[critter15]

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now in that time I have been kicked out of home lost my job and having troubles with my ute wich is a big part of my life.
For the last three months he has had to cover me helping me fix my ute buying me what I need and living with me and deal with my stress and dealing with a new job on top of that.
He was fine until last week when he started pushing me away and said he doesn't want to be with me any more but I when I asked him if he loved me he started crying and said yes but he doesn't know and is cofused

I think its because I am totally reliant on him and I think if I stop it by borrowing some money to cover me until I get a job and not ask him to help me with my ute and work it out myself it will take some stress of him.
He has said he will wait until after I get a job to see if the spark in his heart will come back
Other than that we have fun together never have bad fights and we compramise for each other

Do you think that the stress is getting to him and if I take it away he will come round and feel love for me again?

[Geoffersonairplane]

He shouldn't need to wait until after you get a job to see if he has feelings there because real love is when you support each other through the good times and the bad times. Evidently you are going through some bad times.

Looking at this realistically and practically, yes I do think that he is feeling confused about where the relationship is going with you being without work and totally reliant on him. In most relationships, everything should be 50/50 and this works on many levels, not just money. Sure, it does good for the man to do the decent thing once in a while and take his wife or partner out for a meal or treat her in some way but when it comes to the entire relationship, the money worries should not be placed on just one person alone. Obviously if there were children involved then the wife or partner may not be able to work as it would not be practical and therefore that situation is different.

It really is a case of sitting down with him and communicating how you and he feels. It is also important that you do all you can to find work. Sitting around worrying about it isn't going to do you any good. Your full time job while unemployed is to look for a job and you should be doing this on a 9-5 basis. A lot of self esteem and value comes from your ability to stand on your own to feet and you will feel much better when you are able to contribute to this relationship not just emotionally but financially too.

If he is still unsure about his feelings after you are in a better position, then perhaps it is time to call it a day and break it off. I still say that it is unfair for him to say to you to spend time apart from him until you get a job because that is like saying, 'I don't want you unless you have your own money because I think you are using me'.

I don't think you are a user at all, I think you are just going through a rough time at the moment but only you can change that now.