[lorab915]

My ex-fiance and I were together for 5 years. He was deployed overseas for a year and wanted this relationship more than anything. Then when he came back, he just refused to see me, talk to me, anything. His family is very manipulative and controlling and would basically disown him if he were to do anything but live with Mom and Dad. He's 39 years old.

We had an incredible relationship. He says it's a once in a lifetime. I don't know how to move on. I live in my own little shell now. I drink more than I should and am very lonely. The thought of going out with others makes me sick. I feel like I would be cheating and I really don't have feelings for other men.

Why do I love a man who would do this to me? What's wrong with me?

I'm attractive, have a good job, am a good mother. But deep down inside I'm miserable.

Please help me. I'm 43 years old and life is passing me by.

Don't know what to do, where to turn.

[linds03]

Not sure what happened to him, but it sounds like something definitely snapped. When did this end? If it makes you feel any better I just ended a 5 year relationship with my ex for various reasons and now I completely regret it. Could have made it work... my thinking is that he will eventually come back to you. Maybe he needs some time after his deployment because of PTSD or something? If your relationship was as great as you say it was I would bet money that he'll realize what he lost. Are you willing to try it again if he does come back to you?? Be strong! Don't call or contact him in any way... he will wonder what your up to and wonder if you've moved on without him. This is what I think everyday and it makes you want that person even more. Give him time and space... but I do think he'll come around. I also know what you mean with the dating thing. I don't want another man to even look at me. Give yourself time and keep busy... otherwise you'll drive yourelf crazy thinking about it 24/7. best of luck with everything!!