[susy]

Hi I am susana and I am kind of concerned of what my mother said the other day, well here it is. I'm married and have a son of 2 years old. My husband's family is what is making my mother concerned and have me worried. My husband's brothers are homosexuals. The oldest one is lesbian, the second one is transsexual, the third one is gay, and the last one of 11 years old is surrounded by them. I used to visit my mother in law every Friday, but since my mother told me that I should not take my son to that house, where everybody is homosexual I started to feel really uncomfortable there. She said to me that my son doesn't need that environment, so I didn't want to hear her, but I started to think about it, and I'm thinking about avoiding closure to my husband's family. All of them didn't finish high school, and they seem to care little about the future, since they just work and don't save money. The transsexual one has a night life that I don't respect. I have always avoided any communication with her because of her dirty life. However, I never thought about getting my son away from them. I would just visit my mother in law when none of her sons are in the house. I have been trying to do some research about homosexuality, whether it is OK or not to relate a child to these people, but I can't come up with an answer. What do you think? Should I keep avoiding any contact with my husband's family or should I just forget about it? I have nothing against homosexuals. I respect them, but if that is going to affect my son's development, I want to take actions now. Please respond.
Susana
September 14, 2007

[Wondergirl]

What do you think your son would learn while being around homosexuals?

[GlindaofOz]

If they are kind, loving, compassionate people then I don't see the harm.

What's worse him being around loving family members or taught to hate people on the basis of their sexual orientation?

The person who your child should be kept away from is your mother. If you don't want those values taught to your kids be careful. If she spends time with your child alone God only know what she is saying.

If you do not share these beliefs the best thing you can do is show your child how to be tolerant and that bigotry and hatred are awful qualities.

[J_9]

my husband's brothers are homosexuals. The oldest one is lesbian,

Maybe I am exhausted after only 4 hours of sleep in the last 40 hours. But aren't lesbians usually 2 women? I didn't think men could be lesbians.

[shygrneyzs]

Are you afraid that your son would be unduly influenced by their lifestyles or that they would try and recruit your son to their lifestyles?

As far as I know, and I will admit I do not know more than a couple dozen people in an alternative lifestyle, they do not go around soliciting from children. I think it would be important for you to allow the interactions. To hold him back - isn't he going to wonder why he never sees this aunt or that uncle? The part about how they never have succeeded in life, that would be a lesson to your son that he should apply himself in school and beyond.

Talk to your husband about this. If he shares your concerns, then you both need to address what you are going to do. If you two disagree, then you still need to sit down and talk through this. Also remember, this is your child and your husband's family. Your Mother may be voicing her own fears here and thinking that your son will somehow "catch" the lifestyles embraced by some of your in-laws. That is not possible.

[nicespringgirl]

Maybe I am exhausted after only 4 hours of sleep in the last 40 hours. But aren't lesbians usually 2 women? I didn't think men could be lesbians.

Um... english is not my first language but... yea... I THINK LESBIANS ARE WOMEN TOO!! :confused:

[sGt HarDKorE]

Susy, why block them off from them if they are loving and caring?

Think a long time about whether you want to stay away from them because of your mother or yourself.

What is wrong with homosexuals? Nothing. They bleed, smile, laugh, play, and can help you raise your child.

The only reason to not see them is because of what they do, not because of who they are.

Hating homosexuals is like being racist, one day everyone will be looked at the same and parents like you need to help your child understand that it is OK. What if your child turns out to be gay? (Im not saying he will be turned gay, as I do not think it is a choice) If he thinks you do not like homosexuals he may not open up to you.

[Wondergirl]

SGT -- my computer burped... And if he "turns out gay," it won't be because of hanging out with his uncles.

[Homegirl 50]

I don't think she said anything about hating them, her question was should she expose her son to their lifestyle.
If I had a girl friend who I know was a slut, and was not very discreet about what she did and where, I would not have my child around her. There are just some things kids don't need to see. The same with homosexuals. As long as they are not doing sexual stuff around him I would not have a problem.

[macksmom]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your child around homosexuals.

