[PirandelloLuigi]

Hi guys,

What does it mean when an ex writes an email and says they want to catch up? Is it just to see what your doing in your life or do they want to get back together?

[smoothy]

It means they haven't moved on a gotten a life yet. Or they tried and broke up and are looking for a quick booty call.

Best to ignore them.. Why reopen old wounds... or waste time trying what already has been proven not to work.

[Fr_Chuck]

While smoothy is most likely right, they also may have looked at a old photo and wondered "what happened to you" I am friends with every ex, I ever had, going back to high school. We sometimes chat on Facebook, about what happened over the last year or so.

You can either ignore them, of if you want to just chat, chat I see no reason they want more than just to catch up, with what you said.

[talaniman]

No one can know what the exe's motives are for contacting you, and only you know what the relationship was like then, and how you ended it. If you don't want to see her then don't.

[PirandelloLuigi]

No one can know what the exe's motives are for contacting you, and only you know what the relationship was like then, and how you ended it. If you don't want to see her then don't.

Hi Talaniman, been a long time eh, 6 years flew by so fast.

I don't see anything bad of her reaching out to me, because we did not end the relationship in a bad way, there wasn't any hurt feelings, it was just some differences we had that we could not figure out how to fix them.

The last thing I told her was that I did not want to be in a casual relationship with her because I did not want to go from serious relationship to casual. And she like said OK with a very sad voice and heard like deep sadness sigh and that was it, we hung up the phone and no contact for 6 years.

Who knows what happened in those 6 years...

I am just going to have a talk with her over the phone and see what she has to say, I know she lost someone in her family in those years and maybe she wants to talk about it. She also is 6 years older now and I am sure she had plenty of time to think about what happened and realise some things.

Anyway I will give it a shot and speak to her.

While smoothy is most likely right, they also may have looked at a old photo and wondered "what happened to you" I am friends with every ex, I ever had, going back to high school. We sometimes chat on Facebook, about what happened over the last year or so.

You can either ignore them, of if you want to just chat, chat I see no reason they want more than just to catch up, with what you said.

I agree with you, she said also if I have a girlfriend that there is no bad intentions in her trying to speak to me. So I don't think she trying to get back. Maybe she has some regrets or guilt she wants to get off her chest or maybe she sees me in her sleep and cant sleep anymore and needs to clear it up lol...

[PirandelloLuigi]

It means they haven't moved on a gotten a life yet. Or they tried and broke up and are looking for a quick booty call.

Best to ignore them.. Why reopen old wounds... or waste time trying what already has been proven not to work.

That can be very possible too, because I know for a fact she always had casual relationships before dating me and I was her first serious boyfriend, maybe after me she was always finding casual things and could not find a serious guy that was compatible with her.

Or the other possibility she hasn't moved on, because when we moved on we don't call back our ex's.

One thing for sure, for her to make the first move after six years and write an email must not have been easy, she must have thought about it a lot before writing.

[smoothy]

That can be very possible too, because I know for a fact she always had casual relationships before dating me and I was her first serious boyfriend, maybe after me she was always finding casual things and could not find a serious guy that was compatible with her.

Or the other possibility she hasn't moved on, because when we moved on we don't call back our ex's.

One thing for sure, for her to make the first move after six years and write an email must not have been easy, she must have thought about it a lot before writing.

Nope... it just means they are desperate. And since they can't find someone new.. they are trying to get back with someone they have already failed with. Actually it doesn't take much thought... it takes more effort to go out and meet someone new... trying to contact exes actually takes very little thought at all.

Also.. if it didn't work before... its not going to work if you try again... and all you have done is waste more of your life. It takes a long time and a lot of bad experiences (and years wasted) before a lot of people learn that lesson for themselves.

At some point they find themselves much older... most of their counterparts have already found their partners, married and are raising families... and they suddenly find the choices a lot more scarce. Anmely mostly people so damaged they can't find someone.. or are divorced for whatever reason... or end up fooling around with someone else's spouse on the sly.

A guy might think....oooo easy lay. problem is...you hook up for a booty call....she decides she wants to keep it...and have NO desire to be around her for the next several decades....and you find yourself on the hook for child support for the next 18+ years....

Don't laugh...I'm being serious...I know several guys that exactly that has happened to. Or worse.....her biological clock is ticking and she sets out to get pregnant...with or without the guys knowledge or complete consent and lies about using birth control...or sabotages yours. Seen that happen too. And knew the women who did it fairly well.

[Alty]

I'm friends with most of my exes, and I'm happily married. One ex I lost contact with for 12 years, then found his email and contacted him, just to catch up. He lives in the US, I live in Canada, but he comes to visit his family here often, and when he does, we get together, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes he, his wife, me and my husband. We're just friends, and the only reason I contacted him is because I missed his friendship.

Only she knows why she contacted you. Asking a bunch of strangers won't give you answers. You need to ask her what her intentions were.

[PirandelloLuigi]

Well I spoke to her and I told her the truth, I told her I have a girlfriend I been seeing for 3 years and she told me she could not find a guy to have a long lasting relationship and she is still single. We talked about the past too and what is new, whether we will continue to talk, I don't know... Only time will tell. She mentioned she is thinking of moving to Australia, she did not go into detail why and she closed her Facebook, I am suspecting she probably got stalked by an ex or something.

[talaniman]

Probably just checking you out for the sake of curiosity, quick, easy and casual fun, if you were up to it. You met talked, and it's time to move beyond it.

No harm, no foul, no what if's.