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Nalomeli23 · Oct 9, 2007, 11:13 PM

Hello everyone and I hate to be entering this room on a brash note, but I am in serious need of advice. I was guided to this website because of some much sought information. I am 25 weeks pregnant with my second child. I have a boyfriend but around the time that I conceived I was heavily involved with my ex boyfriend whom I've been on and off with for close to four years. The affair that I had was intentional and though my boyfriend at time is a wonderful guy and I love him, my ex and I have been madly in love with each other since we met but our "relationship" always connects at unconvient times. Clearly I can not determine the father of this child is. My ex knows but we decided it would be best if he didn't involve himself until the birth of this child and a DNA test ensues. On the other hand my boyfriend (who by the way isn't thrilled at all by my choice in having this baby), though he knows that I've cheated before, but not exact how many times or for how long, doesn't know a thing. Meanwhile I've been dropping hints about it, but because were not the verbal especially because of his desire for me not to have this baby, he really hasn't picked up on it. Honestly what should I do? Even I know to wait until the baby is born would be a mistake, though I run the risk of losing this relationship with him, what should my next move be?

grammadidi · Oct 9, 2007, 11:33 PM

You really do need to be open and honest with this fellow if you care for him at all. The relationship may end, but at least you aren't building a relationship from a lie. I think you just need to sit him down and tell him the truth, answer all questions without getting upset or angry, express what you want to do about it and ask him what his thoughts are.

Good luck!

Hugs, Didi

Bluerose · Oct 10, 2007, 01:19 AM

Nalomeli23,

You would be doing yourself a great favour to listen to this lady.

grammadidi,

Hi! Everything worked out for my sister. Got full custody of the kids. Everyone looking a lot happier. And my grandson is doing great. Thanks again.

grammadidi · Oct 10, 2007, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

Nalomeli23,

You would be doing yourself a great favour to listen to this lady.

grammadidi,

Hi! Everything worked out for my sister. Got full custody of the kids. Everyone looking a lot happier. And my grandson is doing great. Thanks again.

Thank you Rose! I was so happy to read your update! You have made my day/night/morning?? :D I was away for a long time, so I wondered. I'm especially glad your grandson is doing so well.

Hugs, Didi

macksmom · Oct 10, 2007, 05:19 AM

There is no other way to go than to be honest. Why put of the inevitable?

You are going to have to tell him once the baby is born anyway... you might as well tell him now... his reactions are going to be the same, but it's better if it's done before the baby is born so the baby isn't surrounded with new emotions of anger and resentment.