You speak of 2 different issues... one about not wanting your child around them because they are gay... the second is because of them not finishing high school etc. I hope you are not trying to relate the two issues. Just because they are gay does not mean that was why they didn't finish school. And as far as a "night life" goes... many heterosexuals have just as bad "night lifes"... but as long as it is not affecting your child then what does it matter what they do during their social time?

Homosexuality is not something you can "catch"... your child is not going to see them and say "oh hey that looks cool, I think I will be gay too"... it doesn't work that way.

If anything your child will be blessed to have a higher education, and be more open minded because he will be educated on the differences in people, and how great love is between ANYONE.

I have many many homosexual friends and they have all been around my daughter since the day she was born. I know whole-heartedly I could put her life in their hands. I laugh now as I remember my one gay friend came to visit and we were all driving somewhere, he was in the back seat with my daughter... he piped up and said "hey Michelle, do you know MacKenzie is teething"!! :) My daughter has been surrounded with nothing but love, and she has learned so much about love. She will be blessed when she is older (she is 5 now) and she can look at a homosexual couple and not think of their love being any different than a heterosexual couple.

I do suggest talking to your child. If any of them bring a partner over, you child may have questions. Recruit one of your inlaws to sit down with you and answer any questions your child may have. My daugther was raised not seeing any difference in homosexuals, so she has never had any questions... she knows that there are boyfriends and girlfriends, boyfriends and boyfriends, and girlfriends and girlfriends... she has always just accepted that and never questioned it.

[Fr_Chuck]

Gay or straight, if you have people who are bums, who did not finish school, does not want to work, does not plan for the future, and others who live a bad life of parties and multiple partners maybe don't need to be around anyone's children. I would never let my children around them.

Now of course they will know that I have taught my child that this life style is wrong and that their sexual behavior is immoral. So these family members most likely would not want me around anyway.

[Homegirl 50]

And they are all gay?

[nicespringgirl]

susy disagrees: sorry I was not clear. My mother in law has 4 boys and 1 girl. The girl is lesbian

You don't use the rating system like this! You are ruining my rep!

[Homegirl 50]

There are all kinds of people in the world but that does not mean a child needs to be exposed to all of them. For all of the siblings except your husband to have that sexual orientation is strange. You should maybe ask your husband what he thinks about this.
I would be wondering about the upbringing in the home. We they all born that way or have they chosen to live an alternate lifestyle, were they exposed to sexual things when they were young.
I don't think I'd want my child in that household without me. This would hold true if they were all heterosexual but living promiscuous lives. But for all of them to be that way, I would be Leary.

[J_9]

You don't use the rating system like this! You are ruining my rep!!

Rep is not important to those of us who truly care about helping others.

Please refer to https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

[nicespringgirl]

Rep is not important to those of us who truly care about helping others.

Please refer to https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

I understand that.Thank you for the balancer.:)

[americangayboy]

Scientific evidence suggests that being exposed to homosexuality as a child is harmless.

When you say the transgender family member has a disrespectful night life, do you mean she's a prostitute? If so, does she make it apparent?

If you don't think these are good people, don't expose your kids to them; however, if you're basing your opinion solely on the fact that they are queer, I think you're mistaken.

[americangayboy]

Homosexuals are no more likely to abuse children than heterosexuals. HJ: you're not unhelpful, you're harmful.

[alkalineangel]

I think it far worse to teach my child HATE than homosexuality... If the child is harmed by being around his family, there is more to it than just gay or straight... IMHO.

[Homegirl 50]

Nobody has said anything about hating homosexuals. It's about using some sense when it comes to kids. For all but one of the kids in this family to be in an alternate lifestyle common sense tells me there is some disfunction some where.
I believe there are people born gay, but I also know there some some that choose that lifestyle. They choose to live both ways.
Perhaps they are decent people and know how to behave in a respectful way around children, and maybe they are the type that think it's OK to do anything in front of kids. All I'm saying is, make sure you know what their stance is on how to conduct themselves in front of children. Your husband, having grown up with them could probably tell you what they are like.
I know homosexuals who are very nice and respectable people. I would have no problem with my child being around them. But I don't know all of their friends. I also know a few straight people that deal in things that there is no way I'd let my child be around them. They have no respect for themselves let alone someone else's child.
It's one thing to be PC and quite another to just use some common sense, especially when it comes to children.