[leanneb]

Me and my boyfriend love each other but he does not want sex any more at first we did it every other day sometimes twice on the same day but now its about once every 2 weeks I don't no what to do I tried every thing please help... leanne

[statesgirl]

How old are you?

[wackymb]

Hi, I know what your going through. Me and my husband had a baby 4yrs. Ago and I went 2 of those years without sex. He told me that he didn't want it. It was all good when we were dating. Anyway, he finally told me later on that he didn't want sex cause we fight all the time and when I yell or start fights that it's a turn off. And he has called me fat and told me that I needed to lose weight. Some guys don't like the way their women look and won't tell them. I just found that out. I finally stopped trying for a little while and then slowly he let me start cuddling with him and eventually we started having sex again. But, maybe 3 times a month. Which is good for me. I don't want it everyday or every week. Now he is back on the no sex crap. Just don't push him. Give him space. They will cave. Although, I had to be the one to put the moves on first. Then he will go along. I start by giving a bj while he is sleeping. I can tell that my husband loved to be woken up by that, cause of the way he would rub my arms or head. So, maybe try that. But, don't rush him. My guy hates it when I keep bringing it up. Act like it doesn't bother you. Then see what happens. And maybe he is stressed about something. Try talking to him and telling him how you feel and aske him to tell you how he feels and what is going on. Hope things work out for you.

[SKG0511]

me and my boyfriend love each other but he does not want sex any more at first we did it every other day sometimes twice on the same day but now its about once every 2 weeks i dont no what to do i tryed every thing please help .....leanne

I'm in a sexless relationship myself... it's a horrible feeling to feel unwanted by someone you love. I can't give advice but I would love some as well

[enigmagnetic]

Hi, I know what your going through. Me and my husband had a baby 4yrs. ago and I went 2 of those years without sex. He told me that he didn't want it. It was all good when we were dating. Anyways, he finally told me later on that he didn't want sex cause we fight all the time and when I yell or start fights that it's a turn off. And he has called me fat and told me that I needed to lose weight. Some guys don't like the way their women look and won't tell them. I just found that out. I finally stopped trying for a little while and then slowly he let me start cuddling with him and eventually we started having sex again. But, maybe 3 times a month. Which is good for me. I don't want it everyday or every week. Now he is back on the no sex crap. Just don't push him. Give him space. They will cave. Although, I had to be the one to put the moves on first. Then he will go along. I start by giving a bj while he is sleeping. I can tell that my husband loved to be woken up by that, cause of the way he would rub my arms or head. So, maybe try that. But, don't rush him. My guy hates it when I keep bringing it up. Act like it doesn't bother you. Then see what happens. And maybe he is stressed about something. Try talking to him and telling him how you feel and aske him to tell you how he feels and what is going on. Hope things work out for you.

I hate to say this. This isn't all men, but men like for a woman to take care of themselves. In all relationships I've been in I have facilitated that personally. Having my girl work out with me. Supporting her in healthy activities what not. I also hate to say you shouldn't just say oh he will cave in. You got to find out what it is he wants. How do you do that? You simply communicate. You ask, "honey what would be a turn on for you?". Then you try and reach a compromise. IF you don't try it won't get better. Sadly, this is at times why a person strays. You got to keep it hot and fresh. Try reading some books on the matter.

[wackymb]

I hate to say this. This isn't all men, but men like for a woman to take care of themselves. In all relationships I've been in I have facilitated that personally. Having my girl work out with me. Supporting her in healthy activities what not. I also hate to say you shouldn't just say oh he will cave in. You gotta find out what it is he wants. How do you do that? You simply communicate. You ask, "honey what would be a turn on for you?". Then you try and reach a compromise. IF you don't try it won't get better. Sadly, this is at times why a person strays. You gotta keep it hot and fresh. Try reading some books on the matter.

I tried asking him what turns him on. He always says he doesn't know. What am I suppose to do then. I did work out and I am in the process of trying again. I am constantly trying to find ways to make myself look good for him. He is one of them guys that don't really tell you what he likes, etc... He does't support me in anything I do. It's like we're not even married. And as far as communication, we fight so we always just try to avoid each other so something don't trigger one on. We don't do that all the time but, if we feel tension between each other, then we just don't talk until one of us says something first. We have a weriod relationship and I am dealing with crap right now. And come on, who really wants sex anyway when your not getting along, right? We don't do that stupid make up sex, that doesn't help anything. We use to watch porn together. That's one thing he likes. Anyway, thanks for your input.

[enigmagnetic]

I tried asking him what turns him on. He always says he doesn't know. What am I suppose to do then. I did work out and I am in the process of trying again. I am constantly trying to find ways to make myself look good for him. He is one of them guys that don't really tell you what he likes, etc..... He does't support me in anything I do. It's like we're not even married. And as far as communication, we fight so we always just try to avoid each other so something don't trigger one on. We don't do that all the time but, if we feel tension between each other, then we just don't talk til one of us says something first. We have a weriod relationship and I am dealing with crap right now. And come on, who really wants sex anyways when your not getting along, right? We don't do that stupid make up sex, that doesn't help anything. We use to watch porn together. Thats one thing he likes. Anyways, thanks for your input.

It's obvious you're beyond the point where you can do this alone. You need couples counseling. Do it for your kids.

[wackymb]

It's obvious you're beyond the point where you can do this alone. You need couples counseling. Do it for your kids.

I already asked him if he wanted to do counseling. He said that stuff was stupid and gay. Now what?

[Wondergirl]

I already asked him if he wanted to do counseling. He said that stuff was stupid and gay. Now what?

