[peacemaker129]

I have a boyfriend who's 16, I'm 15. We have been dating for almost a week. He has had a really rough past, and has trust issues. Yesterday he told me he wasn't 100% attached to be and he was still scared on the inside... I need to know a way to REALLY make him believe I'm not going to hurt him and that he doesn't have to be scared. Any suggestions? I want to spend a long time with him, and I have a feeling if I don't get that one sense to click soon, he's gone :'(

[DoulaLC]

Hi peacemaker129,

I'd start by acknowledging to him that you understand his concern about trusting you given his past experiences and that the two of you have only been together for a week. It is perfectly understandable that he doesn't feel 100% attached... the two of you have just started dating! No hurry for some type of commitment. Tell him that you are happy to take things very slowly and spend plenty of time just having fun and getting to know each other better.

From there you just be yourself. Don't push him for anything more than he is comfortable with. Let the time you spend together, talking and sharing thoughts, goals, dreams, having fun be what helps him to see that you are not like the others. Show him your compassion with how you deal with other people as well. Be respectful of your family and friends to show him that you will also be respectful to him. Show your kindness to others so that he will see that you will also show kindness to him. Be honest with friends and family as well, so he sees that too.

It will be all the little things you do together, and what he sees in your character, that will cause him to be more comfortable.

[talaniman]

Maybe it will take a while for him to get comfortable enough with you but its his problem to deal with, not yours. Just be yourself, relax, and give him time to overcome whatever has him fearful.

Sometimes the best help is to do nothing but give them time, and be patient!