[Wondergirl]

The other mom the one i wrote this about would probablly say i'm book smart and make good grades. But that would be it because she sees eveything wrong with me and nothing right.

So what would she tell me is wrong with you?

[Taylor1313]

She'd would say that I ignore everything she says,that I don't act my age I act like I'm a baby. She would probably say that I need to grow up and stop being such a brat.

[Wondergirl]

she'd would say that i ignore everything she says,that i don't act my age i act like i'm a baby. She would probablly say that i need to grow up and stop being such a brat.

Is any of that true?

[Taylor1313]

No its just everything she says hurts my feelings and makes me feel stupid. She asks me if she's wrong and because I don't say anything back she assumes I'm ignoring her. But if I do answer her and she gets mad because I (apparently) have an attitude. And she thinks I don't act my age because I cry sometimes about how she treats me and she gets annoyed and if she tells my dad I'm acting like a baby I'll get in trouble and have to go to my room. And I'm not a brat I don't try to at least she just gets mad at me about anything and everything I do. Is that fair that I get in trouble because she doesn't want to deal with me?

[Wondergirl]

no its just everything she says hurts my feelings and makes me feel stupid. she asks me if shes wrong and because i don't say anything back she assumes i'm ignoring her. but if i do answer her and she gets mad because i (apparently) have an attitude. and she thinks i don't act my age because i cry sometimes about how she treats me and she gets annoyed

Let's agree your mom is wrong -- or at least going about this the wrong way. What can you do or say differently to improve the situation?

What if you would ask her how you can do better? What if you ask her what you can change to improve things? And you want specifics, like "make your bed every morning" or "pick up your clothes and don't just drop them on the floor" or "clean off the table without being told." Don't just stay quiet when she asks if she's wrong, but turn it into a question to her, "What specifically can I do to make life better for you and the family?" That way you don't have an "attitude" but show your maturity. And don't cry. Try to smile more and be positive.

Make each conversation with your mom your Academy Award performance of the year.

[Taylor1313]

I'll try but its not all me. She made me feel so alone and on my own today that I carved the word "hate" in my wrist and I didn't even do anything to her at all. I don't understand why she could start yelling at me and not care that I leave for 20 minutes then reappear and th eonly person that knows what I did except joshua. I have nothing to smile about though.that's why I don't smile but no one understands so I doubt you will either.but I will try the whole question thing.

[Wondergirl]

I'll try but its not all me. She made me feel so alone and on my own today that I carved the word "hate" in my wrist

Nobody "makes" anybody feel any particular way. It's your choice to feel that way. You had the choice to cut or not, and you chose to do it. Your mom didn't "make" you do it.

I have nothing to smile about though.that's why I don't smile

Oh, but you do. There is always something to smile about. A year ago, I ended up as an emergency patient in the hospital -- had severe anemia and breast cancer, but I smiled my way through it. By March, the worst was over, but it took six months of smiling to get through it all -- transfusions, surgery, radiation, poking and prodding of all kinds.

but no one understands so I doubt you will either.

True. I can't walk in your moccasins, nor can you walk in mine. I'm telling you what has worked for me. Maybe it will work for you.

but I will try the whole question thing.

Thank you. Please let me know what happens.

[Taylor1313]

I know she doesn't make me but I can't really explain it. Have you ever felt like no one was around to stop you from doing something stupid,until it was too late. I promise you I do have one or two things to smile about:one my boyfriend whom I love and two my best friend who is always there even when we disagree. But as far as my family is concerned I have no reason to smile. No one gets it I don't smile because my life is a mess I don't smile because no one is ever around for me to smile. I tried the question thing and it didn't work all I did was ask a simple one. She asked me why do I act like a baby and I said what does everyone want me to do to change. She just started all on me yelling and screaming at me saying that didn't answer her question.

[Wondergirl]

she just started all on me yelling and screaming at me saying that didn't answer her question.

I wish you could give me her phone number and let me call her, but we can't do that. Instead, read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (from the public library or school library). Let me know when you finish it (it won't take long).

[Taylor1313]

I don't have access to the public library but I'll try the school's library.

[Wondergirl]

i don't have access to the public library but i'll try the school's library.

Why no access to the public library?

[Taylor1313]

I have.no way to get there. My parents have never taken me and they don't think we need a public library if we have 5million books at our house and more in a school library.

[JaneDoexxx]

I can answer you as someone who, just a mere year ago, cut herself. I did it for the most stupid reasons, but it destroyed me even more. I felt ashamed of myself for what I did, but it was a viscious cycle because the though made me cut again. Until one day, I decided I didn't want to do it anymore. I craved for it, I wanted to. Sometimes I picked up the scissors and brushed my wrist, but I never actually did it from that moment on. I never told me parents, there are only three people who know: my two best friends and my boyfriend. I couldn't count how many times I opened my mouth to say 'mom, I cut myself, help me out'. But I knew I would have hurt her more. So I kept my mouth shut, and I swore to myself two things. That, since I stopped, I wasn't ever going to tell my parents. And that I wouldn't ever do it again. Now I'm fine, I'm happy and although I'm struggling and life is tough I feel much better without the cutting. That was the harderst decision I ever made, but it was also the best.
Telling your mom would make you feel better, and she would listen. It can only make things better, really.

[ramona_]

Write her a letter, that's how I told my Dad. Don't blame her for making you cut though, nobody makes you but yourself. Just explain everything to her. She can get you the help to stop and to make the relationship between her and you better.