. I guess I was just a backup plan. Since then (it was Dec 27th when she hooked up with him) she called me only once, and I answered because it was an unknown #. That was like Jan 7th. We talked for like 10 min and I just acted all happy, even though I wasn't. She didn't mention a new b/f at all. Then, 2 days ago I broke down and texted. She messaged back 2 times but then stopped. I gave her a call to invite her out to watch a basketball game with my friends, but she didn't answer or ever return my call. So now, just now, 4 + months later I'm actually starting to just give up that hope, and I feel like crap for texting/calling, because I knew what the outcome would be before I even did it. I'm even more pissed she called earlier because I was doing well and hadn't talked to her for almost 2 weeks, and she basically tricked me into answering.

That's why I'm on this site, trying to help others to realize the faster they go NC, the better off they will be all around in both healing themselves and stand a better chance of getting their ex back (please don't count on it though). I don't want a bunch of other people to have to experience what I did, even though most tend to not take the advice and think their situation is different.


What I'm curious about though is, if any of you out there have had your ex come back around after a long period of NC, how long did it normally take? Here I go, sounding like I'm trying to cling to hope, but I'm not. I'm really just curious because all of us have experienced this, and it seems like patterns tend to develop. Would make a good psychological study kind of...

[freakinconfused]

Thanks for the response confused, Im just glad somebody actually took into consideration what is really happening. I think what Im gonna do is just wait a month or prob somewhere between one and two months and see what happens. If I contact her it will be around 2 months. I'm sure I'll have my head leveled out by then. Hopefully. It absolutely blows my mind that she hasnt called just b/c the kind of person she is.

Tell me about it. It took me like 2 or 3 months to realize that my ex was not the same person I fell in love with, and still to this day cannot believe she treated me the way she did at the end. She was extremely secretive about the whole thing, and after the break up continued to lie or tell me half truths about why she wanted to split. She was very selfish in that she didn't really consider my feelings or what I wanted, just what she wanted. And I NEVER thought she would use me like she did, because I thought she was in love with me. Turns out I was just blinded. She did love me, otherwise she wouldn't have stayed with me for so long. But somewhere in our relationship she started to fall out of love with me. I just didn't see it, because my love for her was only growing stronger. And instead of her telling me about it then, she waited until she felt comfortable with dumping me and then stringing me along. Stupid b!tc#. See, as soon as I start to miss her and want her back, I just think about what I've just written and my mind immediately says "you don't want this girl back, she dumped you and then used you. Why would you be OK with that?"

[kuulski]

I can relate to what your saying seems like they want you to do sooo many things but the basic things they can't accomplish. My ex started emailing me again after 4 months of NC out of nowhere. First it was Hi how are you and how you been? Then it was every day then it just stopped. I don't know what her deal is or what she thinks but I am glad I didn't just start chasing again when she reached out to me. Now I see that she hasn't changed and cause if she did she would be communicating what she is feeling instead of playing games. Good Luck! It does get easier!

[MLB33]

What's so hard is this... like confused said we were all apparently blinded. Im not speaking for me yet, or anyone else here but it seems that the girl usually lost interest and we just couldn't except it. The hard part for me anyway is, still picturing that great side of her that loved me more than anything else on this planet. Its not their fault they fell out of love or whaetver happened. It definitely hurts and a lot of times makes me mad but what we are clinging to is that girl that we first fell in love with. Its just hard to realize that she may not be that person anymore.

[friend4u178]

MLB
Start thinking about the BAD things instead of the good , write a list and be honest with yourself , you'll be surprised.

[freakinconfused]

Whats so hard is this.....like confused said we were all apparently blinded. Im not speaking for me yet, or anyone else here but it seems that the girl usually lost interest and we just couldnt except it. The hard part for me anyway is, still picturing that great side of her that loved me more than anything else on this planet. Its not their fault they fell out of love or whaetver happened. It definately hurts and a lot of times makes me mad but what we are clinging to is that girl that we first fell in love with. Its just hard to realize that she may not be that person anymore.

