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ahay19 · Feb 19, 2011, 10:30 AM

So I'm 13. I liked this guy. He liked me. We talked everyday in school and we texted each other everyday. He asked me to a movie after about 2 months of this. But he cancelled out an hour before we were supposed to go. He made up a lame excuse as to why he couldn't go. I told my parents everything about him including how mad I was when he lied. I told them I was done with him, and I really thought I was. But then he came up to me in school and sincerely apologized and explained that he was so nervous h felt sick to the stomach and he knew he couldn't go do he lied which he said himself he now knows was wrong. I accepted his apology and we started talking and texting a lot again. I didn't know how to explain to my parents how sincere and honest he was being, I didn't think they would understand so I never told them when I started getting on the go with him again. (big mistake) so when he asked me to another movie I needed my parents to give me a ride but I didn't think I could tell them I was going with him because they thought I was done with him. So I did the stupidest thing ever and lied. I said that I was meeting up with the girlfriends when I actually met up with him. My mom found out I lied and she grounded me and took away Facebook and msn and my phone. My parents never talked to me for a whole week. They hated me so much and when I started to realize how disrespectful and stupid it was of me to lie I started hating myself and lying to them is now my biggest regret. But they don't know that I feel this bad and I don't know how to tell them or to make things right or regain their trust. Also, I really need my phone back. I have no way of talking to my friends and I need them and they need me. My best friend is going through a lot, her parents just split up and I can't even be there for her. But that's beside the point. I need my parents to trust me again. How do I do this?

DoulaLC · Feb 19, 2011, 10:39 AM

You could either ask them to sit down with you so that you can explain the situation as you have done here, or write them a letter about it.

I think they would have understood that you worked things out with the guy and were giving him another chance. Were they OK with you meeting him for a movie in the first place or was all of that secret?

If they didn't want you "dating" in the first place, I can understand being upset about secretly meeting up with him, but if they knew you had been talking to him and that you were going to see a movie with him before, I don't think they would have had a problem after you explained your boy's explanation.

Unfortunately, you thought it would be a problem so you decided to cover it up. THAT is what got you into trouble.

Talk with them... let them know that you were worried about them being mad if you started talking to this boy again after you said you were done with him. Own up to making a poor choice to lie about it because you were afraid of their being mad at you.

It will take some time, but with making good choices, and plenty of talking, they will regain their trust in you.

adviceishere · Feb 19, 2011, 12:03 PM

You sound like the sweetest kid ever! I see how remorseful your feeling over this, you could show your parents what you wrote on this, and I doubt they ever hated you LOL its important for parents to know who or where their children are at all times, because what if you went missing and they think your with your friends and they're calling their homes and realise you hadn't been seen all night! Pretty scary, but I'm absoloutely sure you've learned your lesson, you should show them your post or a letter like redhead said :)

sharper11 · Feb 25, 2011, 01:49 PM

1st, let me say that you sound pretty mature by admitting your faults.

Your parents do not HATE you. The may not like the situation, and may be mad, but never hate.

Try to explain to your parent what you just wrote on here. Explain that you didn't think they would understand. (by the way, parents understand.. they've been there).

You are young, and your parents are smart, this will eventually blow over, and maybe someday you'll be laughing about it.

But just trust me when I say they do not hate you.. if they did, you wouldn't be grounded. That shows they care.

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 11:42 AM

So I have been feeling really depressed lately. My body aches all over for no reason. My stomach hurts. I can't sleep. I feel sad all the time. I have had many suicidal thoughts and I just don't want to live anymore. I have nobody to talk to about how I feel. I tried talking to my parents and I even wrote a letter but they don't undstand how much I am seriously hurting. How do I make them understand?

My parents have kept my phone for almost 3 1/2 months now and I really really need it back. I know I probably sound immature but seriously I made a mistake. I'm not perfect. I'm human. I swear I learned my lesson. But they still keep it. How can I get them to give it back to me?

Wondergirl · Mar 12, 2011, 11:50 AM

What had you done wrong?

When are they supposed to give it back to you?

adviceishere · Mar 12, 2011, 11:54 AM

I feel for you, I really do, but please do not act on your negative thoughts of suicide because you need to be here, there is a purpose in life for you and once this black cloud lifts (and it will) you will be very thankful you did not bring harm to yourself. Depression is a very hard thing to relate to and understand unless you've been there yourself, and if it helps I will tell you that I suffer from bipolar disorder (a form of depression) and I can completely relate to your pain.

