Check out some similar questions!

Jmangano · Feb 8, 2012, 09:21 PM

I am from Louisiana and I know a girl who is currently pregnant (due June 1). Her and her husband have 4 children already and cannot financially take care of a 5th child. She lives in Georgia. Both her and her husband are willing to sign over parental rights. She does not want to see or hold the baby. Her plan is to have him and hand him over. How do I go about taking over parental rights? Do I secure a lawyer here in Louisiana or do I look for one in Georgia? I am not sure what I should expect as far as when signing will occur pre or post baby and how to go about getting a court hearing for this case. Please Help!

Synnen · Feb 8, 2012, 10:01 PM

She and her husband can NOT relinquish parental rights prior to the birth of the child.

Contact a lawyer where you are now. What you are talking about is a private adoption. Depending on the local laws involved, you may also need to pay for an attorney for the birth parents and for the child--the child usually has a guardian ad litem to look out of his or her rights.

I would NOT do this without a lawyer, and I would contact one right away.

Please also do the right thing and urge the birthparents to get counseling from a licensed therapist specializing in adoption. You should also get some counseling yourself if you have not already--adoption today is very different than the traditional closed adoptions, and you need to understand yourself, what the birthparents will be going through, and what your (hopefully) adopted child will need from you to have a healthy outlook on his or her birth story.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 8, 2012, 10:21 PM

This will be a private adoption, and you will have to meet those rules and guidelines. You need an attorney and the parents will have certain rights to change their minds up to a certain point.

Also once adopted if there are birth defects or illness, it is your child and they can not be returned.

This can be a somewhat costly process most likely min of 5000 and most likely closer to 10,000.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 06:46 AM

Okay so I should contact a lawyer where I am first then. How will this go down? I am worried about how it will all play out and about how long I should expect to be in Georgia after the baby is born.

ScottGem · Feb 9, 2012, 06:48 AM

If everything is prepared properly, you shouldn't be in GA very long. Most of the work can be done up front.

I agree you NEED an attorney for this. The attorney can explain everything for you.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 06:57 AM

Also, even if we just go in front of a judge and have papers signed and filed, I still have to pay that much? The birth mother wants to do it as simple as possible. She wants to have the baby and hand him over. How does all of this work? Do we keep the baby in his home town until the adoption goes through? Who has him after he is born if they cannot sign over rights until after the birth? I hope I am not confusing anyone. I have sooooo many questions and I have no idea what I should expect with this

J_9 · Feb 9, 2012, 07:02 AM

I'm not sure about Georgia, but the way it works here in Tennessee, at my hospital...

We give the birth mother a room at the hospital, as well as the adoptive parents. The baby stays with the adoptive parents until the birth mother is released from the hospital. The birth mother, or guardian ad litem, carries the baby out of the hospital and off hospital grounds where the baby is turned over to the adoptive parents. Here in Tennessee the mother has 7 days to change her mind. During this time the adoptive parents must stay in the state. After that 7 days is up the adoptive parents are free to go back to their home state.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 07:08 AM

That was very helpful and sort of what I was expecting. What about the signing over of rights? When does that take place? At the hospital or in a court room after everyone is released and free to go?

J_9 · Feb 9, 2012, 07:13 AM

Again, remember this is Tennessee, not Georgia.

The rights here are signed over after the birth of the baby in the hospital. However, and it gets a little confusing here so bear with me, the original birth certificate is issued with the name(s) of the birth parents. That birth certificate gets amended when the adoption is final.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 07:18 AM

Okay, now here's the kicker. We are not the traditional family. I have three children whom I have 100% rights to because my ex-husband signed over his rights. I am now with a woman whom I have known for over 10 years. We have been together for over 3. What are our rights? Will the courts only allow one of us to adopt and not the other? OR does Georgia law allow same sex adoption? If BOTH of us cannot do it, I am willing to allow my partner to "legally" adopt the baby. I just wanted to know if we had rights as a same-sex couple in Georgia?

J_9 · Feb 9, 2012, 07:24 AM

Now you have gone over my head, however an adoption attorney can guide you in the right direction.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 07:26 AM

Awesome! Thank you so much for all of your help!

Synnen · Feb 9, 2012, 09:28 AM

Also would like to point out that I went through adoption in WI--from the birthmother's point of view.

Whether she wants it simple or not, adoption is NEVER simple. You will be doing ALL of you a favor if you push her in the direction of a counselor.

Not sure of the laws on same-sex parents adopting in either state--but I do know that nearly every state requires that you be MARRIED to adopt jointly. If your state doesn't allow same sex marriages, you will probably not be allowed to adopt jointly.

In Wisconsin, the baby stayed with a foster home until the adoption was final.

And relinquishment and adoption happen through the courts only, not at the hospital.

This is why you really really need an adoption lawyer. Laws vary by state, and sometimes by location within a state.

Too often the people involved in an adoption just want to pass off the baby and sign some papers, but that's not in anyone's best interests. Adoption itself is too complicated to just pass a baby around and hope that's the best for everyone. I'm not doubting you, but I'm really in favor of all parties getting counseling before going through an adoption, both singly and together, so that everyone is clear on what is going to happen and can move forward with a clean conscience.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 09:34 AM

I agree with you completely. I understand the process is not going to be easy for either of us. I am planning on getting counseling on the matter as well. We just learned of the possibility of adoption about 4 days ago. So we are in the beginning stages for sure. I just didn't know where to start or what to do. I contacted an adoption lawyer in Georgia about an hour ago. I have a phone consultation with her in about an hour from now. I hope she can help in pointing me into the right direction. I also wrote down a list of questions that I want to ask her while I have her on the phone and so I do not forget. Thanks for all of your help!

ScottGem · Feb 9, 2012, 10:57 AM

Same sex issues are still very new so you absolutely need an attorney to get you through this.

I do have a question about your other 3 children. Your ex can't just sign over his rights. A court has to approve any termination of rights. So are you sure his rights were legally terminated?

As to your current situation. Costs will depend on a variety of factors. If the bio parents do not want any reimbursement, the it will just be attorney fees. But they might require that you pay at least their medical and legal expenses.

Good luck to you and keep us posted, it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 12:29 PM

I went through a lawyer and my husband signed over his rights to all three of my children. It was approved by a judge and is legal and binding. With regards to the costs, the mother has insurance that covers 100% of the medical expenses and will not require any money from me to "adopt" the baby. I talked to a lawyer from the birth mother's home state and was told to contact an inter-state attorney, so I have just done so. I am willing to pay for the lawyer's and court fees for the adoption. I am hoping the lawyer I just contacted can get back to me with more information.

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 12:31 PM

Sorry I meant ex-husband

LearningAsIGo · Feb 9, 2012, 12:37 PM

I can't add anything to the conversation but I wanted to wish you luck. Adoption is such a wonderful adventure to embark upon. :)

Jmangano · Feb 9, 2012, 12:41 PM

Thank you... I can say we are happy, excited, scared, nervous, and terrified all at the same time. There is so much money to put into this, and if it doesn't go through or she changes her mind, it'll just break my heart!

ScottGem · Feb 9, 2012, 04:30 PM

Hmm this sounds strange. I suspect he didn't sign over his rights but custody. The two are not the same. But anyway that's water under the bridge.