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talaniman · Sep 19, 2007, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by KingofKings102

Well about the head-case thing.. she does have mental problems..

She suffers from bi-polarity, and she was border line anorexic once. She's been in a mental institution once for "self mutilation"
I may be bi-polar but it's unknown. I was the only person that she ever went out with that was aware of her entire past basically, and yeah it did scare me at first, but then I realized I still loved her.
So I'm going to do the NC thing... no Calls, No emails, No Texts, no NOTHING.
In an estimate how long should I wait, as I started giving her the space she so desired today basically.

For the rest of your life.

I won't answer after, 1-3 calls, but after 4-5 then I will.

Anymore tips?

Disappear from her life to avoid confusion and let you heal enough to look at this situation clearly.

KingofKings102 · Sep 19, 2007, 03:23 PM

All right sooo a couple of minutes ago I was on AIM talking to my friend and she signed on. I didn't IM her, she IM'd me and said hi. I didn't want to be rude so I said hi back as much as I tried not to. She asked what's up and I said nothing really. Then she started a conversation.

We talked, and eventually she said "dont think I hate you or anythin, I'm just exhausted"
I asked why and she said "i havnt been sleepin"
I asked why not and she said "ive been talkin to nick til like 1 AM because he has verizon so we can talk for free"
I said ohhh.. I see...
and then this is what happened:
Her (5:40:56 PM): yeah me n him can talk for free cause he has verizon
Me (5:41:15 PM): ohhhh
Me (5:41:21 PM): that's good
Me (5:41:23 PM): unlike with me =x
Me (5:41:28 PM): all your minutes went down the drain
Her (5:41:34 PM): alwell it was worth it

Then we talked a little more and she said that she doesn't regret it or hate me or anything. Then I said she should get some sleep and she went to take a nap.
All right so then I asked my friend what he thought about that. He said it's a good thing, because then its like she doesn't regret it and she still cares. Also, with the whole story it seems like she's confused right now and used him as a rebound because she didn't want to be alone while she works things out. He thinks he's a rebound because he works with her, lives near her, has a truck (and she loves trucks), and can talk for hours with her.

Anyone think this is the case, because when he said that might be a possibility I felt better, and he thought that it won't last more then a month between them and me and her would be talking things out for the better. So basically, NC has been ruined.

Ash123 · Sep 19, 2007, 03:35 PM

"talking all night with Nick..."

If that is the NEW GUY then...Holy Sh--!!

... you got dissed man, but you are the man if you can take that.

Is nick someone else?

So much for NC - man... you may not be ready for all this yet... hang in there.
How old are you?

KingofKings102 · Sep 19, 2007, 04:33 PM

I'm 16...
I can take it mainly because after she said that she said she didn't regret being with ME. And yeah, Nick is the new guy. They work together, he has a truck so he can take her places and lives closer to her then I do.

What should I do now considering that NC has been broken? I'm still dealing with it and when I was talking to her I felt better. I'm hoping my buddys are right about him basically being a rebound while she thinks what she wants. I mean, originally it WAS just called a break.

GlindaofOz · Sep 19, 2007, 05:05 PM

Get right back on the horse man.

NC is not about being rude or mean its about doing the right thing for you. When she IMs you IGNORE HER. Its honestly not that hard. Just like when she calls you don't answer it's the same thing.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 19, 2007, 06:36 PM

I'm not understanding why when people say they don't want to be with you, you don't take it as that. Why you're thinking, "she does ot eally mean this"
This girl has moved on. Whether it's a rebound or not, she has moved on.
Do you want her to come back next month (which I don't believe she will) and then you're waiting for the other shoe to drop and she leaves you again? Are you willing to subject yourself to this again? Where is yourself esteem and pride?
This girl is gone, you may as well accept it and move on. You will survive.

talaniman · Sep 20, 2007, 10:34 AM

Your contacting her keeps false hope alive and does not allow you to move on or see that she has. Get back to no contact and do not allow her to contact you. She is having a great time while you wait, so stop waiting on maybe they break up, and she comes back to you. I doubt she comes back at all since your sitting in the friendzone, available whenever she needs, she has nothing to come for. She can just find another guy with a better truck. Stop this and move on.

KingofKings102 · Sep 21, 2007, 03:24 PM

All right so I haven't talked to her today
Feel good
And I've moved on basically
Tonight I made plans to chill with one of my girl friends that my -ex wouldn't let me talk to
Hope I'm doing the right thing

Homegirl 50 · Sep 21, 2007, 03:32 PM

Just don't jump into one relationship while you're still hurting over this one. It is not fair to the other person.

