[foolish old girl]

Not living with husband at moment as he has issues with drink and gets violent when drunk (every weekend). I went out for meal with girlfriends on Friday, got back early so thought I would go to our pub to finish the evening off. I was driving, so not drinking. I rarely drink anyway. I walked in and he was standing in a corner with his mate and two females, who I know vaguely and I just watched his behaviour. He was all over her. People in the pub looked embarrassed. I just made him aware I was there then left with no bad scenes. He was absolutely drunk again.

I packed my remaining clothes and left our property. I have refused to see him as he can't see what is wrong, he said he was only having a giggle and fun. He blames both his exes for not seeing his various kids. He blames me for not seeing his most recent brood. He blames me for his alcohol problems. He has told so many people that I am bad that I now had to move out of our home town to a new town knowing no one. He earns about £50,000 per annum, yet we lived like pigs, no carpet, no curtains. I don't know where money gone to. Im up to my eyes in debt trying to care for a sick mother and my daugther. Is it me, am I mad like he tells everyone. Am I right to have been suspicious about his possible lies and cheating?

I feel sick when I think of all the times he disappeared and come back drunk. I feel sad that I have beat myself up because he told me I make him like this. His previous two relationships failed because of his drinking and violence and lying. I believed him when he said he had been though a hard life. He has sucked me dry.

Advice on my next move please?

[donf]

Dear lady,

You have zero to be foolish about, Take a great deal of pride from what you have been able to do.

Close the door on thjis man. He has done nothing to warrant you to be willing to become a target for an angry drunk.

You are out, stay out. Build your new world without him.

Get an attorney and hold him accountable for his actions and the support you need.

To me you are a hero, not a fool!

[kiki_doki]

If he has problem with alcohol and violence and has done with 2 other females then HE is the problem and not YOU! You are better off out of the relationship he has issues and needs to address them, so far however he has 3 (including you) failed relationships because of this. You alone are not going to be able to make him see where he is going wrong, he needs to see it for himself. You would be wasting your time/money/energy and you 'self' attemping to make him see, all of which would be far better spent on you daughter and mother, who need you and are probably far more grateful for your input!
He seems to have little or no regard for you or any of his children, he just spends £50 grand a year (practically, if you are in debt) on drink.

Don't be down (I know you will be for a bit) but know what you are doing is the best for you!! Keep reminding yourself of the reasons you left, this will make it an easier transition.
Good luck!

[George_1950]

He seems to be an emotionally sick man. Is he still within the period of warranty? If not, get a barracuda/lawyer and give him something to really drink about.

[BROCKSGIRL86]

It is not your falt that he drinks, he he didn't want to drink he should have put the drink down. Tell him that you will come back ONLY if he go to AA and tries to slow down on the drinking.