[Skell]

Your thinking way too much about things.

[talaniman]

Gee online, if a guy is interested and says nothing he gets nothing. Females cannot read minds, so if you don't let them know of your interest how are they supposed to act, they sure can't start interviews can they? The one thing you left out is the fact that females like to be attractive and love the prospect of males coming to her and the final decision is hers. That's the point to keep the final say in her court, so a guy has to come with it or stay home.

[CaptainRich]

Time have changed - PLENTY!

Have A Random Sight Gag

There was once a day when women were considered more servants than partners in life. I think we've evolved.

[GlindaofOz]

I think that's a pretty bold statement that women sit around like peacocks waiting to be picked off. I personally find that extremely offensive that you believe that women think they should have nothing going on other then looking hot.

Our outsides are what attract us to someone. Women are the same as men. If we see someone who is attractive we will want to talk to them to see if they meet our standards. People don't walk around with a sandwich board that says "I'm funny, smart and sensitive". The truth is that if your face looks like a foot chances are a woman isn't going to see all the wonderful things about you through a glance. Yes maybe if a woman met a man and became friends with him she'd find him more attractive but I imagine the same thing happens with men.

Again. You cannot speak in generalities when it comes to human behavior.

[Tyne26]

I agree with Onlineguy's theory, it really gets to me when I'm out I get girls looking over but I don't make the move, I'm too shy and it does my head in.. I don't know what to say to start the conversation with someone I don't know and fancy as well, I'm too scared of making a bum of myself... I need to be more forward and I bet you next weeknd I do the same thing... "GIRL LOOKING OVER THINK SHE LIKES ME I DONT DO ANY THONG ARRRRRRGHHHHH LOL"

[nicespringgirl]

The man who catches MY attention is the one says" You are so kind/intelligent" instead of "You are hot/attractive".
Again as Glinda has mentioned we can't speak in generalities when it comes to human behavior.

[GlindaofOz]

The man who catches MY attention is the one says" You are so kind/intelligent" instead of "You are hot/attractive".
Again as Glinda has mentioned we can't speak in generalities when it comes to human behavior.

Yup. That kind of thing is a definite turn off. I think most women would prefer to be treated as people instead of sex organs in high heels.

[4answers]

Yup. That kind of thing is a definite turn off. I think most women would prefer to be treated as people instead of sex organs in high heels.

Now isn't this a contadiction ! And you wonder why we say that we cannot figure you guys out. I mean

To attract a man you go out looking like a sex organ in high heels instead of (initiating) talking to a guy and getting to know him. Taking charge of the process.

So a girl looks like a sex organ in high heels, men are naturally looking to sow there oats and they see a girl looking like a sex organ in high heels, so he rationalises if this person was not looking for sex she would not be dressed / present herself in this mannor that clearly turns me and other guys on. The fact that she is presenting herself in a mannor that inidicates sex means she will atract the guys looking for sex ! Common Sense.

i.e. Women" dont look at my breasts when you talk to me", but I will still wear a revealing low cut top that will show my cleavage which I know is a erotic turn on for men... All men.

Alternative. If I wear an ordinary sweater that does not highlight my sexual organs then men will not look at my sexual organs.. Common Sense. If a guy walks up to you with a g string on and no pants you will look ! Its natural, you know it, I know it everyone knows it. If you don't want to be seen in a sexual way don't present yourself in a sexual way. Common sense.

So if you want to meet a man who does not view you as a sexual object 1. don't present yourself as one. 2. Make an effort to get to know these men.. . Oh but I forget, your saying this but you class these men as Geeks and the guys who view you as a sex object as Alpha Males and go with them anyway !

Please Please Please, do and say what you mean. It would be so much simpler. And yes I know a woman should be able to wear clothes that make her feel sexy, all for that. I should be able to wear crothchless underpants when I go out and women should not look.

Your not going to not look though are you !

[Tyne26]

The man who catches MY attention is the one says" You are so kind/intelligent" instead of "You are hot/attractive".
Again as Glinda has mentioned we can't speak in generalities when it comes to human behavior.

How does a guy start a conversation with a stranger then without coming across like this, the las thing I want to di is go up to a females and be sleazy... I isn't got a clue how to start the conversation, something stupid always comes out??

[nicespringgirl]

How does a guy start a conversation with a stranger then without coming across like this, the las thing i want to di is go up to a females and be sleazy....I aint got a clue how to start the conversation, somethin stupid always comes out??????