Your thinking becomes so distorted, you have guilty feelings because your feeling so sad without a good enough reason when they're are other people out in the world worse off than you.

But these are very "normal" thoughts when your depressed, you need help and you need it now, and just talking to someone and venting your feelings can help a great deal, and that's what we're are here for. Some people may need medication like myself and some just need a shoulder to cry on. But this will pass! I promise you that.

Is there any other people you can talk to? How old are you also? The pains could be due to growth and the depression may just be hormones. Which is very good news because it won't last long.

redhed35 · Mar 12, 2011, 11:58 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...st-555849.html

Is this why they have your phone or is there another reason?

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 11:58 AM

See my very first question I asked. It explains what I did. Basically I lied to them. :/
They said when they first took it away that it would be a couple months or so.. but its been more then a couple. I really have no idea when they're going to give it back. I'm also not allowed on Facebook or msn still either. And they also have my iPod. :/

redhed35 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:01 PM

You broke their trust, a punishment is not meant to be easy time.

At 13 your parents are trying to protect you, their doing their job, if you keep asking for your stuff back it may only serve to annoy them.

Suck up the punishment and do the time.

redhed35 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:07 PM

While I understand your taking the punishment your parents gave you (please see op's other thread) hard, they do have your best interests at heart, your 13,you broke their trust,as I've said already to you in another thread punishments are not meant to be easy.

If you want to improve the situation, show your parents by ACTIONS that your taking on board what their saying.

In time they will trust you again, but for now, show them you can be mature.

Wondergirl · Mar 12, 2011, 12:16 PM

You feel this way because they took your cell phone away?

If not that, why?

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:30 PM

Well this certainly has not been easy. I feel like Ive learned my lesson and I'm still being treated like garbage for something I did so long ago. I would have almost forgiven myself for what I did but when others don't forgive you yet its hard to forgive yourself. So I feel horrible and gulity and you don't seem to understand like every night I cry myself to sleep. Every night. Do I deserve all this pain I'm experiencing? I know my parents are trying to protect me and I respect that. But I've "Sucked up my punishment" for a very long time. And lately I have been having trouble.. I can't hide away from the fact that I'm feeling really depressed. I can't bottle it up much longer...

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:31 PM

Yes

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:32 PM

Also... Ive never asked for my phone or anything back. So Im not annoying them?

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:39 PM

Partially. I'm under a lot of pressure for many reasons like performing well in sports, getting good grades, etc. I can't hang out with the guy I like so it hurts to think about how much better my life would be if I hadn't lied that one time. If I had told the truth my parents wouldn't mind me hanging out with him. Everything wouldve been fine but I had to go mess that up! I always seem to find a way to mess things up. I just feel worthless and like I can never do anything right. And like adviceishere said, I feel guilty for feeling so sad because I know others have it way worse then I do.

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:41 PM

I'm trying.

ahay19 · Mar 12, 2011, 12:44 PM

Its great to see someone else has gone through a much similar thing as to what Im experiencing!
Thank you so much. Your answer made me feel a lot better.
There isn't really anyone else I feel comfortable talking to , and Im 13 so maybe that could be it !

adviceishere · Mar 12, 2011, 12:50 PM

I'm most certain that its hormones and the problems your having regarding your punishment at home is not going to make you feel much better, but it will be over and things will get back to normal, so all you can do right now is stick it out the best you can until your punishment is over, talk to any of the people on this if you need to vent some anger, from your other posts you seem to have a good head on your shoulders your parents just need to be reminded of that and once you get your privledges back everything will just fall right back into place and you will feel back to normal. :)

Wondergirl · Mar 12, 2011, 12:55 PM

I'm sure your parents have forgiven you. That's what we parents do: forgive but then mete out punishment so the "crime" never happens again. If they forgave you and everyone then went on his merry way, what would you have learned? Nothing!

Knowing how mature you sound in other posts, I'm guessing you have learned from this and will certainly think twice before lying to your parents again. Correct? (So, you see, the punishment is working!)

How much time is left before you are "free" again?