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grammadidi · May 15, 2007, 08:27 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your aunt was feeling so crummy on her birthday. It's difficult, too, when she falls. Is she still having difficulty with constipation from the pain pills? If so, I just wondered if she tried the Senokot. Also, the doctor can prescribe something stronger for her - it's like cod liver oil, so kind of gross, but it works! :) If she is constipated that can really make her uncomfortable and miserable.

Are you still working, going to school, looking after your husband and baby and trying to find time for you? If so, no wonder you are tired! Are you almost finished school? How is it going? Are you still doing well (under the circumstances)? Is your husband being supportive? How is the baby doing besides being a handful, as all kids his age can be! Hee hee!

Take care,

Didi

robertsqueen · May 16, 2007, 12:59 PM

No, she isn' constipated anymore, but they put her back on steroids. I am done with school for the summer, and I ended up flunking my math class. I have to pay for a semister of college now. I try to find time for myself, I am starting to write a story. My husband is being wonderful, and Baily is just amazing, Its funny how fast they grow and how they want their independence. When he hurts himself he has mommy and daddy kiss his boo boo and then he kisses it. I am enjoying my time with him. We spend a lot of tme going over to my moms so he can play in his kid pool.

robertsqueen · May 17, 2007, 08:57 PM

So today my aunt fell and hit her head. She had to get stitches for it. We want to have her use a wheel chair again, but my uncle dosen't want to move the furniture around. How selfish is that? Why is he being so mean to her?

grammadidi · May 17, 2007, 09:46 PM

It sounds like your uncle is in denial... although he could just be a jerk, I suppose. :) I say get the wheelchair and move the furniture yourselves. My goodness, you shouldn't have to move much! Wheelchairs don't have to be big and bulky now-a-days.

I'm sorry that your aunt fell and had to get stitches. Balance can be a real problem with this kind of thing. Cheer her up by telling her if she keeps it up you'll have to get her a football helmet! :D

I'm glad that she isn't constipated anymore. That is so uncomfortable. It's a bummer that you failed your math class. I really thought you would pass. Oh, well, it's understandable. At least you have good support in your husband and Baily to keep you busy.

Hugs to you,

Didi

robertsqueen · May 18, 2007, 01:41 PM

She went to the doctor today and they told her that her white blood cells are basically non exeisnent.. Is this a bad thing? What does this mean. They said that they are really really low. Is this normal?

robertsqueen · May 20, 2007, 09:27 PM

They found out that it was seizures that she was having... she is not getting any better is she? Is this because of the brain cancer? We bought her a green house for her b-day gift... the whole family did.

grammadidi · May 21, 2007, 04:15 PM

I'm sorry, rq, I really don't know for sure, but to me, it doesn't sound encouraging. I'm also sorry I didn't respond sooner, but it was a long weekend in Canada, and I had someone from the States up for the weekend.

Although it sounds like your aunt's condition may not be what you hope for, anything is possible, please don't forget that. I don't think it will stop growing entirely, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have some quality time left. When they operated on my husband they told me that he probably wouldn't come home from the hospital. They also gave him 2 to 6 weeks to live. He fought so hard, and constantly told me that it was easier for him to believe he was going to live longer, because I treated him like he was going to live. He lived 5 months. Just love your aunt like you always do, enjoy what time you have together, support and listen to her if she is down and look after yourself and your own family as best you can. As I told you before, your aunt wouldn't want her favourite niece to put her life on hold. She needs you to pick up on all the things that you admire in her and show her that she has passed those things on to you.

What a wonderful gift you have all given her for her birthday! I hope she is able to plant something so that when she does pass on, she will live a small piece of herself for you all. Maybe you and Baily could help her plant some perennial seeds? It sure will help her feel like she can do something useful, it will give you and Baily some quality time with her, and if her health gets any worse, it will give her something to look forward to (which can help her fight).

I hope her seizures decrease, sweetie. I hope it helps you to talk about it all here. You know I am here for you.

