[aliang87]

So, my dog, beau, has stomach cancer and the vet wanted to euthenize him right away. My family and I decided to keep him for as long as we could. Now things have turned for the worst. I've accepted the fact that we have to euthenize him eventually, that is if he didn't go on his own. But, now that it's time, I'm not sure how OK I am. I know it's for the best because I can't watch him suffer. So, we've decided to do this in the next couple of days.

I was wondering if anyone out there has gone through this, could you please help me. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for or want to hear. I just am so unclear on everything at this point. I'm sure it's normal to feel the guilt that you have to put down one of your best friends... but does it get easier after it's done? What's it like when you're present for the process... I guess I just want to know what to expect (if that makes any sense).

Also, I'm sorry for the repost of this. But I'm worried about my other dog, maggie. They've been together for about 10 years now. I know wondergirl and labman had said the best way to help her cope with beau's death is for her to smell and be around his body. Originally, I was going to do that. Unfortunately, all the places by my place wants to charge $150-200 for just to euthenize him. So, I've decided that I'll be taking him to the spca, where they'll do the euthenasia and creamation. But, that place is about an hour away and I can't take maggie with us. So, is there any other ways to help her?

I know I'm young and I have experienced a handful of my family and friends' deaths, but I can clearly say that what I feel now is so different from what I felt when it's the death of a person.

I don't know... maybe I'm posting this just to know that everything will be OK or for someone to talk to about this. I've tried with friends, but they just don't understand the bond one has with their dog.

Any help would be great!

[Clough]

It's so incredibly hard to put down a pet that you own, have taken care of for a long time, have shared so many things with and love! I have had to make the choice to do that a couple of times. It's very much like having your own child die. I realize the anguish and frustration that you feel. I know that there will be others who will come along who will sympathize with you in what you as well as your pet are going through.

[twinkiedooter]

I had my son's German Shepard die in my arms from being poisoned by the neighbor. It was not a fun thing for me but at least I felt better knowing she knew I was there and loved her. We buried her in the backyard sortly after she died.

Years before my older male German Shephard's back legs went and he was unable to walk or control himself and I had to have him put down at the vets. I didn't want to see this done and just left him there and went home. He was 12.

I loved both dogs dearly and hated to see them go. My son's shepard has come back to him many times in dreams though. So at least that's one bright thing to look forward to.

I've done both and I can't tell you which one hurt more. Being there or not being there. You need to decide which is best for you. Also the other dog will be heartbroken for a while but you need to give her more love and attention to help her at this time.

[Clough]

I keep the ashes of one of my cats on a shelf next to family portraits. I will never forget her.

[carolbcac]

First of all, don't let guilt burden you down about this. If you have given this dog a good home and a good life, then you should not feel guilty about giving him the gift of a dignified and peaceful death. I know this sounds awful, but while my mother was dying of cancer, I kept thinking what a shame it was that I could not do for her what I could do for a beloved pet. (Of course they would have thrown me out of the hospital if anyone knew I was even thinking that way). We can spare our pets those last painful and scary days or weeks. The decision is harder than the euthanasia process itself. Ask your vet or vet tech to walk you through the procedure so you know what to expect. I don't know what to tell you about staying with him. I usually hold mine and talk to them so they feel safe, then break down into a hopeless mess for two or three days after its over. (I tend to adopt older and abused animals so I have gone through this more times than I want to remember.) Depends on what you're emotionally able to handle.
As far as the other dog, letting her see and smell the dog after death is probably ideal, but if you can't do it, don't fret about it. Maggie knows Beau is sick; she probably knows he is dying. It doesn't mean it may not be hard for her, and she will pick up on your emotions too. Both of you are tougher than you think you are right now and you will get through this.
Please accept my sympathy, and God Bless.

[Sarah_the_vet_tech]

The members have posted some very kinds words on here. Don't feel guilty. If this was something you could have prevented you know you would have in a heartbeat. And no many people don't realize the bond that we have with our pets. My pets are my children and if I had to choose between watching them suffer or euthanizing them I would pick euthanasia. So don't beat yourself up over this. I have seen and helped euthanize many many animals. And I always thought "man I hope I go just like that." Its peaceful and quick. Whether you stay or not while its done is up to you. Its whatever you feel more comfortable with. Dogs seem to do better when the owner is with them. They feel safe and secure. And usually the vet or vet tech will talk to the animal with a very calm reassuring voice to let the dog know its OK. Lastly I just want to say that I'm sorry for the decision that has been laid upon you. Be strong and listen to your heart. You're the only one who knows what's right for your baby. Hope this helps. We all will be thinking of you.

