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Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 01:38 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

First, I would stop acting so needy with frequent emails, texts, calls, etc. about how much you love him. Prove it by not getting drunk and not being every guy's buddy and flirt friend. In fact, get off Twitter and stay off. When you text or email your boyfriend, talk about school classes and texts and teachers and silly things that happened during your day with the family dog or hamster or cat. Tell him what you ate that day and how good the pizza was. Stay away from talking about guys and parties and alcohol. Do fun things with him. Write a story together, with you doing one sentence and then he adds a sentence. Talk about books you are reading (you ARE reading books, right?). Be normal, not Miss Chatty Cathy.

Thanks a bunch I will surely stick to what u've said. But as of now he isn't even speaking to me. I feel I should give him some space.

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 01:39 AM

Originally Posted by Nab28

Thanks a bunch I will surely stick to what u've said. But as of now he isn't even speaking to me. I feel I should give him some space.

And stay off Twitter to show him you are serious. He will begin to see how you really feel about him and that you value him.

It's 2:40 a.m. here, and I am going to bed. Sweet dreams (and no Twittering!).

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And stay off Twitter to show him you are serious. He will begin to see how you really feel about him and that you value him.

Gradually he will talk to me?:( thank you so much. U ever been in a long distance?

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's 2:40 a.m. here, and I am going to bed. Sweet dreams (and no Twittering!).

You too.:) thank you so much. Here it's 9:42am:p. talk to you hopefully soon. Haha.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 2, 2012, 03:42 AM

The issue is that most long distant relationships don't work, and most end with couples breaking up. The reason, long distant has to move to real like local at some point. So what is future plans, how many years for it to happen. Is there local meetings some times.

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by Nab28

U ever been in a long distance?

Yup. My boyfriend was back home in western New York and I was in college 600+ miles to the west in Chicago. I came home only three times a year for a few days. I worked at the college during the summer. And back in those long ago days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was no texting or cell phones or computers for email. Long distance calls on rotary phones (my dorm had one on the wall for 200+ girls to use) were very expensive, so he and I wrote letters to each other.

The drinking age in Illinois was 21, so no wild, drunken parties were held on campus or off (at least none that I knew of). If you were in a relationship with someone, other guys (or girls, if you were a guy) respected that.

You don't know how good you have it!

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 04:21 PM

How cute. :D. anyway we got talking he told me to tell him something
I'm afraid to say how much he means to me cause of maybe my incapabilty of showing it. I have been off twitter for the past 21 hours now. He did speak to me today normally.:D

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by Nab28

how cute. :D. anyway we got talking he told me to tell him something
I m afraid to say how much he means to me cause of maybe my incapabilty of showing it. i have been off twitter for the past 21 hours now. he did speak to me today normally.:D

Now, see how well that works -- building trust! Keep it up! Be coy.

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 04:28 PM

:d

Our anniversary is in a few days time. I want to do something but it's a L.D.R. any suggestions please for what.Apart from Skype.

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 04:32 PM

What time? First year?

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 04:35 PM

Lol its not up to a year yet just the 9th month.

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 04:52 PM

It's no big deal then. Nothing is called for except a nice email saying, "Happy nine-month anniversary."

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 04:53 PM

Lol, thanks.

Wondergirl · Dec 2, 2012, 05:00 PM

And being well-behaved and trustworthy.

Alty · Dec 2, 2012, 05:05 PM

I never did understand the month to month anniversary thing. Celebrating an anniversary every month makes it less special and meaningful.

I'd wait until you actually hit a milestone, like one year, before doing something special. The 9 month point doesn't even require an acknowledgment, just another day, another month, nothing special, not yet. Not unless that 9 month mark coincides with the arrival of a child, then you can celebrate. :)

Nab28 · Dec 2, 2012, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And being well-behaved and trustworthy.

Lol thanks wonder girl and I shall remain trustworthy:)! And no more twitter gaga .

wanting sex but unavailable

He's never mentioned he wants to have sex for the past 8 months. I mean that's really a while. I'm far from him. I don't know what to do I really want him to have sex. But I'm unavailable. And suggesting something else might seem like I actually don't Care about him.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 12, 2012, 01:34 AM

So let him have sex with someone else if it is bothering you that much?

But seriously so he has not had sex, he can masturbate, men go months and years without sex with another person, he will survive.

Has he been making or saying things to make you feel bad ? Is he trying to make excuses to allow sex with someone else ? Are you ?

Nab28 · Dec 12, 2012, 01:41 AM

Oh wow. I didn't think men could survive for now without sex. No he's not making me feel bad at all. And he's said he can't have Sex with anyone he doesn't have feelings for. I once asked him if he masturbates once he told me NO.

Distance

I met him online, we Skyped a few times we text everyday. We are so far apart. This summer I went back to visit my family. He was suppose to be back by the time I was there. But he's school work didn't let. He's there now while I'm in school. Like he will be out before I get to go back there next year. It doesn't seem like we will end up meeting I don't know what to do. I really want to meet him.

smoothy · Dec 12, 2012, 06:57 AM

How about meeting someone who actually IS where you are... There are plenty of available people that ARE local to you that you can get to know. Instead of fantasizing about someone that isn't.

Nab28 · Dec 12, 2012, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

How about meeting someone who actually IS where you are.....There are plenty of availible people that ARE local to you that you can get to know. Instead of fantasizing about someone that isn't.

It isn't to let go. But I guess I will have to ASAP. I guess we might never meet up.

smoothy · Dec 12, 2012, 07:17 AM

The problem with distance relationships is you both dream things up about each other that aren't true because you aren't there to know differently... its something you can't avoid doing.

Then when you finally ARE together you find they aren't what you expected them to be. Both people do this.

There really is no substitute for actually being there early into a relationship.

Some things just aren't meant to be... just because you CAN do something doesn't mean its wise to actually do it.