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teenLOVE · Jan 8, 2008, 03:13 PM

I've been going out with this guy for about 4 months now. He's totally in love. Like he tells everyone about me, is always around me, always wants to do something like hang out, and is always telling me that I'm his world. Being a teen, I think he's a little to in love. But going on, I recently started talking to a friend that I haven't talked to in 2 years. He's really sweet and cute. He's smart and loves to do the same activities as I do. He has a girlfriend that he's been going out for a while but is saying that they're not doing too well. Last night, we were on the phone for about 2 hours talking about everything. Compared to my boyfriend, I can actually talk to this guy about everything. He also told me that he likes me but doesn't want to do anything because he has a girlfriend. Not for long. 5 minutes after getting off, he called me back with an excited tone. He told me that he called up his girlfriend and told her that he would rather them be friends and she agreed. He was extremely happy. I'm so confused because I really like this guy but I have a boyfriend. Oh and another thing. My best friends, who I'm really close to and trust them with all my heart are also my boyfriend's friends. I'm scared that if I brake up with my boyfriend that my relationship with these people is going to be different. Yeah you might say that if there my friends they will understand, but it's different. There all guys and like they say, "Bros before hoes"! I need help and fast!

raggablue · Jan 8, 2008, 03:37 PM

You must be something else having all these guys jumping at you. You think you boy friend's too eager, but this new guy dumped his girl within 5 minuites?! How much more eager can you get? You obviously like him or you wouldn't be posting on here, but he was that quick to dump his g/f before so what if you two start dateing and you fall in love with him and he loses interest in you like he did his ex (she was OK with it so maybe he's quick in more than one way).
Personally I wouldn't risk what I have got on someone who might leave me at the drop of a hat, but I don't know how you feel towards your b/f. but you could tell him to lay off the worshipping for a bit maybe? Then see how you feel about the other one.

shygrneyzs · Jan 8, 2008, 03:37 PM

It is a risk you take - you will most likely have those kinds of risks in your life, it is the natural order of things.

So you weigh the balance here - you like this guy you are dating but you know he is more into you than you are into him. It is not love for you. Now this other guy is someone you could really develop a good relationship with. You have more in common, he is easier to talk to, etc.

You want the gentle break-up with the current boyfriend or do you still want to see him and possibly start seeing this other guy? Part of me says to take it very easy with this other guy - he is just getting out of a relationship. You are not totally sure how this girl is going to react when she finds out he is dating you. Same for your boyfriend - when you break up and then he finds out you are dating another guy right away. Give yourself some breathing space!

Have an honest discussion with your boyfriend and tell him that you do not think you two are going in the right direction. Maybe you feel smothered by him, maybe it is something else. Tell him that you wish him well but it will not be with you. Whatever you say, don't allow him to believe that you and him are still going to see other or have him hold onto any false hope.

Then honestly, what I would do, is just relax. Take a deep breath and then talk to the other guy. Keep it simple at first. Casual. Let this take it's natural time. See if this is for real or simply an infatuation.

raggablue · Jan 8, 2008, 03:47 PM

You just basically told her to cheat on this boy who is totally in love with her!! Being cheated on hurts like being stabbed, and like being stabbed and shot simultaneously if your in love. NOBODY deserves that. Although your right about talking to your boyfriend and not rushing any thing.
If you cheat on him you will most likely upset your friends aswel. So ask yourself if you can live without you friends AND your boyfriend before you do anything drastic

shygrneyzs · Jan 8, 2008, 06:26 PM

No, I never said she should cheat on her boyfriend. Read it - I said talk to her boyfriend and break off with him BEFORE trying to see this other guy. Geesz.. I did ask her what she wanted - to see both at the same time? I did not condone it. Some people, however, are successful at dating more than one person at a time. But you have to have honesty in all things for all people.

nkychic · Jan 8, 2008, 06:44 PM

First off, don't ever stay with anyone so that you don't lose touch with mutual friends. This action is unfair to both you and your boyfriend. If they are truly his friends they would be more mad at you for ruining his chance to find someone who loves him the way he loves them. If you don't love him or want to be with him, break it off. Be completely honest with him. However there is NO need to throw this other guy in his face. In all honesty I wouldn't pursue a relationship with the guy right away. It's never good to jump straight from one relationship to another. Hang out with him, go out with him, DATE him, but don't jump right into full fledged relationship mode. It sounds to me like you need to be single for a little while to find out what it is you truly want. If this "other" guy won't give you time, then he isn't worth it either. Take time to find out who you are and who you want. Don't force a relationship, let it happen. Good luck to you girl!

<3 Leslie

talaniman · Jan 8, 2008, 06:58 PM

Your not into your b/f, so let him go. That's first and foremost. The other guy, even though you like him, do you really want a guy who can break up, and want you in 5 minutes? Hey its your world.