[oneguyinohio]

I am sorry for you and the difficult times...

I wanted to write to say that, during the process, the pet is given medication to prevent pain. I am sorry if the rest of my post seems upsetting or too graphic. I will try to explain what I have witnessed, but if you have a weak stomach, please consider that I am only trying to prepare you for what you might see. It does take a strong person to remain with the pet. It does not mean that you are wrong if you decide not to. Every person has different strengths in life. My ex chose to remain outside with our child during the process, and both of them were able to find closure. My only regret is that I did not have the ashes returned to me. I kind of felt like I let my pet go into the unknown in that way. After having spent over 2500 dollars in trying to save her, and make her life easier, I did not have the extra money that it would have cost... So I had to ease my guilt through a realization that the pets sole was no longer part of the body. The body was just a shell that was no longer the pet.

If you decide to stay, be aware of some of the possible things you might experience. It is not uncommon for a pet to lose control of bodily functions and even for the contents of the stomach to be released. It is extremely sad, but at the same time, it is better than the pet having to suffer through to a much slower end. Our belief was that we helped the pet enjoy life as much as possible, but it reach a point where there could be no enjoyment due to the suffering. We knew, and believe that the pet was ready as well.

[rpg219]

I to had to go through this. We had to put down our 16 year old Maltipoo about three years ago due to cancer. I held her while she went. Our vet charged more to dispose of the body and we really preferred to take her home with us to bury her. It was very hard to deal with... holding her for about 30 minutes on our way home. Suggestion, if this is what you decide to do, either way, take towel with you.

I also had to go through this about 10 years ago. My Precious, got out right after I had surgery. Due to the damage, the vet said she needed to go... saving her would have been making her live a life of hell. With her, I also brought her home and buried her with the rest of our pets.

With the first dog, we had her with and Airedale for many, many years... the Airedale had no problems with the grieving period.

Aliang, good luck. And you have my deepest sympathies for what you are going through.

[ayashe]

What a toughie! I had to put my baby girl Paige down after 16 years of her faithful friendship. She just wasn't breathing well any more, and I didn't want to see her suffer and suffocate herself. I made the horribly hard decision to put her down, and my family all came by the house, took pictures with her, said good-bye and cried for hours. I decided to say in the room with her during the process, as well as a few of the children. I laid on the floor next to her, and held her. I don't want to offend anyone by this, but the vet's office did not prepare me for what was to happen. She voided her bladder on me (which I pushed into so my children would not see that she had done this) and she kept breathing well after she was given the medications. It was awful to watch, and the memory I pull up of her now, is that one first, the good ones follow. Having said this, I would be there again for any of my animals, but I am not fooled at the "peaceful" description every one tried to give me of that moment. For you to keep her, alive and suffering, would only be doing so for your comfort, you know what is best, as hard as it may be. The other dog will be fine, with your help. ( I had 2 other dogs, and yes they were sad for a few days, but recovered).. I hope this helps you, and may you and yours be blessed!

[dunno]

Here's a poem that helped me:

I will lend to you for awhile
A puppy, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
And to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
Or maybe for two or three
But will you, till I call him back
Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
And (should his stay be brief)
You'll always have his memories
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise that he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
In search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,"
For all the joys this pup will bring,
The risk of grief you'll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back
Much sooner than you've planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.
If, by your love, you've managed
My wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you've loved,
Cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
And know he loved you too.

-Author Unknown

[oneguyinohio]

I used to be involved with a Pet Sitting business, and upon the loss of a pet we would suggest an online site called "Rainbow Bridge"

I think this is a link to it...

Pet Loss Grief Support, Rainbow Bridge, Monday Candle Ceremony,

[aliang87]

I want to thank you all for your support, blessings, and help! Unfortunately, beau past away last night at home. The only good things are that he was able to be with all of us (including maggie) and that he's no longer in any pain. Being in law enforcement, I've had to deal with dead bodies... I know about not being able to control bodily functions. I don't know... this is definitely different from dealing with people. I feel like this is sooooo much worse, but I think that's because I have a connection with beau and not the victims (if that makes sense).

Today, we sent his body to get cremated. It's been hard and it's clear that maggie is upset about the situation. But, we all will be giving her all the love and support she needs to get through this difficult time.

Thank you all again and god bless!

[labman]

The Power of a Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie-
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find - it's your own affair-
But... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian Clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short time loan is as bad as a long-
So why in - Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Rudyard Kipling.