Warm Hugs,
Didi

robertsqueen · May 30, 2007, 08:52 PM

My aunt is not doing well... she is in the hospital and she has to get put to sleep to get a scan of her brain. She is also on morphine.. she is dying I know she is.

robertsqueen · May 31, 2007, 08:49 PM

They think that it is her heart... Is that a bad thing.. she has lung cancer so why is her heart causing her problems?

grammadidi · May 31, 2007, 09:54 PM

I am so sorry that your aunt and you are going through all of this. Any illness is hard on the heart, sweetie, but cancer seems to age people to some degree, so maybe that's why it goes to the heart, I really don't know. I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner, but I haven't been online much at all lately.

This newest change in your aunt's condition could just be a setback or it could be part of the final stages of the disease. Has your family told you anything other than that? It is possible that the cancer has spread to other areas in her body now which can also put stress on her heart. The lung cancer alone affects her breathing which affects the heart as there may not be adequate oxygen. I have read that it is not common for a buildup of fluids around the heart in lung cancer, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. It is common, though, for there to be a build up of fluid between the outer lining of the lungs and the chest wall which can be a symptom of heart failure.

What usually happens in end stage lung cancer that has spread to the brain is that they make the patient as comfortable as they can with pain medications (hence, the morphine). It is important for her to be as pain free as possible now. Just continue to be as supportive and loving as you are for your aunt and other family members and use the supports that you have.

I wish I could tell you happier things, rq. The next few weeks could be quite difficult for you. Keep your strength as much as you can.

Warm hugs, Didi

J_9 · May 31, 2007, 10:04 PM

RQ, let me start by saying that I have not read the entire post, and that I am not really here to offer advice, but am here to lend you a shoulder. You see, as we speak, I am losing my father. He turned 72 on May 25. He has lived longer than we have expected this weekend.

So, not to be thread stealing, but I am with you, I can sympathize. I have spent the last 2 nights in a chair in a hospital room watching to make sure Dad is still breathing at daybreak.

My heart goes out to you dear. You will be in my thoughts.

robertsqueen · Jun 22, 2007, 08:37 PM

So an update. My aunt is still in Denver and out of the hospital. The seizures were because of the tumors in her brain, they are not shrinking, but aren't getting bigger either? Is that good or bad? I miss her like crazy, they stopped the chemo, and I think that they stopped it for good. My uncle said that she is in remission but the chemo is still there what does that mean? I thought remission meant that chemo was gone. I am doing all right. I have enjoyed having my brother up here. He is doing very well and I have enjoyed having quality time with him. Bay is good he is getting big, and mouthy. How are you doing today? How is your life going? Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while I have been so busy lately... and I kindof feel guilty about it because I am not sad very much anymore I have been keeping myself busy.

grammadidi · Jun 26, 2007, 10:40 PM

Hi RQ, Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I read your post a few days ago but was on my way out so was going to come back to it. Unfortunately, I have had a family crisis with my adopted daughter and totally forgot! I am really so very sorry.

It is a shame that the chemo isn't shrinking the tumours in your aunt's brain, but it is a good thing that they aren't getting any bigger right now. I am sure you do miss her a lot! Hmmmm... not sure if they will have stopped the chemo for good. Usually during an incurable (stage 4) cancer they will give chemo to help with the symptoms of the cancer and to try to slow the growith of the tumours, thus increasing survival time.

When Terry was on chemo they did give him a "rest" period in between rounds of chemo. Remember, chemo is poison and doesn't just damage bad cells, but good cells as well. The concept is that it will retard or even stop the bad cells at the risk of destroying good cells that they hope are strong enough to regenerate and heal. When people take chemo they give them regular blood tests before each round. Your aunt may have a high level of chemo in her body so they will stop and give the body a rest for a bit.

If your aunt is in remission that probably means that the cancer cells are still present, but there has been a decrease in the number of cancer cells. It means that for the moment the cancer cells are under control.

I am glad you have been able to spend some good quality time with your brother. Hmmm... Bay is getting mouthy? Where is he learning that from! LOL :) I bet he is getting big. How old is he now?

I wish you to NEVER feel guilty about not being sad much anymore! It is okay to go on with your life. Your aunt would be absolutely miserable if you weren't going on with life and living. Keeping yourself busy is great, just make sure you take some time every few days to a week to allow yourself to feel what you feel - anger, sadness, pain or whatever.

