[reagan2005]

I'm 6'3', blonde hair, green eyes, I work out, and I'm soon to graduate and start my career as a firefighter. All my friends tell me that they wish they looked like me because when we go out a lot of girls flirt with me, but I never let it go to my head. I've had my share of relationships and I've been dumped once and I've been used once so I'm no stranger to the heartache that goes with relationships, but this experience I'm having right now is new to me.

I started seeing a girl that is in a long term relationship, with an abusive boyfriend. I'm not a violent person but I would pay to watch this guy get executed. The problem is that at first I knew that this was probably going to be just a one night stand but it soon turned into something I wasn't expecting. We started seeing each other more and soon afterwards she started showing me off to her family and friends, and they all feel in love with me. Most of her friends even told her if things didn't work out between us that they were going to give me a call. So she started feeling my head up things like she told me how she was falling in love with me and how I'm the guy of her dreams and she's never felt this way towards anybody before, and that she would never hurt me and I was so happy to here that. So at this point I'm totally in love with her, and all my friends tell me I can do much better but you know I love her and to me looks don't matter.

The part that is destroying me is, after she said all those things to me she is still with her boyfriend. I don't know what's she getting out of their relationship she tells me there is no love left, he's not helping her financially in fact he isn't working, they have to borrow money from family, and he's 10 years older than her and has 2 kids and 2 ex wife's because they got tired of putting up with his abuse. So inside my head I'm thinking I'm right here, I'm your way out, what are you waiting for. But yet she won't leave him, but she calls me everyday and gets jealous if I talk to other women. I don't know what to do!

[endless8infinity]

I see your dilemma. I'm not sure what kind of abuse she is experiencing from her boyfriend but abuse is abuse. She may be terrified of him so much that she is afraid to leave. Many abused women feel they have no way out. They think if they leave, their significant other will go after them and hurt them or even kill them. I may be totally wrong and this may not be the problem at all. Just giving you a different perspective.

Another piece of advice-instead of thinking in your head "I'm your way out", say it out loud! Tell her you will protect her and that you will not let him hurt her. Abused women need this kind of reassurance.

[JoeCanada76]

First - She is in a relationship right now. No matter what kind of relationship it is, its up to her to make the decision to leave or not.

Second - This is not fair to anybody. She is in a relationship right now and you two are seeing each other. What do you think could happen to you or her. If the boyfriend found out. It is better that you do not continue this until her boyfriend is out of the picture.

Third - I agree to a point in the above answer about being a friend and letting her know that you will be there for her whenever she decides to leave him. At the same time she will need a time for healing and getting herself together, because hopping immediately into another relationship right away I do not think will help. I know you feel the need to rescue her and that your part in this relationship is to make her feel better but what will you have once she leaves and is together with you. Is there more to this relationship then you just wanting to rescue her?

I hope that everything works out the best for you, for her and the two children.

[Tuscany]

I think Jesus Helper said it the best.

Support her, help her, be her friend. But, continuing a relationship with her could lead her and yourself into danger if the boyfriend is a violent man. Most of all though, if she does leave the boyfriend, give her time to heal.