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Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 01:16 PM

Hello, I've been together for over 2 years with this girl
And I'm still crazily in love.. she is truly the love of my live
We have enjoy each other so much..
Until 4 days ago, she started to hang out with an old ex BF(3 years ago they were together) of her and broke up yesterday..
Today I gave her a lot of flowers.. she had t to cry, but later she admitted she kissed him..
I talked a lot to her, and she is in her puberal years, and feel angry all the time because of that. and she is having a puberal crush on him.
Another thing is she is so afraid of getting older (almost 18 now) and when she is wit him it feels like she is 14-15 again, because that is how she remembers it..

Please tell me how to get her back..
I'm heartbroken, she means the world to me, and I can't enjoy anything anymore, can't eat food for a week now and feel so miserable..

PS. We should gone to live together in 1 year, and get married on March 25 2009..

-a sad 19 year old boy

Lowtax4eva · May 4, 2007, 01:25 PM

You probably can't until such time as this crush passes by, but why would you want her back? She left you so she could go out with an ex and not feel guilty!

And I wouldn't believe they "just kissed", I think your better off without her, hang out with friends for a while till you feel like your ready to date again. Besides, even if she comes back whose to say she won't do the same thing with the same guy (or someone else) again.

Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 01:34 PM

I know her, and I'm sure the only thing they did is kiss..
And no she would do it again to someone else..
Thanks for the feedback though!
And no, I cannot get over her, I know how it is to get over someone, but without her I am nothing, and enjoy nothing more and all is over...

sypher373 · May 4, 2007, 02:52 PM

To feel like that without someone else is unhealthy. Many of the people here, myself included, have been there. You will realize that it is not good for you to be overly attached to someone like that.

Your only choice now is to move on. There is nothing you can do to bring her back. If she comes back, it will be of her own free will. In the meantime, get to a place where you can enjoy everything you used to. Think back two years ago, before you met her. Im sure you were happy then. Strive for that feeling again.

Good luck

Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by sypher373

To feel like that without someone else is unhealthy. Many of the people here, myself included, have been there. You will realize that it is not good for you to be overly attached to someone like that.

Your only choice now is to move on. There is nothing you can do to bring her back. If she comes back, it will be of her own free will. In the meantime, get to a place where you can enjoy everything you used to. Think back two years ago, before you met her. Im sure you were happy then. Strive for that feeling again.

Good luck

These were the only 2 years of happyness I know, all before was just okay
And I tried to do something but I really can't enjoy anything anymore

LBP · May 4, 2007, 03:07 PM

Your best bet is to move on. If she wants you, she can find you. Otherwise, you're just messed about. Afraid of getting older at age 18? What, does she think this is the dark ages?

Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 03:11 PM

Like I said, I can't move on, on her.. she is everything I ever had, and want to have, and I don't want to move on.

Please say things how I can get her back

And yes LBP I'm afraid ofgetting older too, I hate to be almost 20, luckely I'm not in my puberal years anymore

Thanks for the replies though...

LBP · May 4, 2007, 03:31 PM

That's the thing... You can't 'get' her back. She can only choose to come back. The sooner your accept that the better off you'll be. By pressing the matter, you're only going to push her away. I mean that. If you want to have any chance of her coming back your best bet is to disappear and find other things to do with yourself.

This said, in all likelihood, at the event of her return you will likely have decided that you're better off without than with.

The fact that your both scared to be in your 20s and late teens is a little bizarre to me... The only way to become experienced is to live life... And you're never more dumb than in your early 20s and late teens.

diya · May 4, 2007, 03:38 PM

You can't have someone just because you wish to... that someone will have to like you to the extent to give you the capacity to have him/her. People come and go all the time in our lives... sooner or later you'll realize this... no one is world to you... discard this thought asap... or else you'll be miserable for the rest of the days... trust me.

Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 03:43 PM

Then I will be miserable forever, rather stuck up in the toughts of her and our great time together then moving on..

sypher373 · May 4, 2007, 03:47 PM

Listen,

We can't tell you how to get her back. No one can, and anyone who promises to is lying to you. It isn't possible to win someone back, they need to come back on their own.

All we can offer is advice on how to improve your situation, and to become happy with yourself again. You have gotten some of that advice already, though it isn't going to help you a bit, unless you want to help yourself.

You will not ever be happy again if you don't want to be.

Mabrin · May 4, 2007, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by sypher373

Listen,

We can't tell you how to get her back. No one can, and anyone who promises to is lying to you. It isnt possible to win someone back, they need to come back on their own.

All we can offer is advice on how to improve your situation, and to become happy with yourself again. you have gotten some of that advice already, though it isnt going to help you a bit, unless you want to help yourself.

You will not ever be happy again if you dont want to be.

I know what you guys mean...

But I look for other kind of advice..

Should I call her? yes or no, what could I best say to her, and what not
Send her more flowers yes or no that kind of things..

talaniman · May 5, 2007, 06:34 AM

I think you should leave her alone, and get your own life, and if she comes back I would kick her to the curb, and tell her to go back to her boyfriend. Don't call or send flowers or anything as you will be as a wimp who can't move on.

diya · May 5, 2007, 07:18 AM

If you're so desperate, u think she would like to come back to someone who doesn't have control over oneself? Girls like confident men, and by no means you look confident right now, by all this you're only going to lose self respect which is of course the most deteriorating factor in any relationship. Think about it... I am saying from the girl's perspective...

Mabrin · May 5, 2007, 07:24 AM

I try to leave her alone a bit..
Just call her before she goes to bed how she is doing and I will always be there for her..
I think ill do that

diya · May 5, 2007, 07:34 AM

If that makes you happy go ahead, but you'll always want to do that, there'll be no ending,because if you don't have control now, how will you control yourself later...

Mabrin · May 5, 2007, 09:52 AM

How do you mean not control myself now?. just to want to let her know that she come to me anytime and that I'm always there for her..
Because this puberal thing, hopefully blows over..

Mabrin · May 6, 2007, 07:21 AM

She now has a relationship with the other guy.. my life is over..

Jiser · May 6, 2007, 07:31 AM

Your life is not over, it has only just begun. Your 19! How many more years of life have you left? Loads. How many people will go and come from your life, plenty I am sure. Such is the journey of life. That's the way it is. Its going to be hard but your come out of this with a thicker skin, a scar to show and to learn from. TRUST ME IT GETS EASIER, Key is to keep yourself busy!!

Read over the board and read past questions and advice! If she says she doesn't want you then:

Its time to accept the harsh truth and start the transition to single life. Its hard but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a relationship and a person.

Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but one day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

You must try follow these: (be strong)

1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill - Ur halfway there!
6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell of a lot

You don't need anyone to be happy.

The best revenge is to be happy yourself

O and the best thing is : Its great to be single :)

Geoffersonairplane · May 6, 2007, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by Mabrin

she now has a relationship with the other guy.., my life is over..

Jiser said it best so I won't add anything except this.

She now has a relationship with another guy...

So what? Who is to say that it will work out with him?

Sounds like a rebound to me.

Focus on yourself. She's made her bed now she can lie in it. Try and think that way. VALUE YOURSELF!!