[F586389]

It's about my ex-boyfriend. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. He was my best friend. The most loving, sweet person I've ever met, but then he started using drugs and going to parties very often with his friends from college. He stopped giving me attention and broke my heart. So, after more than a year on this relationship, I broke up with him. He agreed that it didn't really work for us anymore. We said we would still be friends, and it was a sincere decision ( I know I'll always love him, even if he's just my good friend ).
So we kept talking but only by sending short messages ( where he always said he was fine, that everything was perfect, but as I found out later by him, that wasn't true. He had some personal problems that time and he didn't want to show me).
Also, after some months, I found out that he started going out with a girl ( He's never been the type of guy who stays single for a long time. Once he told me that he doesn't like to be alone and I don't know if this means something, but that's how he is). I moved on too, but I'm not on a serious relationship with anyone.
Some months later, he finally called me again, told me he's not into drugs anymore and started being sweet again, like before, showing he remembered all the things that are important to me, asking about my family and all. I know he's still going out with the girl but he never mentions her, really, not even a word, so I don't know if he feels something for her.
We are living far from each other, colleges in different cities, and like when we were togheter, he's asking me to visit him, talks about the idea of me studying closer and he also says he wants to come here.
I don't know if I should go, so I said to him that I need time to decide what to do. If I see him again, I'm 90% sure that we won't stick as 'just friends', it will become a relationship again, or I'm afraid it all could be over because I don't know if I can feel emotionally safe.. ( he already broke my heart by ignoring me for his friends when we dated before).
Ps: Although he's being sweet to me most of the time, sometimes he acts like he used to, before we broke up, ignoring some messages ( answering after days ) and, most recently, I think he's hiding his problems from me again, saying it's all OK, when it's not. That makes me really sad and afraid that maybe he's again into drugs. ( I don't know if I'm just paranoid, or what, but there's a chance.. ).
So, any advices? And most important: should I visit him already?

[LittleBlackKat]

Why are you putting yourself through so much headache and heartache is what I want to know. Based on what you posted, this man has a pattern for confusing you: hence the being nice, saying he is done with the drugs, and then proving to be the total opposite.
What's worse is you're just adding on to the pressure by ruminating over and over about what he feels for the other girl, if he feels for her, etc. This is just silly and un-needed stress.

If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't hide anything to begin with. He'd be clear, cut off contact with the other girl, and state what he wants out of a relationship with you. It's that simple.

And finally, you need to consider your own choices in this matter. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't even stay in one relationship for a long time? If so, then by all means, all the power to you. If not, get this guy out of your life and spend your time wisely and effectively.

Hope this helped.

[smkanand]

You don't have future with such person, who don't care about himself. You loved him but life needs more than that. Keeping a humanitarian view, you might wish him all the goodness but don't get involved any-more. It will spoil your life as well him.

[C0bra_M3nace]

This is a perfect example of why it's poison to stay friends with your ex's. Block all contact with him and move on with your life.