Tyne26, very good question.
I will try my best to give you a detailed list on that:
Ask her about herself, her ambitions, her life. Be interested. It's a rare woman who wants to sit around all night listening to a man talk about himself. And the more you try to impress her with your tales of adventure, the less impressed she'll be.
Be presentable. Women are notorious accessorizers, and whether she'll admit it to you or not, you are an accessory. Other women will judge her on her choice. A clean, good-smelling man with well-fitting clothes is a real prize.
Make eye contact. A lot. And smile - in a friendly way. Don't leer.
Be a gentleman. It's a myth that chivalry is dead, right? There are just a few women out there messing it up for the rest of us who really do like to have doors held open for us.
Be funny without being crude. It's an art.
Compliment her. Notice her shoes or her watch - something that shows you're paying attention. We'll change our clothes six times before we leave the house; it's nice to find someone who appreciates the final choice.
It's hard for a woman not to be impressed with a man who is impressed with her. If you really like her, tell her so. You don't have to make a big deal about it, just let her know you admire her.
Warnings
Don't stare at her - or other women. ;)

I hope this will help you but again we can't generalize human behavior, each woman is a little bit different. Some of them are just that hard to get, they might have high standards at their age when they are young... please undertand them:D

[Dennis777]

Hello.

I can agree with many of your ideas if your picking ladies up in bars or clubs but if your meeting ladies in a real life places you can tell the ones that enjoy life and feel good about who they are. It shows in the way they walk and talk not just by how they dress. If looking sexy to attract a Man as in bars or clubs is all they have to do then all a Lady has to do is wear a low cut top and short skirt and she can have any man she wants... WAIT that does work hehehe maybe it comes back to the fact Men after puberty think with their lower head as soon as they see a low cut top or short skirt and the upper head goes blank hehehe.

OK back to reality. I think you need to find your Ladies in real places and stop looking at the local sex displays. Sure at clubs the Ladies dress sexy and they do show off what they have and want the Men to beg a little before they will pay any attention to them. It's a game but not a real life game it's the club game. If your not into the game find a new one but the drinking and sex games have been going on as long as Man has been on the earth.

Dennis777

[Tyne26]

Tyne26, very good question.
I will try my best to give you a detailed list on that:
Ask her about herself, her ambitions, her life. Be interested. It's a rare woman who wants to sit around all night listening to a man talk about himself. And the more you try to impress her with your tales of adventure, the less impressed she'll be.
Be presentable. Women are notorious accessorizers, and whether she'll admit it to you or not, you are an accessory. Other women will judge her on her choice. A clean, good-smelling man with well-fitting clothes is a real prize.
Make eye contact. A lot. And smile - in a friendly way. Don't leer.
Be a gentleman. It's a myth that chivalry is dead, right? There are just a few women out there messing it up for the rest of us who really do like to have doors held open for us.
Be funny without being crude. It's an art.
Compliment her. Notice her shoes or her watch - something that shows you're paying attention. We'll change our clothes six times before we leave the house; it's nice to find someone who appreciates the final choice.
It's hard for a woman not to be impressed with a man who is impressed with her. If you really like her, tell her so. You don't have to make a big deal about it, just let her know you admire her.
Warnings
Don't stare at her - or other women. ;)

I hope this will help you but again we can't generalize human behavior, each woman is a lil bit different. Some of them are just that hard to get, they might have high standards at their age when they are young...please undertand them:D

You make good point which I will take on board... At the weekend I go to nighclubs socialising with friends, yes we can talk to a lady about these things you mentioned but I can't just walk upo and say "tell me about yourself" lol its how to appraoch them and what your first question should be is what I struggle with??

[GlindaofOz]

Now isnt this a contadiction ! and you wonder why we say that we cannot figure you guys out. I mean

To attract a man you go out looking like a sex organ in high heels instead of (initiating) talking to a guy and getting to know him. Taking charge of the process.

So a girl looks like a sex organ in high heels, men are naturaly looking to sow there oats and they see a girl looking like a sex organ in high heels, so he rationalises if this person was not looking for sex she would not be dressed / present herself in this mannor that clearly turns me and other guys on. The fact that she is presenting herself in a mannor that inidicates sex means she will atract the guys looking for sex ! Common Sence.

ie Women" dont look at my breasts when you talk to me", but i will still wear a revealing low cut top that will show my cleavage which I know is a erotic turn on for men... All men.

