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Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 01:01 PM

After my mom left my sisters dad is when it started.I was barely 13 when she left him for another WAY younger man (we actually went to the same school for a year before he went to high school). My mom started leaving me with my 3 sisters so she could go out with him (bars, clubs, 4wheeler riding, partying, etc.. ) then she started following him to other states while he worked shutdowns.

We were left with my sisters dad for months at a time. He made me do everything a mom would do. Cook, clean, laundry, dishes, helped the kids with their homework, etc, just so he could get on the Internet and chat on that dumb website cupid or something like that.a Anyway, I failed my first year of high school because I never had help with MY homework. I asked for help and he always told me he didn't know how. When my mom and her boyfriend got back and a few years had past, we moved to Colorado, and things got worse.

I had met my now fiancé back in 06 and he came with us. My mom and her then boyfriend had fought a LOT he was abusive toward her. I had even protected her a few times from him. Anyway, she started calling me names, and leaving her responsibilities up to me again. She called me a back stabbing bi***. She even raised her hand to me a few times. We ended up moving back to our home state a year later, and she left her abusive boyfriend.

Not even two months later she met another man, and things between us got even worse! She keeps saying my fiancée and myself owe her money.We've given her thousands of dollars since Colorado. We even helped buy her new boyfriend a truck. We practically bought it. And has told people in my family that we don't help her any way and that we don't pay rent. We do pay rent, and we give them money when they need it.e Even though we have no money to spare right now.

Yesterday my fiancé, AND myself were about to leave to go get my sister from a friends house, only my mom didn't say we had to, until I had fixed breakfast, and was about to eat. I told her I was about eat, and we would go pick her up after we were done.t Then about five minutes later she comes running in talking about how we have to leave to go get my sister because the girls parents were leaving to meet us at a store. So I get up walk toward the trash can and toss it in. She starts screaming " g** da** it never f***ing mind I'll f*** do it since you're gonna act like that". Then she decides to throw in "i never ask you to do anything" that is a big lie! I do everything for her.

For the past week and a half, I've been watching 4 kids, getting them up for school, and making sure they get there on time, cooking, cleaning the house from top to bottom, washing clothes of theirs that had been sitting there for months.. you name it, I've done it. I did it all, so she could be with her boyfriend because his mom was dying of cancer. I did it willingly and without complaint.

I stood up for myself yesterday. First time ever. Of course it didn't do any good. Ive tried to tell her how I feel and she says I'm too sensitive. Its not me. I've always been this way, she's the one that's changed. She use to love me, and care about me, but not anymore. I can't take this much longer, she's literally driving me crazy!

talaniman · Jan 22, 2012, 05:10 PM

How old are you and your boyfriend, and maybe its time for your own place?

Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 06:00 PM

Im about to be 20,we live in a camper on a piece of their land.. theres no point in us renting or buying a house because he works shutdowns.that is still no reason for her to be so mean to me all of the time.calling me names and verbally abusing me?I think not.I gave my teen years up to help her with any and everything.what I've put In this passage isn't even the half of everything she's done and said to me.I deserve better than that...

Fr_Chuck · Jan 22, 2012, 06:11 PM

So move your trailer to a trailer parking spot, (common for people who follow the shut downs) or move to a cheap rental place if they own the camper. And just get away.

And sorry you deserve nothing in life really, you know how she was and how she is, so you have no reason to even expect anything different.

Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 07:45 PM

Excuse you!fyi she use to not be like this!! do you run around grabbing your kids by the hair and throwing them around?or slap your kid all because they have a chemical imbalance in the brain so they get 10x more upset than a normal kid would.if you lived this way and had no choice but to be here because there are no jobs going on with this company right now.you know I just needed some understanding not you being a jerk to me!do you know what its likw to have a parent look at you with such hate!? you have no idea what I go through everyday!

Fr_Chuck · Jan 22, 2012, 07:47 PM

So don't go though it every day, move out, move away, just stop having contact with her, you go though it every day now as a adult only because you allow yourself to

Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 07:55 PM

No because I can't afford to.I can't afford to go anywhere else.im broker than broke neither my fiancé myself have gotten a call in months for work.everytime we call they say there's nothing going on.we have tried other companies and nothing!I havw no choice but to take all the different types of abuse.

And I DO deserve better!how would you feel if it was you?I gave everything up for my mother... EVERYTHING.I had a house and a nice vehicle but her being selfish made me lose it!since I OWE her and all!its not even right you would say I don't deserve anything.. the only thing I ask for is for her to treat me the way a mother should!maybe even acknowledge that I've helped her at all.that is all I ask she doesn't even have to love me...

talaniman · Jan 22, 2012, 09:11 PM

Maybe its HER that needs some help. Maybe there is something wrong with her that she has lost control over.

Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 10:20 PM

I think it has to do with the fact that its my fault my mimi died(grandmother)i was barely a year old and she had just mopped the house, I was running she chased me and she slipped and cracked her skull.. she passed away shortly after.ive told her before that I blame myself she didn't say anything though.she lied about how she passed away until I was 15 or 16, she let it slip how she really died.my mom always said she passed away due to a stroke.I think its got to do with who my dad is too.I have a different dad than my 3 younger sisters.I just get the vibe she wishes she wudnt of had me.my mom use to say that if it wasn't for me she wudve never made it after my mimi died but now she acts otherwise.I just don't understand what I did tp deserve this treatment from her.she even talks bad about me to other people in the family,she makes me look like a horrible person.I realize she had me @18 but if she didn't want me why not give me up for adoption?myself esteem is shattered.. I probably won't ever get it back.I uswd to be a great person,sweet,and confident.that person is long gone.I use to have lots of friends but they stopped talking to me as soon as I moved, now all I have is my fiance'

talaniman · Jan 22, 2012, 11:14 PM

I think your moms life has taken a terrible toll on her, and its hurting all of you.

Honey06 · Jan 22, 2012, 11:38 PM

Yea I figured that too.I just wish she would take it out on someone other than me... I know she takes a lot out on my younger sisters but I'm the main target when she decides to have one of her moods.we are doing everything we can to get out of here and away fr her but its not that easy these days.everything costs so much its really hard.

I think it would be great to get therapy or to find a healthy way to release all my anger and frustration.that would cost a pretty penny too though so I just don't know anymore.im tired of trying to make it work.I want to worry about me for a change and not her or everybody else.I don't ever do anything for me anymore only others.I don't even think I know how to be happy anymore,I only know depression and stress

talaniman · Jan 23, 2012, 08:05 AM

I can sympathize, as I know financial stress can make smaller things even bigger, and a lot more stressful. There may be some options through your county human resources (or whatever its called there). Both financial, and mental health. Explore it, as you explore other job options even if it requires moving to another area, or vocation. Also pursue job training locally, that will make you more employable. Do you have kids of your own?

Taking time for you is a good idea. You do sound overwhelmed.

Honey06 · Jan 23, 2012, 09:12 AM

I am very overwhelmed.I don't have kids.I would really love to go back to school.I didn't finish getting my education.id like to get my GED and go to school to be a RN or an ultrasound tech but first we have a lot that needs to be paid off.
There's a lot id like to do with my life but the thing is getting the money to do it.we barely have the miney to feed ourselves.and since my fiancé works shutdowns we don't qualify for food stamps or any of the other government assistance stuff.we live off unemployment right now but it runs out soon so all we can do is hope they call him soon

geminichick · Jan 23, 2012, 12:23 PM

I think it's time your mom and her boyfriend put their grown-up trousers on and stop relying on you for everything. Listen... do not ever give your mother or her boyfriend another dime. YOu owe her nothing. She needs a reality check. She must've snapped when your dad left her. I do apologize for being so harsh about your mother but I have absolutely no earthly use for people who are lazy and use their kids as maids and a monthly paycheck. She will never change and if I were you I wouldn't have anymore contact with her unless one day *bang* she gets her life together!

talaniman · Jan 23, 2012, 12:35 PM

Why are YOU waiting, check out those sources for YOURSELF, so YOU can get YOUR GED, and then move to the next step for YOURSELF. He maybe unable to do much, but I don't think it applies to YOU! It should NOT! Check it out for yourself!

mmresd · Jan 23, 2012, 08:00 PM

You need to stop sustaining your mom. She is a grown women who has handed of the responsabilities to you, is time to hand them back. You need to get out of there, there are shelters in case you have no money, however you and your boyfriend could probably get a place, finding a job is NOT hard, you just have to look. Your mom needs to fall on her butt and realize what she is doing with her life and with her kids. If this continue to happen it is because you are allowing it to. You are an adult, act like it and make your own decisions.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2012, 08:07 PM

Ok I guess I need to ask where are you at? And what type of shut downs he does, The men in south GA that do shut downs live in old run down trailers to do the work and go home to their large homes with bass boats and the such between jobs. ( they live in trailers since they follow the shut downs and travel a several state area doing them)

So we may be discussing different type of shut downs.]

fuego750 · Aug 13, 2012, 10:28 AM

For the benefits of all the younger in the family (including you) you should call child service's and see if they can do something for your brothers and sisters that are minor and see what kind of help you can find for yourself (since you're over 18 they can recommend some place to go) And you're mom will not change she's a selfish B!7(#. AND SHE DON'T DESERVE YOUR RESPECT OR YOUR SYMPATHY! GO AWAY WHENEVER YOU CAN AND MAKE YOUR LIFE.