[dmh]

I can't seem to follow through with my thoughts of what needs to be done on a daily basis.
I know what needs to be done, I just feel I am stuck, can't focus, I pick at my finger & toes. I have gained 15-20 lbs in the last 6 months. I have hot flashes during the day at night I am cold one minute hot the next removing the covers. Not sleeping during the night. I know I avoid friends & family, for no reason. I have terrible ringing in my ears all the time, I even have sensations in my head of what a bolt of lighting is doing, it don't hurt but sounds weird & feels strange. I have also lost my sex drive, it's not what it used to be.
I am 47. I don't want to grow any older feeling lost & out of touch and think that I am going to have to live like this the rest of my life. My poor husband & children, they wonder what's happen to their Mom, & his wife. Please help.
If someone has had these same experiences, and sought help & it's been successful, PLEASE share.
Thank you

[whiteladybug2002]

Hello dmh and welcome to this site!

First of all, I think that you should make an appointment with your doctor and let them know all that is going on. They can test your blood and make sure that it isn't your thyroid or that you aren't anemic. Your thyroid can cause a lot of the symptoms you described, but sometimes anemia can too. There can be other medical problems that can cause that I am not sure of, but your doctor should be fully aware of all.

If health checks out okay, then you been to look into your psychological issues that could cause your problems. Has there been any tragic events that have recently taken place? Are you just burn out with your daily routine? Is there marriage problems? Are you depressed? These are all questions you need to ask yourself... Be honest with yourself on this! If you feel that you need professional help... don't be ashamed to get it! You have to keep yourself healthy... Inside and Out!

I have had similar experiences. I am 28 yrs old, married, and mother of 3. I was a full time college student while I homeschooled my children this past year (Aug-Dec 06). In December, my husband and I decided to place the children in a private christian school, because I was transferring to a University in January and couldn't keep up with their work. In early Jan, my husband started complaining about me going to the University and how I would place all my focus on school and not family and him, so I dropped out to stay home. At first, all I did was pity myself, because I was home and didn't want to be. I had a really hard time accomplishing ANYTHING... my house, kids, husband, and myself was all neglected and a big mess! My husband and I fought all the time, primarily about sex, because I didn't have NO interest in sex at all. My house was so gross that I wouldn't let family come over. All my children was failing in school.

I went to the doctor and had everything checked out. I was a little anemic, but all else was fine. My doctor told me not to be so hard on myself and all would be okay. I didn't think I was being hard on myself to begin with? But I guess he seen something I didn't!

I spent hours a day, sometimes all day, beating myself up over me not accomplishing things. I was being so hard on myself that I was physically and emotionally exhausted! I really didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel here! I had no idea how to get out of this funk! I talked to my husband, friends, and family about my problem and no one had a suggestion except... Just stop being lazy! I was sick of hearing that, so I stopped talking to them about it. I was ashamed enough.

Then one day, a little over a month ago, I was helping my son with his bible lesson from school and read a verse about working 6 days and resting on the 7th day. I don't know why that woke me up? I had grown up hearing and reading that verse! But this time, something clicked inside me!

That night, I got a piece of paper and made a SHORT list of things I needed to do the next day. That next morning, I woke up and when right to work accoplishing my list, placing checks next to them when I finished the job. I was very motivated to check things off my list and it works for me! But I give myself credit for things I do that I wouldn't think of as a job, such as taking the kids to school on time, checking the kids lunch, feed the dog, preparing supper, fill the car up with gas, etc. These are all things that we do daily and never give ourselves credit for, so now, GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU DO!!

Don't beat yourself up over what you don't do and reward yourself for what you do accomplish! If Monday I didn't check off mopping the kitchen, I don't get down on myself for it, I just roll it over to Tuesday! If it doesn't happen on Tuesday, well guess what, there is Wednesday to mop! Just as long as you get it done, it really doesn't matter when! So don't be hard on yourself when things done go perfect!

It helps me to know that I get a day off (Sunday). Make sure you take a day for rest! Tell your family, THIS IS MY DAY and they will have to fend for themselves. My family don't mind me having that day, because now I am here everyother day for them!

I don't know if this will work for you, but it has worked wonders for me! Now, my house is clean, my kids have improved their grades (As), and my husband & me have a relationship stronger than ever. My sex drive is still quite non exsistant, but he now knows that I am aware of what is going on and am trying to improve every aspect of my life! Be is very happy that I am getting things accomplished, instead of laying around all day. Be is proud to come home to a clean house, supper on the table, and disciplined children.

I hope I could have been of help, but this is all personal experiences only.

Good Luck and God Loves You!

[purplelilmunster]

Menopause?

[Clough]

Yes. Menopause is a possibility because of her age. But, others will answer who know a lot more about medical things concerning mental and emotional health.