That's exactly it dude - you got it! I'm still having trouble accepting it, and it's been 4 + months. The bad things, like qualities about her that you didn't like (I'm sure there were very few) and any arguments, etc. will fade over time, and you will generally remember the good stuff.

And you are right that it's not entirely their fault. People change over time, and the person you started dating will likely be somewhat different than the person who dumped you. Even you, you are probably not the same person with the same goals, outlook on life, etc. that you were when you first began dating her. All of this is normal, and OK. What's not OK however, is for someone who used to love you to walk all over you, string you along, and treat you like $#!t. You don't deserve to be treated that way, even if your ex doesn't realize she's doing it (and sometimes they don't - it can be a byproduct of them trying to let go of you). This is why you go NC, so that you can avoid all of this, because it will likely happen if you keep up contact. So far it sounds like you've avoided this, so good job man! Keep it up.

But remember what I said about the bad things fading and you remembering the good stuff? Well, same goes for them. They will eventually begin to suppress most of the bad things too and hold onto the good memories - its just how our brains work. And this is where NC comes into play if you absolutely have to cling to the hope you'll get back together. Once the bad starts to fade out of their heads, they'll start to remember the good stuff, which will then fill their heads. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE then they'll start to wonder why they left in the first place, and if they really deep down feel like they still love you and want to be with you, then they'll do something about it. Too bad it seems to happen after you've already accepted her as a loss and moved on.

But, if you are breaking NC all the time and coming across as a whiny beg / pleader with no nuts, (which you aren't so far, good job) you'll constantly remind them of the bad stuff, and therefore constantly remind them of why they dumped your @$$ in the first place.

[freakinconfused]

Trust me, I've tried it all: flowers, poems, music, etc. and none of them worked. In fact they failed miserably.

Yup. After being broken up for almost 2 months I wrote my ex an awesome song. I spent hours recording it and mixing it. She listened to it once and was like "oh that's nice."

[MissingHim2Much]

Yup. After being broken up for almost 2 months I wrote my ex an awesome song. I spent hours recording it and mixing it. She listened to it once and was like "oh that's nice."

OUCH!!

[gigi doug]

Its weird, everyone says let go of the hope that the ex will come back but when you get rid of that hope you come to the realisation that this may never happen and doesn't that make you feel more pain?I know it does for me.. that thought makes me feel kind of numb in a way.This sucks!

I just had a question and was wondering what you guys thought.. When people get drunk do you think their true feelings come out and they tell the truth? Or do they just start talking crap?Can you guys give me your opinions as this has been driving me crazy regarding something my ex said..

[ihatewestseneca]

I would say it depends on the person, when I'm hammered I don't hold back on what I think/feel. And then there's always the saying "a drunken mouth speaks sober thoughts" or something.

[AngelinaBella]

MLB
Start thinking about the BAD things instead of the good , write a list and be honest with yourself , you'll be surprised.

I tried the above then but I still fail terribly. Back then, my friends would tried to talk me out of it, but I was still with the same guy! It goes on and on until recently when I officially became a Dumpee. But unlike previously, I can just let go now. No hard feelings..

[ihatewestseneca]

MLB
Start thinking about the BAD things instead of the good , write a list and be honest with yourself , you'll be surprised.

I tired my hardest and my list is very very thin... I thought of about 3 things that bothered me about her.

[ISneezeFunny]

I tired my hardest and my list is very very thin... i thought of about 3 things that bothered me about her.

That's a lie and a half.

Without even knowing a girl, I can think of at least 5 things wrong with her. (ladies, you know you guys can think of at least 10 things wrong with any guy... so cut me some slack)

[confused25]

Yup. After being broken up for almost 2 months I wrote my ex an awesome song. I spent hours recording it and mixing it. She listened to it once and was like "oh that's nice."

From one confused individual to another... I truly feel your pain. Such a shame when you put so much love and effort into your artwork for one person, only to have it thrown back at you. Someday though, someone will appreciate it.