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    stwart2013's Avatar
    stwart2013 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 5, 2013, 09:43 AM
    Should I stop seeing my dad
    I'm not comfortable with my dad coming down to see me & I haven't been for along time. That's why I've always seemed a bit unhappy when I'm around him. I can't see it working out between us & I'm trying to accept the fact that he's OK with me being gay but all I think about is him being angry in the background. I'm just so distressed and I don't want to be around him. I'm not saying I don't want to see him ever again but just keep in contact on a phone basis.. What would be the best way to handle this?
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
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    #2

    Mar 5, 2013, 10:35 AM
    Don't loose the most precious relations in your life. If he is angry with you today, he will understand tomorrow. If you don't want to meet him, that's OK but don't break all the relations. Try to talk on phone on regular basis and try to see him once in a month. If he wants to see you with his own wish, then don't stop him. He might need you or worry about you. Soon things will be good.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #3

    Mar 5, 2013, 11:25 AM
    "I'm trying to accept the fact that he's ok with me being gay but all I think about is him being angry in the background."

    That sounds like it is more your issue than it is his. If your dad accepts you, why can't you accept you? As someone who has recently lost both parents, I would suggest you keep him in your life. You may need him one day.

    And work on not obsessing on every single thing. Start enjoying life. Smile and have fun.
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
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    #4

    Mar 21, 2013, 06:46 AM
    Thanks chiragm984, I know how important a father in one's life.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Mar 21, 2013, 07:01 AM
    I don't think the relationship with a person's father is the most important relationship in a person's life.

    At some point adults have to become their own people - if parents disapprove, well, then it's time to distance yourself.

    I assume the OP will always be gay, and the father needs to accept that. The father is the one with the problem, not the son.

    EDIT: I totally misread the question - FrChuck is right. The father appears to have come to terms with the son's sexuality, but the son still does not want personal contact. Old wounds? Something else?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Mar 21, 2013, 07:04 AM
    Why do you think he is angry? What is he doing to make you believe this?

    If he is trying to accept it, why to you now judge him?
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