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MissingHim2Much · Sep 30, 2007, 07:51 PM

I for one know that my ex has done some really unforgivable things in the past couple months but in all honesty if he could convince me he was genuinly sorry I would probably take him back. I'm just curious how many of you dumpees would take back your ex's even after 2, 4, 6 months? That includes the ones that left for someone else or the ones that needed a break etc. etc. ONLY HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

GlindaofOz · Sep 30, 2007, 07:56 PM

Honestly, in my last long relationship I would've taken him back up until 6 months after the breakup. However I didn't go no contact until 3 months after our breakup I think had we gone no contact right away it would have been much more quick.

Though it really did take those 6 months for me to see that he wasn't the right guy for me. I think once I figured that out it made it easier to let go. I also started seeing him for who he really was and that also helped You can too often fool yourself in a relationship and even afterwards that this person was totally perfect but after awhile you lose the shine.

star3114 · Sep 30, 2007, 08:04 PM

With my one ex, I dumped him... so I was glad to be rid of him. Once I made up my mind to cut him loose, I didn't look back... other than to remind myself not to fall for one like that again.

Biggie · Sep 30, 2007, 08:06 PM

Get a little confidence in yourself and find someone better. All guys aren't like him.

MissingHim2Much · Sep 30, 2007, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Honestly, in my last long relationship I would've taken him back up until 6 months after the breakup. However I didn't go no contact until 3 months after our breakup I think had we gone no contact right away it would have been much quicker.

Though it really did take those 6 months for me to see that he wasn't the right guy for me. I think once I figured that out it made it easier to let go. I also started seeing him for who he really was and that also helped You can too often fool yourself in a relationship and even afterwards that this person was totally perfect but after awhile you lose the shine.

I like the way you put that Glinda, after 2 months he's not near as shiney as he used to be and I can't wait until he's completely dull and shine free LOL

madaman · Sep 30, 2007, 09:02 PM

Honestly if I could take back the person who I fell in love with, I probably would. I face the reality that that person is gone forever (or never existed). I guess what I told myself was that I could take her back if she came to me with absolute 100% proof that nothing like that would ever happen again, a proof I know doesn't exist. I also try to avoid thinking about it now, because it leads down a dark path of 'what ifs'.

MissingHim2Much · Oct 1, 2007, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by madaman

Honestly if I could take back the person who I fell in love with, I probably would. I face the reality that that person is gone forever (or never existed). I guess what I told myself was that I could take her back if she came to me with absolute 100% proof that nothing like that would ever happen again, a proof I know doesnt exist. I also try to avoid thinking about it now, because it leads down a dark path of 'what ifs'.

I know what you mean madaman the path of what if's are probably the hardest part of all this. Sometimes I find myself saying what if I had done this or done that but then I get mad at myself because I didn't do a damn thanggg to deserve what he did to me. I was nothing but good to this man and I know that the things he did are all on him. The most satisfying part for me is knowing he will eventually kick himself in the @$$ for letting me go. And someday he will realize what we had can't be found just around the corner, he may never find it again. Sucks to be him hehehe

brookeleigh · Oct 8, 2007, 11:54 PM

Well Im not sure.. Im my case Im trying to just keep no contact with him at all. New number. Blocked his emails.. everything. So I would just find someone better! Go pretty yourself up.. hit up the gym and party with the girls. He'll be on his hands and knees. :)

MissingHim2Much · Oct 9, 2007, 12:15 AM

Originally Posted by brookeleigh

Well Im not sure..Im my case Im trying to just keep no contact with him at all. New number. Blocked his emails..everything. So I would just find someone better! Go pretty yourself up..hit up the gym and party with the girls. He'll be on his hands and knees. :)

I've done all that stuff. Not that he would notice, he's far to busy with his new girlfriend to notice me, but that's all good because others are. Wow what your boyfriend did is so horrible. I get a little comfort knowing that mine at least left me first so he could sleep with this new girl.

brookeleigh · Oct 9, 2007, 12:17 AM

Yeah I know it is so horrible... I cannot believe he betrayed me like this... none of my friends or his friends even knew the girl he was having the affair with me on.. now he denys it to his friends and he acts like it doesn't even affect him... hes off in college partying it up and sleeping around.. and I was his high school love.. I just don't understand.. but I guess I wasn't considering the whole time he was cheating on me.. boys have a way of making you loose all yourself confidence... for you I would suggest finding someone new, make him jealous!

