[rachelgirl4]

Ok well sad to say I'm just friends with this guy I really love. He doesn't know how I really feel now, although he did before (when I was just crushing on him) and we ended up as just friends. I still really am interested in him, but it's just so sad. Like he never texts or call me like he used to. I never see him around, we don't talk anymore really. If I were to say something now, it would surely scare him off, get me hurt, make it awkward, etc. I could tell there was awkwardness after I did tell him, though he seemed friendlier and nicer around me. He grew out of it eventually and bounced back. Various things in my life have not been going good at all.
I'm not clingy, I'm not asking anyone to be there for me at this time (although I really do need someone at least) but I'm so happy when I'm around him, happier than usual. It was the first time in months since I saw him about a few weeks ago. He'll usually text me when we see each other, but if we don't at all, he never ever does. I truly genuinely like him, I love everything about him. I just feel so hurt, because I don't know what's going on. At least I could have him just a friend, but that's not-I don't want to be the odd one out, and feel like I'm not getting something, I should be. I feel hurt, and he can't just do this to me! He's blown me off... he doesn't care! It pisses me off.
It hurts me. I stopped even trying to talk to him anymore. I've sort of reached closure with it, but honestly this like the cherry atop of the sundae. It hurts so much, I don't want to effend him if I do confront him, or his ego, etc. Gosh, I feel like I'm in a real hard spot. Instead of doing it, I might just write about it. Anyone have any ideas? I'm trying to come to terms with this through writing. Realistically, I don't know if there's anything I can do.

[themisfitkitten]

Aw, geez. I'm sorry. It's always a very sticky situation when one falls for his or her friend, and I definitely wish you all the best and hope that everything will go well.

What is it that you love so very much about him? How did you fall in love with him? I understand that you have been friends, but if the two of you have grown more distant, is this a case of absence causing the heart to grow fonder?

If he has not been reciprocating your texts as much as you'd hope and you only see each other occasionally, he may not be reciprocating your feelings, or just not even aware of how deep your feelings run... OR, it could mean that he really feels the same way, but is shy to let on. There could be any number of other reasons, but right now only he knows them.

The sticky thing here is that you really only have a few solid choices:
1. let him know that you like him and accept the consequences, which will be unpredictable.
2. don't ever tell him and accept that you'll always wonder how it might have been.
3. just be yourself around him and everyone else, and accept that there may be someone else out there who is better for you, and will want to spend time with you. Continue being his friend in the meantime and if something blossoms between you two, great--and if not, understand that it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with YOU, just that there is probably someone else out there who will make you happier, you just have to wait for that person to come along. Patience is a virtue ;)

I'm a fan of #3 myself, and maybe you can add some more to that list... but what it comes down to is that you have to decide for yourself what consequences you are most willing to accept. Love is a very big thing, but so is friendship. Good luck.

-tmk

[rachelgirl4]

Oh thank you so much! This really made my day! It's kind of hard to say how I fell in love with him. I mean when I saw him, I just knew. It wasn't romantic feelings all at first, but it's like I was struck by lightning when I saw him. I got to know him more, and we became great friends. Between us, we kind of flirted a little, he sort of lead me on to believe he really really liked me, and it broke my heart when I saw him around other girls, etc. But it obviously wasn't the same because he's still now just hanging around girls, it drives me nuts. I told him over text how I felt, and that itself wasn't the best approach I know though we did text each other. Anyway, I agree like you with number three.
But it's going to kill me inside if I see him get with a girl, I don't think he's a player, or keeping his options open I think he just may not be interested in a girl like that, but he's very social and outgoing... but he has a lot more girl friends than guy friends. He's part of this massive clique, and I can't stand his friends horrible people. I mean it his friends don't like me I could tell at all. But he liked me he wouldn't let any of his friends say anything to me. He might still like me, I just don't want to get hurt anymore. But you are so right, I'm worried tomorrow because there's a pep rally, and the first time I had one after it was done, I saw him talking to two girls, one on one side, one on the other, it just broke me I don't know why. But I'm not going to let him ruin my pep rally tomorrow.
I'm reaching closure with it but it hurts so much you know? But I rather be myself, no matter what. But before I wasn't really being myself around him. But I don't know if I should throw away my feelings, pretend they never happened, etc... I just want to stop hurting deep down, cause I feel like there's a hole in my chest.

[themisfitkitten]

I'm planning to reply more to you when I have a little more time, but I did want to say... good for you! Have a great time at the pep rally, and don't let too much overthinking ruin your day. I'll talk to you again soon. :)

-tmk