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    LostPS's Avatar
    LostPS Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 20, 2012, 03:24 PM
    He likes me but wants to be friends.
    So I met this guy recently through his sister. He's really cool to be around and we somehow got pretty close. I really like him but I wasn't sure if the feeling is mutual.

    He just got out of a 6 months relationship and I completely understand that he needs time and all, I'm not rushing anything. When we hangout though we talk so much and seem to enjoy each other's presence. We would text every day and because we go to the same uni, we would see each other almost every day. First we hugged and stuff and I felt he hugged me tighter each day but I could be thinking too much. But then we somehow got to holding hands and kissing but that was that, we never really talked about it. We would go out together do things together until last night we ran into his ex and he was all over her. I understand they just broke up but I couldn't stand seeing that so I left.

    He texted me after saying he really likes me as a friend and said how awesome I am and how I'm cool to be with but he's not ready for a relationship. He said he still want to be whatever we are now and still want to hang with me. He also told me not to ignore him or avoid him because of this because he still wants to hang with me like we do now and said he's only telling me this so he won't lead me on.

    Background info- this guy does not have a record of being a player at all. He's an amazing guy and really kind.

    I don't know what to do. I considered cutting all contact with him and try to move on but that's so hard and I still find myself talking to him.
    It's not his fault though I completely understand his situation.
    Should I keep being his "friend" and wait for him? Help me please my head feels sick thinking about all this.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jul 20, 2012, 04:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LostPS View Post
    so i met this guy recently through his sister. he's really cool to be around and we somehow got pretty close. I really like him but i wasn't sure if the feeling is mutual.

    He just got out of a 6 months relationship and i completely understand that he needs time and all, im not rushing anything. when we hangout though we talk so much and seem to enjoy each others' presence. we would txt everyday and because we go to the same uni, we would see each other almost everyday. first we hugged and stuff and i felt he hugged me tighter each day but i could be thinking too much. but then we somehow got to holding hands and kissing but that was that, we never really talked about it. we would go out together do things together until last night we ran into his ex and he was all over her... i understand they just broke up but i couldnt stand seeeing that so i left.

    he texted me after saying he really likes me as a friend and said how awesome i am and how im cool to be with but he's not ready for a relationship. he said he still wanna be whatever we r now n still want to hang with me. he also told me not to ignore him or avoid him because of this cos he still wants to hang with me like we do now and said hes only telling me this so he won;t lead me on.


    background info- this guy does not have a record of being a player at all. he's an amazing guy and really kind.


    i don't know what to do. i considered cutting all contact with him and try to move on but that's so hard and i still find myself talking to him.
    it's not his fault though i completely understand his situation.
    should i keep being his "friend" and wait for him? or? help me please my head feels sick thinking about all this.

    He's been totally honest with you from what I'm reading. That's a bonus.

    What would I do? I'd remain friends, keep physical contact to a minimum, see what happens next, how this progresses. I see no reason to end the relationship if you think there COULD be a future.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 20, 2012, 11:13 PM
    Maybe stepping back for a while and get your feelings under control, and be as honest as he is. He isn't ready for a relationship ,and you can't be friends because that's what YOU want.

    Don't torture yourself by building high hopes for romance, do other things you enjoy with others and see if the crush feelings fade enough for you to be friends, without waiting for more.

    He may never want what you want. But who really knows?
    Sheedeals's Avatar
    Sheedeals Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #4

    Jul 21, 2012, 01:07 AM
    Just be friends only... not more than that.
    LostPS's Avatar
    LostPS Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 21, 2012, 06:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Maybe stepping back for a while and get your feelings under control, and be as honest as he is. He isn't ready for a relationship ,and you can't be friends because thats what YOU want.

    Don't torture yourself by building high hopes for romance, do other things you enjoy with others and see if the crush feelings fade enough for you to be friends, without waiting for more.

    He may never want what you want. But who really knows?

    Yeah last night I went out with my friends to get my head cleared. We ended up going to the club that I went with HIM last week. It didn't help at all so I came to a conclusion that I do need to step back. Yeah you're right, I think I do need some time to get my feelings under control before I can actually be friends with him again

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