As for me... life has been up and down. Hopefully it will improve. My van broke down again (!! ) and is truly on it's last legs. I so desperately need a new(er) vehicle. My van is a 1993, but has been on the road since fall, 1992. I still haven't been able to land a job. Today I applied for one with the SPCA as a kennel attendant and groomer. The pay is lousy, but the hours will make up for it. I hope they aren't looking for someone young and will give me a chance. I have the background and experience, but in this town, that's not always a good thing. Sometimes I think they don't hire me because they believe that I will get a job somewhere else quickly because of my skills and knowledge and they give other people a chance. I have excellent references, I have had my resume and some of my covering letters gone over by 4 professionals and they all think it's great. Wish me luck!

Something exciting is going on in my life right now that I am keeping a secret for now. Unfortunately, my daughter's crisis has taken a bit of punch out of that and created a whole new round of stresses and problems. It will improve though, I am sure of that.

Are you enjoying the summer?

Well, must run. I am exhausted!

Love, Didi

robertsqueen · Jun 30, 2007, 04:37 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your daughters crisis. My aunt is doing horrible last night she had to go to the hospital by ambulance beuase she stopped breathing. They are saying that she is having kidney failure, and her blood pressure is really low. Does this mean that she is dying? I am scared.

J_9 · Jun 30, 2007, 04:44 PM

RQ, my dear. I hate to say this, and it tears me up so. But seeing as how I have been through this recently, unfortunately the end is near.

I went through this with my father on the 6th of June. He did not have cancer, but had kidney failure, breathing and blood pressure issues.

I am here for you Hun. Just know that when it does come, it will be a blessing.

I used to think people who said that were CRAZY, that was until I watched my Dad suffering and then kissed him goodbye after he had passed.

It is hard, but you will get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

grammadidi · Jun 30, 2007, 08:50 PM

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry that this is happening. No, things don't sound very good for your aunt in a sense. Hopefully it won't drag on too long for her now and she doesn't suffer. It's so difficult when the lungs are so full of cancer because the breathing is affected and without oxygen all the other organs can't work properly. I agree with J_9, when the end comes it will be a blessing. I know it will be difficult for you though, with you being so close. I hope your husband is with you right now to give you the support you will need. You are lucky to have Bay. He will keep your mind and heart occupied when you need a break from the sadness.

You have been so strong through all of this, RQ. Your aunt must be so proud of you. I think you have learned a lot from her and it will carry on in your son as he gets older. I might not be around the next day or two, hun, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and, of course, your aunt that she does not suffer needlessly.

Love & hugs, Didi

robertsqueen · Jul 3, 2007, 03:06 PM

The doctor gave her 3 days to a week to live today. We are all going down there within the next few days... my heart is broke and I just want to curl up and cry.

grammadidi · Jul 3, 2007, 03:58 PM

I am so very sorry, sweetie. There are just no words that I can say to make it better or express how deeply I feel for you. I know that you and your aunt have always been so close so your pain is intense. All I can say is that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know right now it seems like the pain will never end, but as time goes on you will find the love and memories that you shared will over-ride the pain. Allow yourself to feel, lean on anyone who offers and look after yourself. I will be around if you need someone to talk to. I really am so very sorry.

Warm gentle hugs,
Didi

J_9 · Jul 3, 2007, 04:15 PM

Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Now, remember that she may ralley. My father was given 2 hours to live at one point and he kept on for 2 weeks. He would get better, and I mean really better, and give us false hope. So remember that sweetie.

It is okay to cry hun, really it is. I never got the chance until I got home. I had to be strong for mom. But it is oaky, it is healthy, it is good.

Whatever you do though, and I am going to ask you to do something that will be very hard... Please do not cry in front of your aunt.

Steph, I can tell you that right now you feel such intense pain, but it does get easier, day by day. My father will be gone a month on July 6th. I have come to terms with it. You will too.

robertsqueen · Jul 4, 2007, 05:37 PM

Okay so update. She is in critical condition and she is stable. So what does this mean? Does this mean she is getting beter? We are not going down anymore.