[scrittipolitti]

Hey,

I've been wandering aorund this site and found lots of useful advice but now I think I need something abit more personalised so I'm writing in...

My story (as brief as possible)

approx. two years ago I met a girl who basically fell in love with me and let me know it. I had a girlfriend at the time, we broke up (mainly because of this new girl). After about six months we got togther properly... was long distance for a while but at christmas I moved back and we got quite serious (too serious.. ). Both very busyt and stressed, I began to take her for granted, I guess, and stopped communicating with her properly. About three months ago I came home late and drunk one night and she just broke down, crying, saying she was unhappy, that she needed space... well we met the next day, she was still distraught, I said I thought we could work through things but if she needed spaace fine... left her for three days, we got back in contact... I probably thought everything was cool at this stage and put too much pressure on her... well she said she needed space again about a week later... I left her alone, though did send flowers (saying good luck with her work... probably bad move)... I rang her when she didn't respond and we agreed to met... she said she wanted to see other people, that I had damaged her self esteem, made her feel unattractive...

At this point I was in pieces, I moved all my stuff out of her place and broke off all contact with her. I realise that I treated her badly (I've actually been seeing a counsellor to work through that crap) but I still love her... anyway I didn't contatc her for a month, then I texted her, she replied a day later so I just said I was back from my holidays in one piece and left her... I bumped into her on the street about a week later and it was friendly (ish)... she emailed a week later saying her found clothes belonging to me and asking to meet, I said I was busy and would ring later... did that about two weeks later and we met last week for lunch, she was quite remote but I didn't talk about 'us', just put out a good vibe (which is true as I've been doing a lot since we broke up). I left her just aying see you around... which I did when I bumped into her again the next day (ahhh... fate), was friendly and chilled and talked for two minutes before saying had to go (which as true). Anyway she emailed me on Friday for a fairly spurious reason (asking for names of bars in a town I used to live in for a friend she knows). I left it a day and then responded yesterday, giving names and being jokey...

Basically I'm trying to figure why she is contacting me. She hasn't met anyone else serious, I've been out on a few dates and met some cool girls but nothing serious either. I do still love her and want her back in my life, I've changed a lot (I think), I realise what messed things up between us... but I also realise that saying that to her would ruin any chance... I guess I'm trying to figure if I was right to respond at all to her contact.. and if I should contact her again or just leave it all in her court... she is quite a serious, thoughful girl with an important job, her own place, etc. and I don't think she would toy with me (she has been very straight throughout)

We are both in our mid-twenties and one of reasons she broke up was because of a lack of commitment on my part... though obviously the loss of attraction was THE reason she broke up with me... I've lost someone very important through all this and really want her back but have made no moves since we broke up for fear of saying the wrong thing (even responding to her email I felt like I was saying the wrong thing... )... I refuse to beg her to come back, I only want her back if she loves and wants me but I realise this won't happen unless she sees a bit of me, and that I honestly have changed (I've a better job, a much nicer apartment, some proper future plans for ME (not us))... the 'friends' word has never been used between us (although we have lots of mutual friends) and I don't want to go down that road but I feel like I need to open some channels of communication with her to have any chance... any advice?