Check out some similar questions!

mckenzie134 · Jul 19, 2007, 03:45 AM

Hi,

I started on this site in march after I got dumpedout of the blue! Everything was fine there were no arguments in my relationhip and things were sailigalong fine. Got invited to my girlfriends for lunch then that night she turns up at my housesaying she wants a break. WOW took this as a shockthought Geez I must have been smothering her... Neverhad I donethis and we had been together for 3 1/2 years always played it cool,I hadto I had no choice she was a stunner and had a heapof guys chasingher when we wentout so playingit cool was my onlyoption during the relationship as I knew jealousy wouldturn her off and I new I had to be the one she was after so I wouldmake he pursueme!! Woked great she was always wanting to see me. Anyhow when the break came upshe said she needed time to work on herself at 22 she said she wasn't sure after 3 yars if the love she felt for me was enough forever. NO other guy in the picture although ifshe wanted there could have been but honestly she said to me why would I want another boyfriend I told you I just want to know what I want and want to have some time on my own to work on myself. Well stupid me shouldhave ralidsed if a girl wants time on there own maybe hey do want just that but then gain I looked at it well what happens when she has this time on he own and is happy, I thought like most well this will be OK then we will have a better relationship. Now I realise ifshe is happier on her own then why the HELl wouldshe want me back. Hat an IDIOT!! Anyhow kept in contct with her which wasa stupid thing to do,se has since told me 3 monthson that for the first 2 weeks she missed me so bad and wanted to get backtogether but I kept contacting her!! Stupidme I suppose!

Anyway after a month break up we slept together probably another mistake I made but she seemed really keen but we wee still on the break. I then pestered her abit more and adventually I suppose we wernt together. Then a few weeks later 2 months hadgone by and she sayssheis feeling a voidin her life and missesmeand thinks she may wantto get back with me. So stupid me again pushesthe question and once again the answer is he is happy on her own . Ths adventually turns into wewillnever be together again the I get other crap like we just want different things we don't have much in common! Long time to stay with someone you don't have much in common with and why the hell did she what to see meso often ifwe had nothing in common and this also contracdicted her saying I've been thinking of all the good times we had. Hat I have realisd is when she misses you ashe thinks of all the good times. But what may have happened obviously after a fewmonths she sarted to speak to other guys and her attitude towards me changed things were said likewe are just not right for each other , I met you when I was young and so fourth. Long way from when she was sayinghow much she missed me. I believe girls think 2 ways when they areinterested the are a bit sucky towards you but when the are not they are so mean and rude saying things which are totally not true.

Anyway I let it go and then the other day she comesinto my work and sits down and startstalking to me 4 moinths on after the break up. Which to tell you the truth she broke up with me because of what oine of my friendssaid, well she over reacted and took it the wrong way and thought he was calling her a slut. So this didn't help my cause...

Well now I find myself 4 months on and all these problems could haveeasily been solved my not talking to her from when she wanted a break. Problem was I was so confused caused by her andshe was so confused because I don't think she really ew what she wanted but I do know in a way she wasn't sure after all this time if it was me... There wasno sign leading up to the breakup as I have found there usually would be this made it difficult for me because I was trying to find a reason so I could say well that was it...

Soshe has come to my workan I was nicewhich I probably shouldhave toldher to get lost.She talked for a bit andthen left. I calledherlater when had the chance, I admit I still LOVE her, anyhow spoketo her on the phon and said you didn't need to come to my work and again she startedwith the when we first broke up I missedyou heaps and we had so much fun together... anyway I said we did and you wanted to giveit up and again she said well I had to do what was rightfor me..

So then I decided stuffit and I said to her listen when you wanted the break you got it andnow you alk abou how you were thinking of getting back together and she said yeah but you saidwe couldn't be friends, which I did at the time and she said wel why would I get back with someone who cold not be my friend...

Anyway had enough so I said listen we went out for a few years and it was great don't say I couldn't be friends with you because itwasnt like that. Anyway you know I wanted a reationship and you decidedyou didn't and that's that.

Istuffed up a little I said to her your happy to be with other guys now and obviously if your going tobe likethis why wouldi want to be with someone like that. We had agreat time and always would have but you gave up on that and Now I've thought about it you must rather be with another guy than me after I treated you so well and we had so much fun so Ive had enough, ifyoudrather be happy with someone else , its not I don't want to be friends I'm just ot interested if yourve turned out like this after 3 years because I was agreat guy and don't what a girlfriend who would rather see other guys...

She then said its not other guys its just I want to be sinle for a whilethats all. I the said well that's fine and ifyou want to be single that means you will probably see other guys which is fine but that means idont wantto be involved because I'm not intereseted in that. Hen I said I'm goingto go and left it at that...

Thatwasa few weeks ago and I'm enjoying myself now. Can't holdon forever and I'm not confusesd yetwold have been a lot easiertolet golong ago. Amazing tingis though theybfeed you so many bullcrap loines about being confusedwhen maybe they really are but when they start to feel better they can't get rid of you wquick enogh...

Canada_Sweety · Jul 27, 2007, 05:53 PM

That's good:)

chuff · Jul 29, 2007, 04:41 PM

If she dumped you after 3 years based on what someone else said then she can't be trusted anyway. To be honest, that was a lame excuse, and I think she was looking for a way out without taking the blame so that situation presented itself and she used it... as lame as that is. Quite honestly, I think that speaks more to you and your character, straight forwardness, and stability that she would have to reach so far to come up with a lame excuse like that get out of a relationship.

mckenzie134 · Jul 30, 2007, 03:19 AM

Yeah chuffi supposeshe saidlater she missed thesingle life but then again we went out all the ime and had drinks with friends and fun. So I guess single life means hooking up randomly, becauseshe triedto say she missed going out but we did this all the time so she wouldn't have missed that. I thinkshe mised all the attention... and guyschasing her

lisalou · Jul 30, 2007, 05:15 AM

Or maybe she just didn't feel the same about you anymore as you said to me

mckenzie134 · Jul 30, 2007, 06:10 AM

How couldshe not feel the same anymore

lisalou · Jul 30, 2007, 06:10 AM

That's what you said to me. Hurts doesn't it.

chuff · Jul 30, 2007, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by mckenzie134

how couldshe not feel the same anymore

Actually that is very common. When a relationship is new things are exciting, there is mystery, you are learning all about this person. As time goes on and the honeymood period ends, it is only then that you realize who you are with and what kind of person they are.

People also grow and change in what they want. At 20 I wanted different things then I do now. At 40 I'm sure I'll want different things then I do now.

I'm sure you've had friends that were great but as time moved forward you became distant or you both took on new interests. Same thing can happen in a relationship.