MissingHim2Much · Oct 9, 2007, 12:23 AM

Hey is the girl that told you this trustworthy? I mean could she be lying? I'm just about to a point where I can start dating again I think. I've been pretty messed up the past couple months over this but I think I'm finally healing now.

brookeleigh · Oct 9, 2007, 12:26 AM

well the girl was a random girl I remember at the beginning of our relationship someone told me hey your boyfriend cheated on you with this jessica girl I ignored it because I didn't believe it but then I came across to her myspace page and found her and asked her and she wasn't going to tell me about them at first but I begged it out of her. I trust her because she told me the places they would have sex ands its crazy because those were like our special places.. it sucks so badly. The things he would say to her as well. But I guess she has been having sex with him for three years.. so just when he started dating me he never ended with her. I feel bad for her.. but ! He had a girlfriend which was me. He was like family to my family and everyone loved us together.. I just don't understand how he lived this private life?

MissingHim2Much · Oct 9, 2007, 12:33 AM

Wow I know what you mean. I was with my ex for 7 years and I thought I knew him inside and out. I would have never thought he would just leave me for someone else. If someone would've told me that 3 and a half months ago I would've said they were crazy.

brookeleigh · Oct 9, 2007, 12:36 AM

Oh gosh yeah I have no idea how you are feeling.. try to get the bastard back though if you want him back that bad.. I wouldn't consider it though.. he shouldn't have kept it going for so long.. it hurts but you grow from relationships and that's what you will do, grow. Every down in life is just a experience and I "well I know what to do next time" sort of thing. Find someone worth having. And one day you'll decide to date again. And one day you'll go out on your first date and it will likely be a disaster. And then you'll either force yourself to continue dating or you'll decide that you aren't ready to date but you are ready to be out amongst people again. And many of us will have some quick reconcillations with your ex's. Many of us won't. But one day, it won't matter as much. Because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And you'll begin to be able to think of life possibly without that person and not dissolve into a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

MissingHim2Much · Oct 9, 2007, 12:47 AM

I'm getting there thank God. It's been slow and painful but I get better everyday.

brookeleigh · Oct 9, 2007, 12:49 AM

Good... time always heals everything.. well its like one in the morning where I live.. So I'm off.. I got to get up early and hit the road. Im going to Laguna Beach for vacation should be nice after stressing so much!

Triysle · Jun 13, 2009, 05:43 PM

I think for me, if I could get a chance to sit down and genuinely sort out exactly what went wrong and where, I would be much more satisfied with the situation. I probably would not try another relationship with her, but I probably would let her back into my life again, as a friend (distant at first, of course).

Ultimately, you have to accept the situation for what it is. Waiting around for someone to contact you will only hinder the process. We all ask ourselves that very same question - the way to deal with it is to realize that you don't need their apologies or their explanations.

It's really tough, I know. I am still finding little things that remind me of her, and I keep meeting new people that are somehow connected to her. However, I do not allow them to control my thoughts or my life, nor do I hope that one day everything will come out into the open.

So no, I would not take her back if she tried to have a discussion with me about the past... but I would respect and appreciate her effort enough to let her back into my life. However, I do not hold out hope for that day. In fact, I'm to the point where I prefer her out of it for good. It's not a vindictive thing; it's just easier to keep my life sorted out and on track without the past coming up to distract me.

~ Tee