Alternative. If I wear an ordinary sweater that does not highlight my sexual organs then men will not look at my sexual organs.... ! Common Sence. If a guy walks up to you with a g string on and no pants you will look ! Its natural, you know it, I know it everyone knows it. If you dont want to be seen in a sexual way dont present yourself in a sexual way. ! Common sence.

So if you want to meet a man who does not view you as a sexual object 1. dont present yourself as one. 2. Make an effort to get to know these men... ..... Oh but I forget, your saying this but you class these men as Geeks and the guys who view you as a sex object as Alpha Males and go with them anyway !

Please Please Please, do and say what you mean. It would be so much simpler. And yes I know a woman should be able to wear clothes that make her feel sexy, all for that. I should be able to wear crothchless underpants when I go out and women should not look.

Your not gonna not look though are you !

EXCUSE ME? I do not go out looking like a whore and yet you presume that I do so. I am saying that the OP was presumed that are all empty headed pretty dolls and that is an unfair statement. YOU do not know who I date or how I behave when I got out. Some men dress like tramps and become angry when men treat them the way they dress. I however do not go to bars to get picked up and yes I approach men and start conversations with them without looking like a prostitute.

AGAIN NO GENERALITIES HERE. You don't see me saying that men only think with their peckers and are incapable of having a legitimate relationship.

Don't take your frustrations of being a substandard human being on women

[nicespringgirl]

You make good point which I will take on board.....At the weekend I go to nighclubs socialising with friends, yes we can talk to a lady about these things u mentioned but i can't just walk upo and say "tell me about yourself" lol its how to appraoch them and what ur first question should be is what i struggle with?????

Hello Tyne:

Try to say something that will draw out details about her. "Your friends seem nice--how did you get to know them?" is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain.
Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she'll consider you intelligent, kind, con-fident, and ambitious.

The good ladies you are looking for are not in bars or clubs, they are busy working and wondering where their Mr. Right will show up. So my suggestion is only to help you talk the right lady. It's your choice who you want to talk to, but be wise who you want to talk to!:)

Good luck:)

[talaniman]

First off Tyne you have to be comfortable and make them feel comfortable and a good way is to learn in real life with real females and to start get in the habit of speaking to everyone you have eye contact with. A smile, and a simple hello, how are you, will get you into the habit of greeting strangers and speaking to those you come in contact with at stores and banks and places of business, will give you some practice at the people skills necessary to approach any one in an easy comfortable fashion. Eye contact will take you far, so don't waiver or look away and smile.

[4answers]

EXCUSE ME? I do not go out looking like a whore and yet you presume that I do so.

Don't take your frustrations of being a substandard human being on women

Hi GlindaofOz. Like all the post on here, none are meant as a personal attack against a person, if you feel that then please accept my apology. This is a different and valid point of view in exactly the same way yours is.

It would appear that the signals women give out are not the signals men interpret.

[GlindaofOz]

It's just that no one can speak in generalities. Its not fair. If something does not apply to everyone then do not apply it to everyone. That's all I'm saying. Its offensive to women who do not appear like that to be treated that way. Too many men walk around with the opinion that all women are cold hearted ball busters who dress like tramps and act like a tease.

[Bluerose]

I'll let the guys answer that one. Lol

[victoria_mitchell]

Guys that don't want to get in girls pants aren't considered pick up artists in my opinion...

[onlineguy]

As individuals we can sometimes only consider how certain situations affect our emotions and don't look at how it affects others. Also because we don't want to show our lonliness and heartbreak to the world we put on a mask / shield / act that everything is OK.

As we grow up we realise that this is not just us but everyone does the same.

Here is a thought: In looking for a partner and being rejected it makes us feel bad due to the negative feelings.

In being dumped it makes us feel bad due to the negative feelings.

Now in both these curcumstances we are caught up in our own emotions and sometimes do not look at the emotions of the other person involved.

Now the person who rejects someone or dumps someone is / or appears to be on the emotional higher ground. And yet sometimes when the rejected or the dumper moves on and finds another the Rejector / Dumper can feel a sense or regret, jeolosy or loss.

So when a relationship ends or you are rejected try to act like you were the person who rejected or dumped. = Higher emotional ground. You may be hurting in hell like side, but don't give them the satisfaction and arrogance that they have hurt you. Much better to let them think F*** what have I done... This helps you to heal ! And lets face it, since the rejection was from them and they don't care about you, then why care about them anymore. They do not deserve your caring or love, only someone who genuinly appreciates you does...

Never let them see you cry ! Always leave on the emotional higher ground. Let them do the regret ! (Or at least let them think it)