MayMsredrose · Sep 22, 2007, 03:21 AM

Simply... do not make someone your priority when you are an option for them... am sorry to say so but she never loved you... and she was not honest with you... and I think she was even cheating on you that night when she said that she is going to that party... she does not deserve your love... move on with your life... find yourself someone who deserve your love... your problem is that you love her and does not accept or believe that she dupmped you after all what you have doen to her... but this is not hurting anyone but you... love yourself more... PLEASE STOP CONTACTING HER BY ANY WAY OF COMMUNICATION... IGNORE HER...

Take care of yourself.

Ms. Redrose

KingofKings102 · Sep 22, 2007, 04:54 AM

Yeah I have a sinking feeling she might have cheated on me
I'm not hurting as much anymore it's more of one of those things that pops into my mind every so often and makes me feel bad. Right now I am talking to someone else, but not about a relationship yet.

KingofKings102 · Sep 24, 2007, 03:27 AM

UPDATE:
All right after seeing someone else for 2 days word got word to my -ex. She IM'd me on AIM last night and asked me if it were true and I said yes it was. Then she goes "I really f***** up my life I guess." I asked why and she said "because I left you for this guy" and I said "okay, no online crap, show me you want me back, call me if you do." 5 minutes later my cell phone rings, she's crying telling me she wants me back.
NOW what do I do?

talaniman · Sep 24, 2007, 06:40 AM

She broke up with you for another guy, Remember how that felt? Hears your with someone else, and now is begging you to come back. Could it be that if things didn't work out with him, she could count on good old you to be there? Could it be she now has to give you more hope, or else you will drift away? You have a lot to think about and hope you are seeing clearly. After all the manipulation you still want her back. Your misery, your pain (4pages to be exact), what do you think??

GlindaofOz · Sep 24, 2007, 07:06 AM

Talaniman is absolutely right. She FREAKED when she got that news. I've seen it happen over and over again. The person who leaves wants to keep that ex at arms length just in case things don't go the way they want them to then they can go back to that nice, comfy relationship.

She dropped you like a bad habit for someone else. She told you that she doesn't love you anymore. She flat out said she had no feelings for you anymore now that she hears you were out with another girl all of a sudden those feelings are back?

This is another manipulation.

Also - aren' you supposed to be in no contact? You should've just ignored her IM. She is only pulling you back in to keep herself happy. She will do this again. She WILL do this again.

ConfusedandLost · Sep 24, 2007, 07:11 AM

Talaniman and Glinda are absolutely right. She is only trying to boost her own ego and morale at this point, while destroying yours. Ignore her... learn from all of this pain that you have experienced. Ask yourself "how many times can you handle this pain over and over?". I'm a pretty strong guy and I know for a fact I could not do it again...

KingofKings102 · Sep 24, 2007, 04:03 PM

But what should I do NOW, I've ended up in a sticky situation... becauseee last night she called crying and said she wanted me back, and she still loved me and something she did made me think. And it's true apparently, she's slept 2 hours alll week and she's up crying most of the time after that new kid 'bugs her'. She even went out and bought a guns n' roses shirt so she'd feel still attached to me because I'm like obsessed with them.. and we agreed that she has a deadline of Tuesday night to decide what she's doing... and Tuesday we agreed to sit down face to face and talk. But today afterschool I called at 3 and she was like "i don't know now..because someone told me you were cheating on me during our relationship" and that isn't true at allll, I'm just not that type of guy
So what should I do?

Pretend that never happened when she calls later
Ask who told her and ensure its not true
Or what
Right now I'm trying not to go with no contact.. not until I find out what's happening tonight..

GlindaofOz · Sep 24, 2007, 04:58 PM

She told all you needed to know with that statement.

She is not serious about getting back together. She is panicking now that you are actually agreeing to move forward.

I suggest you forget about HER. Next time she calls DO NOT ANSWER. Please tell me how many times we have to tell you this for it to sink in and I will do so.

nkychic · Sep 24, 2007, 04:58 PM

Don't go back with her now. She's already a) showed signs of distrust in you and b) given you reason not to trust her. Listen to what everyone is saying. Close that chapter! You don't have to ignore her, be honest with her. Tell her that she hurt you, but that you are fine now. Tell her you are going to move on and hope that she can do the same. Good luck!

KingofKings102 · Sep 24, 2007, 05:07 PM

All right, I'm going to keep moving on. I still love her and it hurts but I have to. There's nothing I can do.

GlindaofOz · Sep 24, 2007, 05:11 PM

She is toying with you. Have you ever seen a cat play with a bug or a mouse? They won't kill it because its too much fun to bat it around. Its only once they become absolutely bored with the idea of any further play that they will kill their prey.

Keep that in mind.

And what? DON'T ANSWER HER CALLS, IMs, TEXTS, EMAILs, FAX, SINGING TELEGRAM NOTHING.