If he won't go, then you go alone. You will learn all kinds of things and begin to get your life figured out.

[wackymb]

If he won't go, then you go alone. You will learn all kinds of things and begin to get your life figured out.

Thanks, I think I will look into that. I am really hating myself right now. I know that I am driving him away and it hurts. I really need to get help, right? I use to think I might have depression. I looked online and did a test and it said that I needed to see a doctor. And I am also realizing that my past as a child and seeing how my mom was to my day is how I am to my husband. How do I fix that and control it? I am not close to my mom or dad. I lived with my grandma my whole life. Part of my problems are from the past and some are now.

[enigmagnetic]

Thanks, I think I will look into that. I am really hating myself right now. I know that I am driving him away and it hurts. I really need to get help, right? I use to think I might have depression. I looked online and did a test and it said that I needed to see a doctor. And I am also realizing that my past as a child and seeing how my mom was to my day is how I am to my husband. How do I fix that and control it? I am not close to my mom or dad. I lived with my grandma my whole life. Part of my problems are from the past and some are now.

Just go to therapy. That's what you do.

[wackymb]

I have the opposite problem. My girlfriend wants sex and I don't. I'm trying to find a way to keep her in my life without having to have sex with her. Is sex really an obligation in a relationship?

Well, to us women sex is one way that our men show us that they love us when they don't really show it in any other way. My husband had me go two years without it. But, did I leave? No, but I almost did. Now he is doing it again. I almost cheated to.
Let me ask you this since you are a guy and maybe it will help me understand where my husband is coming from... Why don't you want sex? How long are you going to do this? What is the problem with her for you not want to have sex with her? Or is there something wrong with you and just don't want to say something?
It hurts us women when you guys do this. And to me Sex is part of a relationship. I know that its not all but, it's one way to show each other you love them without having to buy stuff or constantly saying I love you. Do you guys fight a lot? Me and my husband do and part of the reason is because he started this no sex thing and honestly I can't tell you if we're going to work out. So, if you want to keep your girlfriend and not have her cheat on you then you need to figure out why you don't want sex and see if it's fixable. Please tell me your point of view on this since you're a guy. Maybe you and my husband are in the same boat. Thanks.

[wackymb]

Mostly it's just laziness on my part. Sex is too much physical activity and I don't like to exercise. I get tired very easily after working 10 hours in one day. At the very most I'd be willing to have sex for 35 minutes and then go to sleep. 90% of the time I fall asleep during sex but my girlfriend wants to have sex for 12 hours. I'm not sexually compatiable with most women because I want it less frequently than the average man.

Furthermore I have a masturbation addiction that I've been into since I was 17 years old. I started out masturbating because I couldn't get a girlfriend at that time. I became sexually frustrated. It's unfortunate that what I used as a temporary fix until I could find a girlfriend turned into an addiction and a compulsion.

Is your husband addicted to pornography or masturbation? I know for me masturbation has become the replacement for sexual intimacy when I'm in a relationship. I have no problem going 40 weeks without sex all the time but I can't go 40 hours without the urge to masturbate. I really have a problem.

If I really must have sex with my girlfriend in order to keep her around then I will but it will only be 1 hour tops. After that I just want to take a nap.

I have to disagree that sex is an important aspect of a relationship. There's many men out there who get married just for the sole purpose of having sex especially in the christian religion. Does that prove that they love their wives? nope.

There's other ways men can show their love such as giving her emotional support during hard times, cooking for her, cleaning the house spick and span so that she'll have a nice surprise when she gets home from work, taking her on surprise road trips, etc.

Does your husband take initiative to help out around the house by cooking and cleaning? If he does consider yourself lucky because many wives have the opposite problem where all husbands want to do is sit at home all day and be couch potatoes and she loses the sexual attraction for him because he's lazy and doesn't take initiative to help her around the house.

You are better off being with a hard working husband who may lack interest in sex than to be with a deadbeat husband who only thinks about sex all day long. I just hope you don't end up leaving your current husband for a deadbeat man just because he is more than eager to meet your sexual needs.

Thank you. You got me thinking. I shouldn't care about the whole sex thing. No, I don't think he has an addiction to porn and I've never seen him mastorbating. Every once in a while I may see a site that he pulled up on the internet about porn. But, that doesn't bother me. I'd rather him looking at girls that way than the other. Catch my drift? No, he doesn't help around the house. The only time he helps is when his parents are coming to visit. Witch he only does the outside which I do to. I do everything. I know girls that won't mow the yard, I do. I do everything for the kid. Maybe once in a blue moon, he will get the clothes out of the dryer for me but, doesn't fold them, leaves them on the bed for me. And cooking, if I can I try to keep him out of the kitchen. He makes such a damn mess. And never cleans up after himself. There will be days that I haven't been off my feet and I still cook dinner and he doesn't offer to clean the dishes. He even leaves his plate on the counter waiting for me to clean it. He is lazy. He only works 3 days a week for 12 hours. That's what he chose and he likes it. I don't know. I love my husband and really don't want to leave but, it's not fair to me. He doesn't show in any way that he does love and care for me. Doesn't buy me birthday/mother's day/christmas gifts. Nothing. I get disappointment every holiday. Even Valentines. He's only bought me one thing for val. Day and that was when we first dated. Over 4 years ago. But, I am going to try to hang in there. But, how do I know if he is willing to fix it as much as I am? I'm not going to be with someone if they don't want to be with me. Well, it's like 3am and I have to get up early. In-laws coming to visit. Thanks for your input again. I think it was helpful.